Teen bride?

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Saying that you don't think anyone is really ever ready for marriage is an untrue statement, I am 100% ready for marriage, we've practically been married for 5 years. Live together, bought a house, raise 2 pups, share bills, have arguments, have experienced some insanely stressful situations, gone through grief together, discussed important issues like religion, politics and kids. There's nothing else that could make me more ready. If you aren't 100% ready for marriage which by your statement you're not, then you should wait. I was not the same person I was at 19, and you won't be either. Have I changed since being with FH, sure but it's in small ways that make me a better person. From age 19 to now, I've changed in huge ways where I've completely altered who I am. That can seriously change your relationship with not only yourself but with other people. Waiting helps solidify that this love is real and true and will stand the test of time. If you two are serious then waiting shouldn't be an issue.

View Quoted Comment At 20, you haven’t experienced a lot of life period.
OP, you mentioned that your religious views would be against you living together. Are you eager to get married because then you’d be “allowed” to have sex, live together, and to paraphrase another poster, “start your lives together?”

View Quoted Comment I don’t really think there is any other reason to marry someone other than you love that person and are willing to go through anything and fix anything for them. And to be honest, I won’t be missing out on anything. This is exactly what we both want. I started college at 16, so did he, he is graduating this month, I will be in December. We both have steady jobs and have savings and insurance under our own names. Our parents don’t pay for us and my scholarship is a sports scholarship and won’t be affected for my last semester.

View Quoted Comment Oh no, I’m 100% ready for marriage. What I mean is, no one is ready to experience every situation you go through, but you can be ready to experience it together. I know I’m gonna change, so is he, but we can grow together. However, I understand the criticism I am getting from you and many people, but this wasn’t my original question. I just want answers on how to answer someone that disagrees with your marriage.

View Quoted Comment No, I am not eager for any of that. If my FH and I really wanted to do any of that, temptation would have already gotten to us and we would’ve done any of that if we already wanted. However, I am not asking for any of this, I just want to know how to answer someone who disagrees with getting married right now, besides what I have been doing.

View Quoted Comment See this is where I disagree. I also believe “living on love” as you said is the reason for marriage. I love my FH. I have since we were younger. I’m not marrying for his money, or the fact that combining our money together makes us wealthy, although it is a bonus and it helps make us work better and have less situations. But even if we were broke, I’d still love him. If we argued, we are going to figure out how to fix it.
I know being married doesn’t make me an adult. I’m not rushing, I feel my timing is just right, and I’m 100% ready. Marriage is always gonna be hard. I’m almost done with college, and I have been living on my own since I was 16.
Besides all this, this is not the question I asked. I just want to know if there is any other way to answer someone who doesn’t agree with my marriage besides what I have been doing.
Thank you though, for the constructive criticism, it does help in a way.

View Quoted Comment You’re right. They don’t have perfect marriages and that’s exactly WHY they’re bringing up these concerns. We know marriage is hard. We know NOW that at 19 we weren’t ACTUALLY ready like we thought. We know that our marriage (or ex-marriage) was very hard and age probably played a role in that. No one here is judging, just giving advice and things to consider.

View Quoted Comment I understand this is all advice, I’m not taking it badly at all. However, this is not the question I have been asking. I want other options on how to answer a person who disagrees. I’m getting married next month no matter what. It’s just a couple people who disagree and aren’t in my family. My family members don’t have any doubt about my future marriage.

View Quoted Comment Perfect marriages? I was totally unaware you knew anyone here personally. Please tell us more about our relationships. I'll wait.

