That awkward moment when a friend asks if she's a bridesmaid...

I never had this happen while I was planning for the wedding but I agree, such an uncomfortable situation to be in. Hopefully as you said, there are no hard feelings.

I didn't have that exact thing happen, but when I no longer had an MOH a week before the wedding, one of my BM's asked if she was going to be the new MOH... she did end up getting the position (and rocking it, btw!) but at that time I hadn't decided and it was awkward.

It was just so unexpected because we've seen each other a couple of times since I got engaged and she never asked, so I thought she figured she wasn't. But yeah, I think she was cool with it, it was more just wanting to know for sure. But I did feel like a jerk for a little bit.

@Polka Dot Queen - That definitely sounds like it would be awkward! But at least she ended up rocking it, it would have been terrible if she stepped in and didn't do a good job.

I did...and i said yes but then ended up kicking her out because she was a lousy bridesmaid. lol

I had one of FH's sis say in front of his mom, "I already know what dress I'm going to wear as your BM" OMFG, inside I'm thinking that's so rude of you to just assume, wtf do I do now. Outside, I stupidly said yeah that's great. Now not only do I have to have her, but I had to ask FH other sis too, it'd be rude to have one & not the other. Great now I've got 5 ladies & FH only has 3 GM lol

Be glad you said no, saying yes w/o thinking it thru, screws you over later lol

Oh, that's even more awkward! I'm sorry she was lousy.

One of the things I'm learning from the planning process is that I really have to stick to my guns and not let emotions sway my decisions. As much as I may feel bad for inviting/not inviting people, or for choosing Person A over Person B for whatever, I can't change my mind just because I feel guilty.

@Masquerade Bride - Wow, that sucks that she just assumed she would be one and you had to ask the other! Are you guys even close??

That was the other reason I didn't ask her. We're already a bit uneven because FH hasn't chosen a best man yet, so one of the groomsmen might get bumped, but then we'll have one less GM than we'll have BM. Plus we were going to have his sister as a junior BM ((thankfully she didn't ask, we just thought it might be nice), but now it seems like too much trouble. UGH.

I asked my closest friends and of course my sister and then fh wanted me to put his sisters in and like you said cant have one with out the other so I now have 6..at one point had 7 but one of my girls backed out bc she was pregnant and would be due like a mth before wedding..told her to worry about saving for her lil bundle of joy than money for dress shoes and ect for my wedding.

Been there! We got engaged 3 months before my MOH's wedding last year and one of HER BM's kept saying how excited she was for our wedding and that she couldn't wait to be in our wedding... it was SOOO awkward because I didn't even consider her to be a friend! We went to HS together, hadn't seen or spoken to each other in 7 years, and all of a sudden she wants to be a BM? It was wack-a-doodle. Even worse... she asked my MOH 2 weeks ago if our wedding was still on because she hadn't received an invitation (we haven't spoken since June 2011 btw). You so handled it better than I did! I've been childlishly avoiding posting things on FB so I don't have to answer questions!

@Brandy - How many sisters does your FH, just two? My problem with something like that (FH or future in-laws asking to be in the party) is that a bride shouldn't feel obligated to add anyone just to avoid hurting feelings. If you're close, that's one thing, but I feel like the people you ask to stand up with you should be there because YOU want them to be and not because they were shoehorned into it.

@Megan - Wow, that's super awkward! I'm surprised she would just assume that without even talking to you! That is VERY wack-a-doodle. That's a terrible situation to be in, and I would think she would get the hint if she hasn't heard from you! What did your MOH say, did she tell her anything that might make trouble for you?

LOL! FutureMrsChatmon12...I was in that siutation as well as this one.

Now, she didnt just come out and ask me. She actually was upset because I didnt ask her and let jealousy really get the best of her before I could ask her. She has tap danced around the issue and its really wierd talking about wedding stuff with the BM that was upset because I didnt ask her especially when she has a negiative comment to say everytime I answer her questions Funny thing is with this girl she started acting silly and really jealous and all weird on me before I could ask her, so when that happened I just didnt bother to ask her. Now for the other "friend" that I had to let go did & said some things to me, long story and too much to type so I just realsed her as being a friend all together. Its so true when they say weddings can bring out the best or worst in people.

I think this might have just happened to me, but my friend was more subtle. I had sent her a message asking for her new address, and she asked when the wedding was and said she hoped it wasn't next May because she was already a bridesmaid in another wedding. I am not sure if she was saying, and I can't be a bridesmaid in two weddings, or not. But I just told her the date and location and left it at that. She is definitely the type that would think she was going to be a bridesmaid, though.

Tayla- Isn't wack-a-doodle a fun saying? ;-) But... God bless my MOH- she did tell her that the wedding was still happening but that we were having an intimate wedding (if 176 is intimate) and that I wasn't able to invite any other friends besides the wedding party. Which that is true.... our families are HUGE and I honestly have 5 friends (and their dates) and FH has 5 (plus their dates). my MOH totally saved my butt!

I just got engaged in July and I've already had TWO girls ask me if they were a bridesmaid. And both of them are people that would have never crossed my mind! I was shocked. But I just said "no". I want a small wedding party so I cut it off at MOH + 3 bridesmaids. And I selected them based on those who I still talk to on a regular basis and who take sincere interest in my life. I have a ton of friends, but I moved away, so the ones who I keep in touch with (because we both made effort) were the ones I decided meant the most to me.

I'm also running into the issue of people who think they'll be invited. One of two girls who asked about being a BM even said (after she asked that and I said no) - she said "well I better at least be invited". Wtf. I don't like this girl. My FH HATES her. She is incredibly delusional and annoying. But of course I was like "Of course you're invited". She works with me, in the next cubicle actually. Needless to say, things are going to get awkward soon.

That is certainly an awkward situation. I don't have that problem, I have the opposite. I've asked 4 ladies to be BMs, and all 4 declined citing life and finance issues. I understood. Right now my MOH is my sister in law, who lives in TX. She won't be performing any of the MOH duties prior to the wedding. She's just going to show up in her dress, and maybe help me with my bustle after the ceremony. I honestly trust my FH to help me with those things. If I need to have more BMs, FH's friends' wives offered to help, but I'm not close to them. And I don't want to have the WP looking like it's FHs friends and their wives and me. Sorry, I'm just not close enough to them. I want to keep it MOH, Best man, and jr gm/bm (FH's kids) and that's it. I don't need the headache of a large WP. But that's my opinion.

Yes it's happened twice and its so awkward! I chose to have FH's sisters in the wedding so at least I was able to give a good excuse that was true!

Luckily didn't have this happen....just had someone say to me "if you want to be a bridesmaid you know I can".....and that person was definitely not a thought to be one at all! It's a very awkward situation but to those who aren't involved in the wedding (not even a guest) I choose to not discuss the wedding with them. If they ask about it I just say "wedding planning is fine" and then move on to the next topic

Tayla: well the sis that I had to invite, not at all, she's a recluse like me, but coincidentally I havent spoken much to her at all. The sis that assumed, eh I guess we are close. She's younger than me, but she's crazy & fun, so it didnt really bother me too much, I got over it