Super Picky Sister in law to be...

I personally think it's weird when bridal parties have the same hair, make up, shoes, accessories. Let the dresses match and let them show a little of themselves in the other areas.

I would let my bridesmaids wear their hair however they want. BUT if I was in a wedding and the bride asked me to do my hair a certain way, I would do it.

If you really want it, then you need to put your foot down. If she doesn't agree then she's out in my opinion.

No one will notice her hair. You are the one walking down the aisle. I'm assuming you're already dictating what she wears, who she's walking with, her jewelry, etc. Let her have her hair how she wants, especially if she's responsible for paying for it. It's just hair.

I was recently in a friends wedding that insisted we all wear our hair up since she was wearing her hair down and she wanted to distinguish herself from the bridesmaids. I've never rolled my eyes harder. You will be wearing a wedding dress. No one is going to mistake a bridesmaid for the bride because they both have their hair down and curled.

If you insist on all of them wearing their hair up, maybe let them each pick a style and you absolutely must pay for it.

Could she compromise and do her hair half-up, half-down? Or a different updo if the issue is she doesn't want to look exactly the same as other BMs? Really, I agree with Teresa - unless there's something wrong with the style where it looks terrible on me or is very uncomfortable, I would do my hair the way the bride wants.

Who cares if she wants it down .. I think it's important that your girls are comfortable with how they look

I don't think you need to worry about hairstyles distinguishing you from your bridesmaids. You will stand out no matter how they wear their hair! I hate wearing my hair up, so I would be a little annoyed if a bride asked me to wear it a particular way, but would never say that and would do whatever she wanted. However, if you are requiring them to wear it a certain way you should pay for it. And if you let her wear it down, you need to let all your bridesmaids wear it however they want. But ultimately, it is YOUR day, and if you really want all their hair up, then you just need to tell them that!

Who is paying for these updos?

I disagree with most of the other comments. If her hair was too short to be done in that style, I would understand her resistance, but it's your day.

I'm guessing in this instance she doesn't, but what if she had short hair? I always think it's weird to dictate the specific hair looks, especially if you don't know the specific difficulties or concerns of a person and their hair.

Even when I have long hair, it doesn't hold any type of style for longer than 15 minutes without a ton on Bobby pins and sprays that give me a headache.

I personally having my hair down theirs up lol

Thanks for your input ladies! It's really appreciated! We are paying for hair and make up, I really just needed to see how others felt about it. Stressing about getting everything together and having all your ducks in a row for the big day can really get to you. I didn't want to say anything to her because although my feelings were a little hurt, I didn't want to react in a way that would hurt her feelings. I really like that this app has these forums so you can get an outside point of view. Thanks again!

Meh, let your BMs wear their hair however they want. Choose your battles wisely. Focus on the marriage to your partner, not a BMs hairstyle.

I think this is petty. I told my girls to wear their hair however they wanted. But if you are paying for her hair then you can decide how you want it. If i was a bridesmaid i wouldn't care and do what the bride wanted but this is such a small detail, don't even worry about it.

I personally disagree with most comments above. Every wedding I've ever been in I was told exactly what dress and shoes I was wearing and how my hair was being done and in some weddings also was asked to get my makeup done. I never disagreed once. It is the brides day and everything should go her way!

Let her do what she wants. But maybe if she doesn't do the hair that you want you don't have to pay for it? Then she can wear whatever she wants, but you don't have to pay for what you don't want.

I can't even remember how my BM's wore their hair in my wedding. To me it's not something to argue about.

A PP suggested half up/down as a compromise... maybe that's something you could do?

I personally don't see any problem with putting your foot down on wanting your ladies to have their hair up. Maybe you could let them choose an updo that they like best, so this FSIL can still be a little different. Also, offering to pay for her hair to be done (if you hadn't already) might make her more amendable to the idea. Also maybe her other sisters can convince her. Could the one who is your matron of honor try talking to her?

Hope that helps, and stand your ground!

Woah, woah, it's not about treating anyone like slaves or robots. I've been in more than a few weddings and the one thing they all had in common, was we all had the same hair style and in most cases the same shoes by request of the bride. Which is why I posted in the first place. I wasn't sure how I should feel about my particular situation because it was one I hadn't been in before. We're all adults here, no need to be rude to one another.

If someone else was paying for my hair to be done on their wedding day, I don't think I would put up too much resistance. It's not going to kill her to wear her hair up for a few hours.