Thoughts on Bachelor Parties & Lapdances?????

A coworker of mine got married recently and suggested that i suggest to FH and his friends to do a trip to the great american beer festival instead...which i may have to do, esp since FH is really into beers

I personally don't care if FH goes to a strip club and has a lap dance for his bachelor party. It's not something he does on a regular basis and it's one night out. But maybe I feel this way because FH has already told me and his wedding party that he doesn't want to go to a strip club or have any strippers involved (he had a bad experience when he was 19 at the strip club - I laughed when he told me the story, but he was mortified and never wants to be near a stripper again LOL).

My step-brother went to a strip club for his bachelor party. He ended up on stage and the strippers whipped him with leather straps - he had welts on his butt for days afterwards. Afterwards his, now wife, smacked/tapped him on the rear every time he walked by her - payback for going to the strip club I guess! LOL. It's all in good fun though

Sadly to say wether he is into it or not doesn't matter, mine says its a waste of time and money, he doesn't drink it's a nasty stinky smoke filled room and you have some disgusting woman rubbing herself on everyone, this is what he says.... That being said you get 5 men together and the majority of them think the only cool thing to do is to go to a strip club.

A) I trust my fiancé, B) it's his last time out as a free man C) are you wanting to be the woman all the friends say controls her hubby because you don't let him do anything fun?

I would say a random girl on the street doing that I'd be offended, but it's just once and well culturally it's kind of what is expected.

My rule, don't go to the strip club and expect my attention when you get home, I know the stripper probably got you worked up, that's your prob not mine....

And wash the stripper stench off before laying in my sheets and blanket!!!

I was okay with him watching strippers, not okay with him having a stripper give him a lapdance and grind on him- no way is that something that should be okay, and I am truly dissapointed in him and my brother for buying him one.

When he got home, I just asked him if he thought a guy rubbing his package all over me and grinding on me would be okay with him, and he said "No Way!" - so why the double standards when it comes to bachelor parties and female strippers??!

I do not think it was OK from this girl to have told you that. I really do not think it was any of her business. I do understand you're against him getting a lapdance, but I also see why he would not have wanted to have that conversation over text messages.

I don't like strip clubs, but I wouldn't have a fit if FH went for his bachelor party. I'd really dislike it if he got a lapdance. Mostly I don't think that the best way to show that you're ready to get married is to have another person grinding on your lap. But I wouldn't call off the wedding.

Before my MOH got married, there was a party at the house that they'd be sharing after the wedding. The girls all left to go drink and dance at a club while the guys stayed there. And even though the groom firmly requested NO STRIPPERS, his friend ordered one anyway--FROM CRAIGSLIST! She was a HOOKER (seriously, she offerred services that went past stripping). The groom bolted out of the room because the bride had said she wouldn't marry him if he had a stripper.

So he didn't have a lot of fun at his party after that and the guys were texting their GFs who told the bride so SHE was upset, too (since this was going on in her home), when they both should have been having great time.

Yeah but the thing is, is he really a "free" man? he's already promised to marry someone. even if FH and i were just dating i'd be uneasy with him going to a strip club. just seems like something that's more appropriate for single guys to me. unless of course couples go...then it's a different story lol

Like Blair and Mrs. S., doesn't bother me in the slightest. Actually I was going to hire strippers for our Jack & Jill...but I couldn't find enough people to pitch in and it wasn't in the budget to pay for it ourselves. =( But if his friends wanted to take him to a strip club...I say "go have fun, baby!" and that's pretty much it. =)

I always told myself that I would setup my FH's bachelor party and have (80 strippers, of course that's exaggeration) because it's his last night single! Well, years have flown by and I've changed. I already told my MOH/Best friend I didn't want any strippers! It's not appealing to me and it's just something I've never been fond of. My FI I figured would want to go to the strip club etc.. Nope. He wants to go to a friends house, drink beer, and play video games. I've tried to get my FH to go with to a boobie bar but nope, he doesn't want anything to do with it. All he says is "I'm happy with what I've got" (meaning ME).

Guess I should add that it was the bachelor/bachelorette parties. We all wound up back at the house (as planned) where the bride and groom went upstairs to talk. It completely killed the party. And we started hearing exactly what had been going on. Some of the GFs were scoffing that the bride was being ridiculous for being upset (that a fully naked woman was dancing in her home). I wonder if they found out about their boyfriends (now husbands) making out with and groping the hooker as she grinded on their laps without ANY clothing on and if they'd still be okay with it.

I could care less. I trust my dh and know that he's coming home to me. dh isn't really into go to see stripers but he went a few years back for a friends bachelor party.