Prove them wrong! Thats my best advice! Work yalls ass off. It will not be easy! But even when you're in your 30s and get married its not easy! Marriage is a daily commitment. You have to work on it daily and choose to love one another every day! Good luck!💙💙

View Quoted Comment Thank you 🖤🧡

You sound pretty mature for your age. And you seem to be getting enough "No don't get married stuff." I'll answer your question for you. If someone disagrees with your marriage, acknowledge that they do and say I'm sorry you feel that way but My FH and I are completely ready and committed to spending the rest of our lives together. Age is just a number!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much 💓

View Quoted Comment I caught that statement too and I agree that it’s quite false. Most people who get married ARE ready for marriage. If someone isn’t ready, then they shouldn’t be getting married.

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Sadly that's not usually how it works. I didn't grow together with the person I was with at 19 that I thought I was ready to marry. We grew apart, and I'm glad we did because I wouldn't have met FH. Again I wish nothing bad for you, and younger marriages do work. Just wanting you to see all the different sides of what marriage takes. I'm sure you two love each other very much and think you'll be together forever, that could very well be the case. Why rush though? I thought why not rush for years when I was younger, now that I'm stable in my life I realize OH that's why you don't rush. As far as how to answer someone who disagrees with your marriage, I think you've been doing a pretty good job of that already

For your original question you keep bringing up, I would advise actually listening to people’s concerns. People aren’t trying to be mean to you, here or irl, but it’s just that we’ve lived longer and know how much life changes and how many people we know who got married young and are divorced now. If it’s been this much of a problem you have to ask it here, you’re likely to get the same reactions here. You’ll just have to stop caring about what everyone thinks.

View Quoted Comment I do listen to concerns. However, my problem is that it’s only like 1-3 people that are concerned in this way, but it has nothing to do with the relationship. Those 3 people are past sports coaches, who are only upset because they don’t get to coach me anymore, because I finished that sport once I graduated high school, yet they blame my upcoming marriage. Other than that, nobody is worried for our marriage at all.

Just ignore them! I was in a wedding last year, bride 22 and groom 21 and they got lots of criticism. If you are going to grow old together, you may as well start now! The best thing to do (I think) is just ignore it, and be the bigger person. Unfortunately, people tend to share their opinions not realizing on one cares. Distance yourself from those people!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

Hi Alexis! I completely understand!! I get married May 19th! I am 19 but my fiance turns 20 a week before the wedding.. when people who don't know us, give us such backlash, and I mean RUDE backlashes 😔😔. But for the people who do know us, they know we've been friends for the majority of our lives, have been "dating" (I say this because at 13 we were told it wasn't dating, it was bf/gf lol 😂) for 6 years now, we live together happily in our house, he's starting his actual career, and i am a year away from getting my BSW. We got engaged in the end of my senior year last year. We both have been very blessed, both our families love both FH & I. My family has always considered him like a son, and his family with me their daughter. We practically know alot about each other and we grew up with lots of hard times, but we were there for each other ❤️. One thing we enjoyed so much was our pre-marital counciling, many were like "why, y'all are so perfect??" Well we love discovering new things and it also helps you actually prepare some for the actual MARRIAGE! Many people are going to be mean, I get it , and I know why! Most are people who had bad marriages or something like that, and they want me to be warned and try and change my mind. But with the people whom are close to us, they make it reasuring. People are gonna spread rumors, right now apprently I'm pregnant 🤷 I didn't even know! (Which trust me I am not...) Rumors like that hurt. We are happy with our lives and trying to make it in this rough world, but you must stick by each other. It IS NOT a 50/50 relationship, it is a 100/100 relationship. You both give it all in your relationship. Talk through things before you get married, get your expectations of marriage out and talk about them, learn what each other does best. Like what the famous Rocky said "she's got gaps, I've got gaps, together we fill gaps" (picture your two hands going together, close your fingers together and filling in the gaps.)

I wish you the best, I don't know what your relationship is like, but mine I love our relationship we are both excited going into the marriage (who wouldn't be?!) But we know, even in our relationship we have, it can getting BORING! but we make new things, went on adventures, learned new things, thus sparking us. Good luck with wedding planning, and like I said plan your marriage. The MARRIAGE is what's important, not the wedding. ❤️❤️