Super Picky Sister in law to be...

I don't understand at all what the issue is. Why is it so important to you that she be uncomfortable? Is she wearing a white dress because that would be the only way that there could be confusion.

Also not everyone has the hair to pull off that look. Without my extensions in(I have really fine long hair) it wouldn't like anything like that and it would be embarrassing to me. Another point in the "updo" is that I get migraines. So IF I did your style with my extensions I would be dying by middle of the night. For my own wedding my hair had to be taken down before dinner.

There are so many reasons why this is so unimportant. Why not just let your bridal party pick?

'If my FSIL told me she'd rather not wear her hair that way, I wouldn't "put my foot down" and make a big stink.' Similarity if the bride said she would prefer our styles uniform updo I would not put my foot down and make a big stink seeing she is the one footing the bill.

Fsil could've said 'can we choose a different up do?' or 'can we look at some other options?' But instead it sounds like she just said, 'nope screw your plans and screw what the majority have decided on, I'm wearing my hair down in curls,' which would have annoyed me too.

I think that if you are paying for it then you should be able to pick if it is up or down. What if they all picked their own style of up-do?

Let them wear their how however they want. Its just a hairstyle and it will in no way take away from you on your wedding day.

Everyone keeps bringing up the pay thing. Well, if FSIL insists on paying for herself, does she get to pick?

That hairstyle is beautiful . . On the Pinterest model! I'm the opposite of your FSIL--wearing my hair down makes me feel unkempt and self-conscious. So if someone demanded I wear it down, I'd feel ugly and and preoccupied on a day that is supposed to be about celebrating my friend. When you feel unattractive, you can only focus on that, especially when you're on display. Here's the thing--even if you're paying for hair, your bridesmaids are still making huge investments of money, time and energy for your day as well. Why would you pay money for hair just to punish them with a hairstyle they hate? Do you want your wedding day to be a fun and luxurious treat for you and your closest friends to enjoy together, or do you want it to be a burdensome duty they can't wait to quit?

I'm also having my hair down.. I basically told my bridesmaids to do their hair however they want as long as it is up! I explained the theme so that they could use that to help them decide if needed.

Its your wedding day! The important part is your marriage to your husband not your bridesmaids hairstyle (which no one will notice btw). Let her have it how she wants, why would you want to start a potential fight with one of you SILs over a hair style??

Is it the way she approached it? Did she say I've got a scar, my hair back gives me a headache, would you mind.....? Or just this is what I'm doing I don't care what you the bride wants attitude that has you upset? It's probably more the attitude than the hair itself.

It was the way she approached it. She didn't want her hair down for any medical reason, no scars. Everyone loved the hair style and were talking about what different accessories they were going to put in their hair and she just said, "I'm not wearing my hair up. It's gonna be down and wavy. I might go to the bar hop up town after the wedding." I thought she was joking but she wasn't. And as far as makeup goes, we're paying to have it done but they all aren't getting the same eye shadow or same shade of lipstick. It's their choice. It just really hurt my feelings how she went about things. I wanted to see what someone on the outside would think of this situation. As far as comments go, I'm a bridezilla dictator who is petty. Lol well, alrighty! Got it! Thanks for everyone's input, regardless.

Ya so you asked her to do something, simple request, why can't she just make you happy and not give a problem for the one day ?? Annoying.

Ew and she might go bar hop after lol. That's what she is worried about ? Is she super young? You are not petty. Don't take things personal. Everyone has their opinions and very strong opinions on here which you have to know when you post something.

They dont all have to have the same hairstyle...is feel weird too ...but just let her know that you want the bridal party to wear thier hair up howver they wants as long as its up....

Personally, the only thing I'm asking of my BMs is that their dress colors match. They have free reign over everything else (hair, makeup, accessories, dress). My ultimate goal is to make my BMs feel as beautiful as they possibly can. I want them to be GLOWING. Nobody has fun when they feel self conscious or uncomfortable!

Let her wear her hair how she likes. Its not like she dyed it Raggedy Ann Red or purple. I let my girls do what they wanted with hair and make up, and shoes for that matter. Floor length dresses and nobody saw them.

@melissahh a friend asking you to grow your hair out for her wedding made me lol

I disagree with most here. I think it's your wedding day and it's your decision, especially since you're paying for it. When I've been in weddings I went along with whatever the bride wanted and I had no problem with it. I feel like that's how it should be.

She's not a prop. She's a human being and as a human being, she is telling you she doesn't like her hair up. Unless you chose her to be a prop for your photos, you need to respect her wishes.

I think its weird for all the BM to have the exact same hair. That being said, if you want her to wear it up, that's not out of the realm of reasonable. Maybe you can compromise with a side updo?