Teen bride?

View Quoted Comment Girl thank you so much! We are literally the same! Your story is almost identical to my story and our thoughts! It’s great to know someone out there is like us! 💖

View Quoted Comment No problem!! But to answer your original question...I just kind either smile and walk away, or I politely say thank you for the advice, or I say something about our life like we've been together for 6+ years, or I just don't do anything especially if they are just rude about it.

Realize that when it seems like everyone is telling you the same thing, there really is a reason. You could be the exception, but there's a reason there's a rule.

People aren't being malicious, they aren't trying to bother you or any of that; they're trying to share some life experience with you before you have to learn it from the school of hard knocks.

View Quoted Comment I realize that. I understand. Again, this isn’t the question I was asking. Nobody that is actually close to me is telling me this.

View Quoted Comment If no one close is worried then ignore them. I heard so many mean, hateful, rude comments about marrying my husband from total strangers. If they don't know you well, give a big ol' thumbs up and thank them for their ever valuable input.

To answer your question you simple ignore them. No one can rule your life but yourself so just block them out. Just like everyone has also stated I changed a whole lot from my 19 year old self to my now 27 year old self and even back then when I thought I met my one true love didn't turn out that way which thank the lucky stars for that 😆 . I do disagree with the whole love makes a marriage (kinda) phrase because marriage takes lots and lots of hard work. I truly do hope the best for y'all.

There's nothing that I can say that hasn't already been said by people already. So, I'll say this...

I was married at 19, divorced with a baby by 23. (Almost 30 now and finally found the man of my dreams!) To use one word to describe the decision to get married at that age: dumb. Now, with that being said...it can be done. Many couples have done this. If you choose to do so, I wish you nothing but the best! I remember people telling me I should not be getting married, it was not a smart decision, I should wait, etc.....I remember it distinctly. NOTHING was going to stop me from getting married, and it didn't. I'll be honest, there was some reservation within myself to if I should really do it or not...I didn't listen to myself. I also remember me being really defensive with people for telling me it was not smart and I would push those people away. So, I guess my advice would be to:

a) If there's any part of you that isn't feeling right about this - listen to yourself. If I've learned anyyyy thing in life so far, it's that; Never. Ever. Ignore your gut instinct. If there is any hesitation in you wanting to wait to get married...please have the open, true, honest communication with your fiance.

b) If you are adamant about getting married now and nothing can stop you and it really bothers you that people aren't in support....Use the dialogue that others have mentioned in earlier posts: "Thank you for your opinions and concerns, but we have made up our minds and if you can't be in support of our decision, I do not want to discuss this with you right now..." Things like that. I encourage really taking a deep breath and not 'flying off the handle' and getting upset. It's not good for anyone.

Good luck and I truly hope things work out! Also, with comments that I've been reading, try not to take their words as harsh or mean or judgmental. They're just trying to make you think and look at all angles that maybe you haven't thought of before.

If the only people who are questioning your decision to get married are past (not even current) coaches and if you are aware the reason for their comments is because they can no longer coach you in your sport then I think the answer ot your question is why do these people matter to you?

You do sound mature in comparison to many people your age but here is one of those things you will learn as you get older - these people appear to have little to no impact on your life and so what they say should have no impact on your life. You do not owe them an explanation or a response. You can simply explain that their comments are not welcome and will not be tolerated and then you can leave the room.

If these are honestly the only people giving you a hard time, I'm having a tough time understanding what the reason is you feel the need to respond at all ...

My FH and I are both 19 and will be 20 when we get married. Some people said we were too young. You just have to remember that only you know what is best for you, and only you know how in love you are with your FH! I wish people could just see how in love my FH and I are, and then maybe they’d understand! And FYI the people I know that have been married the longest, got married before they were even 20! Good luck! Don’t let anyone get you down.

If you think no one is ever really ready for marriage, that's a huge red flag to me that you're not ready for marriage! For me, marriage basically didn't change anything, and I didn't want it to...that's how I knew I was ready for marriage. We just wanted to formalize the lives we had built for ourselves.

