TACKY WEDDING STUFF.....

We are having a head table. FH really wants one and it's the norm here. Never been to a wedding without one (from the Midwest). All the dates of the bridal party will know people or have family except for one. I asked my bridesman (who will have this date who doesn't know anyone) if he'd like to be seated with his date or if he'd be okay if I sat him next to my family. He said he'd prefer to sit at the head table. It's as easy as that. Just ask.

The vibe I have gotten from WW is that a majority of people on here think there is only one way to do a wedding. It's kind of rubbed me the wrong way and honestly a reason why I have stopped coming on the forums as often. While there are a multiple of things I would never do on this thread I would definitely not think less of a bride for doing so (for most of them that is )

There are definitely a lot of things on this thread that are not necessarily tacky, but more a matter of taste. Flip flops and bubbles don’t fit in at a formal wedding, that’s for sure, but not every wedding is that formal. In my opinion, the main thing that makes certain wedding traditions tacky comes down to treating your guests and bridal party more like props for *your special day* instead of making sure you’re hosting them properly. If you want the whole wedding to be about yourself, you’re better off eloping. As soon as you decide to have a big wedding with lots of guests, you take on the responsibility to make sure they have a good time. That’s why head tables can tend to be tacky, if you’re just sticking your bridal party in front of everyone so you can sit with your friends, without thinking about their feelings. It isn’t about the 45 minutes they might be separated from their dates, it’s about you thinking your enjoyment is so much more important than theirs. It’s your wedding, but you chose to make it a party for a large group, so you have to compromise somewhat to avoid making your guests uncomfortable. I find it kind of distasteful to ask your bridal party to be introduced dancing into your reception, because not everyone is comfortable dancing on cue, and you’re really just using them as props to enhance your introduction. I prefer when only the bride and groom are introduced, more than that just seems like overkill.

ETA: I get that head tables are incredibly popular in the Midwest, they are not popular where I'm from in the Northeast. I don't think they are always tacky, BUT it is always tacky to seat people where they will be uncomfortable or not know anyone. So if your head table is causing you to seat the dates of BP members where they will be uncomfortable, then that's what makes your head table tacky. If your BP isn't separated from their dates or uncomfortable sitting in front, then your head table isn't tacky!

I have a legit tackiness question: Is not having a rehearsal dinner tacky? We won't be having a rehearsal the night before (there's a wedding at the venue scheduled) and we'd just rather save the money. My mom has been huffing and puffing about how "it's expected"...

@PushingButtons, if you aren't asking your BP to rehearse, you do not have to have a rehearsal dinner! It would only be tacky if you did ask them to come rehearse and didn't feed them. Not having a rehearsal or a dinner is a great way to save time and money for yourself and your BP!

Thanks @Salisbride! I feel like rehearsals are stupid anyway. Everyone knows how to walk in a line and stand there.

Yeah they are not necessary, as long as you have your processional order written out, you should be fine.

So, I have a question. My SIL and brother did a 'cash tree' at their wedding shower or wedding. Not sure which. It was a completely optional thing and guests weren't required to put a certain amount or anything up. I think they did this to help pay for the honemoon. FH and I are pretty well set on being able to pay for the honeymoon and we'll have our own place so no need for a registry but we thought that if anyone wanted to give us something and not feel obligated, something like my SIL and brother did would be a good idea. Now that I've read some of this, I'm not so sure. Is this one of those ideas that's considered tacky?

I can't stand it. @Mary R: it was Claire that said it, not Truvy.

I love that movie.

@Bobbi: Yes a cash tree is also tacky.

Tacky : when the venue starts breaking down tables and decorations before the conclusion of the reception.

@Bobbi, if guests want to give you cash they will put it in a card and give it to you. No need for a tree.

We're having a head table and bubbles. IMO it is not tacky.

I'm from the Caribbean and our weddings are more laid back but it's so much fun. We do things differently.

A) buffets are more common than plated dinner

B) 99% of couples do not do seating arrangement, you sit wherever a seat is available

C) It's mandatory to have a head table

D) There's no such thing as a dry wedding, you MUST have alcohol.

Just to name a few. That doesn't mean my country's way of doing things are tacky it just means that's all that our people know. And they've been doing this for centuries.

This post severely stresses me out. Y'all are ruining my idea of a simple, stress free, low budget wedding. Apparently I can't save money on alcohol because I HAVE to have a bartender, I can't self cater because my ten years in catering isn't good enough to make sure I don't get sued for bad chicken, I can't sit with my bridesmaids because their spouses won't know anyone and I can't do any sort of traditionally garter or bouquet toss because that's bring too much attention to myself.

I'm sorry, but in our family, we all work together and if I want to self cater, my family is sure as hell going to help me because they don't know how to sit there and just enjoy themselves, they all have to be helping anyway.

Not doing stuff like the garter toss, what are your guests going to do at your wedding? Just sit around, dance and eat? The little events like that people expect and it is what keeps it from being boring.

A fully stocked, open bar without a bartender is literally a dream for me...... Can you even imagine how strong everyone would make their own drinks and then actually be having fun??

And the head tables? I've never been to a wedding without one. Every single wedding party member should be someone who knows you, your family, your friends, be someone who you love and will stay by you forever... Their spouses should be the same. If they're not married, they're gf/bf's should be mature enough to adapt. Make friends. Or not come if they don't want to support you. It's your day. Not your best man's girlfriends day.

Well, Sammi, now you know,

Not sure what is going on with my phone, but my posts are being cut in half. Short story, no bartender = too strong drinks = liability

So Sammi, you basically want an "easy" wedding because it's cheap? Also no guest enjoys watching the groom reach around under the bride's dress. It's creepy and discussing and I'm not even going to go into all of the reasons a bouquet toss is tacky and wrong.

I have never been to a wedding with a sweets hearts table.. And i have been to a lot of weddings here in Chicago. All of my party has guests that know other guests so i do not think it is rude.

But what i do find rude is being a bridesmaid in a wedding and being told you can't bring your fh because of a silly comment he made on fb that wasnt related to the person being married. And then being ignored by the wedding party and just feeling awkward the whole time by yourself. We are still friends though.

My brother just informed me he fully intends to B list. I tried to explain it and got nowhere. Okay tacky Kathy whatever you want!

I cannot help but hate the 'choreographed' surprise dances by the bridal party or bride and groom, etc. sometimes I fall into a black hole on YouTube and watch a bunch in a row. It's so tacky & makes me uncomfortable I can't turn away lol. Am I terrible or does anyone feel the same?