I wouldn't be ok with H getting a lapdance and he wouldnt be ok with upsetting me.

We aren't into sharing

Edit about seeing other people naked, who cares!

It's ok with me - I'm secure enough in our relationship to not let something like that bother me. In fact, I have offered to take FH to a club and get him a lap dance. He always refuses.

@ Mrs S. I totally agree with vthe wife telling me that was uncalled for, and made me super upset and I was crying at my bachelorette, it wasn't her place to tell me that , especially if her Hubby wasn't even there. ANNDD Later that same wife confronted me and was like "I have a bone to pick with you! Why wasn't my son invited to your wedding when I saw there was children meal options on your RSVP?!" - i was like aghhhh! wtf!

Anyways I've gotten over the whole stripper/lapdance spiel and he feels actually ashamed that he did it, but apparently all the other guys had lapdances too, so not to sound bad, but it actually made me feel more at ease that my FH didn't pay for the lapdance and that he wasn't the only one getting one, as 5 of them did.

Not a great ordeal to happen 17 days before you're getting married to this person, but we deal with whats put on our plates I guess.

MY FH hates strip clubs, he bailed on a friends bachelor party cause they were heading to the rippers. That said he did not want a bachlor party cause he though he does enjoy having some drinks he doesn't like the forced, do a shot do a shot aspect of bachlor parties nor did he want to go to the strippers.

His groomsman planned the bachlor party and knows this FH said he does not want to go but if everyone else wants to go he wont not go. But then he found out another of the guys also didn't want to go to the strippers so he told him if the other guys want to go they can do it at the end of the night and we'll just stay at the bar or the casino.

If he did go to a stripper or get a lap-dance I don't have a problem with it. I don't see why there would be a problem since he isn't into that stuff and would just be going through the actions since the other guys were into it. I think if guys go to these an are honest there is no problem. The problem is the like banker dudes who bring t

NOTOKAY

I don't see why a bachelor party would make it okay to engage in behavior that is otherwise not okay. I would never want a girl sitting on his lap at a club, much less a naked one! Just because you pay her to do it doesn't make it okay in ANY WAY. To me, my boyfriend running his face in some woman's naked tits is cheating. Period. That's a very defined line for me.

If we all went to a strip club in a group and he was just SEEING the strippers, that's fine. You see just as much skin on any Saturday here on south beach! But touching is absolutely off limits.

Male clients to the rippers at lunch, or the guys who don't head home after work cause they need to hit the strip club.

Going at a party isn't to me a problem, but would be if he was the kind of guy who flirted with other girls, or stared at other girls boobs, or asses, or just went any old time.

He didn't have a problem with the fact the girls hired a stripper for my bachelorette. (he only got down to his banana hammock, cause I feel the same as FH... who wants to see nasty stripper private parts,yuck) then again we took like a hundred pics and I showed him. but I don't htink many girls get turned on by male strippers, but a lot of guys get turned on by female strippers. I don't think FH would he's not into the crack head, slutty type.

@Diana c. I would NOT want to see a girl sitting on my FH lap at a club either. That to me is cheating much more so than if him and 10 guys go to the stripper and one buys him a lapdance.

I honestly think many women don't realize what happens during a lap dance sometimes.

But in any case just wanted to add that FH agrees, lap dances are in the cheating because if you have to wonder, then it's not good. He says he would feel super uncomfortable in that situation since he's in a happy relationship with me

Here's what I'm getting from what you're saying.

1. This lady had a problem and she wanted to poop on your B party. I see no other reason under the sun to bring it up in such a way on such an occasion. Her kid not being invited is the most likely reason. It's also about the way she said it. "All over somebody" can mean all sorts of things.

2. Your H was probably just under peer pressure. I don't mean that as an excuse, but the guys were all getting dances, they probably got on his case about it, somebody else paid... and he probably didn't think much about it because it was OK for him to go to a club. I don't think it's an ideal scenario, but I honestly do not see any malicious or hurtful intent behind it.

He obviously feels guilty. Use it to get some last minute wedding stuff done :-) But just the fact that he fessed up to it and feels bad about it means you're marrying a great guy.

I agree with Mrs. S, it wasn't her place to butt in and tell you what happened especially at a time when your trying to have fun! I'm sorry you cried and were upset. I would have been too finding out from someone other than my FH. As for your FI, I can see how him not telling you at the time is reasonable, I would rather want to talk about it face to face too, but he should have at least called you after it happened & told you and said we'll talk about it when I'm back but glad all is good now. I hate people who who open their mouths when they shouldn't, she seems like a drama queen to me.

And I agree, there is a double standard for many things and frankly I don't think it'll change.