You've mentioned growing together a bunch of times. That's what has a lot of people concerned--you really can't know ahead of time the direction you'll grow. When you're older, most people already have a strong sense of self and any additional growth is relatively small in comparison, so it's easier to stay together. When you're older, the person you fell in love with is likely to be the same person 20 years later. But at 19, the person both of you are now may not at all be the person you are 10 years later. In fact, it's very likely that you won't be the same people. No matter how much you love each other now, there's no way to know if the future-you will love future-him and vice versa. You seem to just outright dismiss this, which shows a lot of immaturity. In fact, I think regardless of the outcome of your marriage, if you read these posts back to yourself 10-15 years from now you would be kicking yourself and dying in laughter at how much you and your thoughts have changed.

But to your actual question: if out of your entire life of friends, family, and acquaintances there are only 3 ex-coaches who are against your marriage, and it's because of incorrect assumptions about how it's affected your life in sports, well, why do you care? This is NOT a problem!

View Quoted Comment If you read one of my above comments, I corrected myself on what I meant when I said “no one is ready for marriage”. Also, even though you grow mainly between the ages of 19-25, you still continue to grow thereafter, even though it isn’t as much. People divorce later on in life as well as divorcing between the ages of 19-25. I haven’t dismissed any of this, I don’t know what comes in the future just like everyone else. I understand. To call me immature is a judgement on someone you don’t even know. I’m listening loud and clear to everyone, including everyone on this discussion telling me I’m wrong for marrying for all these reasons. I only asked for the answer to my question, so thank you for answering my question.

To everyone answering after these comments: I thank everyone for the constructive criticism and concerns on marrying at such a young age. However, I would only like helpful answers to the question I was asking. I gave my age as a detail so people can more accurately answer the question. If I knew I was going to be called and messaged some very rude words, which I have deleted most, I would’ve not put my age or even asked this question at all. I do take everyone’s advice seriously, but really I only wanted the answer to my question, like any other bride does on here. Thank you for those that helped.

"Thank you for your advice and concern. FH and I appreciate it. However, our future marriage is between FH and I. We have discussed marriage at a great length, and we are ready to make this commitment together."

Since you have made up your mind to marry at 19, don’t engage these people in banter. Don’t even answer their questions just change the subject or remove yourself from the situation. There is no way I would sit and listen to someone be critical about my life. I would stop the discussion or walk away.

Also - you said polite, you don’t need to be polite as these people aren’t being polite to you, if you ask me. Cut them off and move on. Now do I agree that one should marry at 19, not necessarily but you made up your mind, so it shouldn’t be up for discussion .

I met my fiancé when I was 19 in college. We did not decide to be really serious about each other at that time and ended up going our separate ways. Years later we were reunited when I was 24 and knew we were ready to be together. We had both been through things, had been in crazy relationships, learned and grew so much. At 19, of course I thought I was ready for anything but man did I have some growing up to do.

Looking back on everything, we both are glad that we did not rush into anything back then. I am now 28 years old and we will be married in 3 months and everything just feels right.

If it is meant to be IT WILL BE. You don't have to rush, you never know what God has in store for your life.

View Quoted Comment Lol! This isn’t a serious answer, is it? Don’t show up in pajamas pants? So showing up in professional clothes as a 19 year old kid will make people take a teen marriage seriously?

’Oh yes, how about those chips? Let’s not talk about the big mistake you’re about to make’

I'm almost 25 and I can assure you I was completely different at the age of 19. It doesn't seem like a big age difference, but it is. I wanted to wait until I got my degree and was stable. I'm not sure what the case is with you is, but if you don't have a fulltime job, cannot support yourself or haven't lived on your own I wouldn't even consider marriage. You can still be in a serious relationship with someone and not be married, so why not just wait? I see a lot of young couples get married and are still living at home or don't have any goals in life/no stable job. I know at 19 I was taking a lot more risks and I was still very immature (frontal lobe is very true). A few years can make a huge difference. I'm a military wife so I probably could have waited a couple more years, but regardless I knew I wanted to marry my husband...the military just makes it difficult to just be a "girlfriend" or "fiancé".

Edit: Didn't ready what you said. I hope my response doesn't come off as rude.

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I think she was just giving some general advice on how to present oneself as a young adult verses a teen. You have to start somewhere, right?

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Marriage isn't supposed to be a learning experience in that you just go with it and hope for the best and if not, oh well.