Thoughts on Bachelor Parties & Lapdances?????

@ Mrs S. I totally agree, also I did not mention that I was in her bridal party as a last minute addition, because her Husband and FH were BFF's and I tagged along alot of the time so we got close, but she's was not asked to be in my wedding party, another thing she might be disgruntled about, but I already have 5 bm's :s.

Thank you for the reassurance, and believe me- I have been using his guilt to my advantage thus far lol

I trust my FH completely!!!!! I already know he will be going to at least one strip club if not more.

LOL that's good! You've got a good man there, he made a mistake but was man enough to admit it :-) Don't let this woman rain on your parade!

My husband isn't into strip clubs, but they don't threaten or bother me so I didn't mind at all if he wanted to go. He just isn't really into it though. He actually really wanted to go fishing for his bachelor party, but his guys botched the plan and ended up taking him to a strip club instead, he would have preferred just going to a normal bar at that point.

since then he'd been mentioning how he'd just wanted to go on the freakin fishing boat, so i took him on one during our "mini-moon." it was a whole different kind of dirty, and lots of fun!

I don't mind I trust FH and he went to a bachelor party last year and was teased because he sat playing games on his phone instead of looking at the strippers.... Yayyyy that made me extremely happy lol

I'm definitely not into lapdances one bit... i was so relieved when my fiance told me they were just going to get drunk and no strippers.

Not a fan at all but it's gonna be done. So I decided I will buy him his first one. A. The other guys realize I am ok ( well as ok as possble) with it and they won't push him too much since i already know its happening. And B I score cool wife points. Not that I need them lol. They boys go away next week, thank gooodness for my girlfriends

I'm completely ok with it. I don't think that a lap dance is anything that FH would seek out on his own, but at the BP it's distinctly possible that one of his friends will buy one for him. I guess I see it more as something funny and entertaining than something truly sexual. It's not as though there's anything intimate about lap dance. Which is funny, because I definitely WOULD have a problem with him snuggling and enjoying a quiet romantic dinner with a stripper. I guess it's more about the mental attitudes involved to me.

I don't know. I recently went to a strip club for a friend's bachelorette party (after several drinks, one girl said she could get us in for free and everyone decided it would be funny). They got her up on stage with three girls dancing on her and while it was hilarious, it also made me realize that I would NOT be okay with that if it were my husband up there. Especially considering I know if they did go, they'd go to a full nude one (all the guys were like "What? You went to one where they still wear their underwear?") and the idea of another girl all over him like that makes me uncomfortable, even if I know he would never do anything. To me it's just unecessary and a waste of money.

Luckily, he isn't in to it because he went for a friends bachelor party several years ago and said he would be mortified if his friends did that.

1. FH stopped being a "free man" when he put a ring on my finger, so having a "last fling/last night as a free man" makes no sense.

2. If it's not acceptable in our daily relationship lifestyle, it's not acceptable period.

3. It's not about trust, it's about respect. If you've commited yourself to only being w/me for life, seeing another woman naked/getting lapdances breaks that commitment & I consider it cheating.

4. Yes seeing a stripper is no better than seeing porn. In my relationship we've had issues w/porn, so seeing strippers will only worsen the problem, remind me of the past/put my trust to the test. Dont need that misery.

6. It's not FH I dont trust-he wants to play xbox & drink lol. His GM I dont trust, they've said they're gonna do it. No you're not, or you wont be in wedding. I trust FH to keep them from doing it. But I've also told him if they surprise him & he doesnt walk out, the wedding is off. No excuse for disrespecting.

Just my take

Masquerade Bride, I totally agree with you! Especially on point number 1. I HATE HATE HATE when people say your bachelor/ette is your "last free night/last night as a single person". YOU ARENT SINGLE when you're engaged!!!

DH and I are both not into strippers. We both find it embarrassing. However, if someone threw him a party with a lap dance, and he didn't want to be an ungracious guest of honor, I wouldn't have any issues with it. It's not like he would be boinking her. He would be coming home to me. : )

In my first marriage, my ex was into strippers and lap dances when he attended his buddies' parties. I trusted him competely too. Ultimately, he did cheat on me, but not with a stripper, but rather a co=-worker. I am not insinuating there is a correlation. I am just sharing the circumstances.

Masquerade Bride you are ON POINT!!! Love everything you said!! Aaaaamen lol

100% with Masquerade Bride.

I'm cool with strippers & lap dances. I've taken many male clients to strip joints & have paid for lap dances for them. The strippers are NOT interested in your man - only the money.

FH isn't sure if there will be strippers involved in his Bach Party - it's not his thing but all of his friends have been married for 20-40 years and are hoping to see some 20 year olds boobies LOL My BIL is threatening to bring midgets

For my Bparty, MOH has several strippers planned and even hired them to serve us dinner in their thongs (which she bought peacock ones) after the show. The strippers are also Massage Therapists so she's got that worked in for all of us as well.

She also has Pole Dancing Lessons for us so we can go home & be strippers for our men

Strip clubs in general don't bother me. I went to one recently for a bachelorette party. It was kind of like going to a really weird zoo. I actually dragged H into one in New Orleans that promised live sex on stage and then I got pissed when the girls just scissored each other in their g-strings. (This was after a half dozen Hurricanes, lol.)

Lapdances?...ehhhhhhhhh. Not a fan of some stranger dry humping my husband. I don't care what she wants out of it. I know when you go to a strip club, they take dollars out of your hands and your teeth and all sorts of other interesting places so there's proximity and that's whatever to me, but I draw the line at the dry hump. Sorry.

H has gone to strip clubs for other people's b-parties. I trust him to behave the same way he would behave if I were sitting right there, just like I have when I've gone to a male strip club. There's a way to be a spectator and have fun/go wild at a strip club without being a creep.

And OMG I just read your story, and that woman who tattled to you is a complete twxtwaffle. Sorry, but the only purpose in saying something like that to someone at THEIR bachelorette party is to ruffle feathers. Shame on her. What a jackhole.

I agree with Mrs S's summary and I'm glad you and your FH worked it out.

So mrswilson you're okay with some other woman on top of your man? I get you trust him but why are you okay with it?

I am completely against strip clubs. I really think they are a waste of time and money. I don't want any and neither does FH for the bachelor and bachelorette parties.

I am totally against it! DH and I actually had a combined Bachelor and Bachlorette Party. I personally do not see the need to have a big bash as a last night as being a single guy. If he wouldn't do all those strip clubs and lap dances while he is dating you why do it now? I think it is total disrespect! And honestly if DH even had any of that if we did have separate ones I would not have married him.

Thanks Kris, I agree and am kind of upset with that lady, I ended up having an ok night after that, it was more me being upset about him not being able to tell me something. Crocodile tears I guess.

So far it sounds like most of these replies are on the same page.

1. FH's + H's are OK to go WATCH strippers.

2. FH's+ H's are NOT OK to have lapdances.

3. NO FH is NOT there for his last night out as a single man, he hasn't been single since probably looong before that ring when on your hand, as far as we're concerned. So, bad excuse - don't try it!

and it's all about....R..E..S..P..E...C..T

** * a good heads up for Future Bride's to have a discussion with FH and groomsmen about BEFORE the Bachelor Party***