Super Picky Sister in law to be...

So here's my thing - I hate the way I look with my hair up. Absolutely hate it. My hair is only up when I'm at the gym or in bed asleep! I would probably suck it up if the bride asked me to, but I'd be upset and anxious about it and I'd definitely redo my hair during the reception once pictures are over!!

Is there any type of compromise you can come to about hair style? Could she do a half-up look? Or hair down and curled but all to one side? You should be able to settle on something that makes her comfortable but is still different than how you're wearing your hair!

I think the newer half up half down styles are really pretty. I would let each BM/MOH select their style of hair they should feel good about how their hair and makeup look as well.

Let her do it how she wants.

1. It will not make your day any less perfect. You will still have your day.

2. You will not remember how she did her hair unless you are looking at a photo.

3. It won't take away that you are the bride.

4. She is not a prop. She has to show up in the dress and look appropriate. That is it. Blue hair, pixie cut hair, hair down, hair up. It doesn't matter. If she looks good let her be.

This is not a topic to put your foot down. Let it go.

I really dislike bridesmaid clones. The same hairstyle is NOT flattering on everyone. Let her wear her hair how she wants. You will still be the bride. This notion that "the bride should get whatever she wants, it's her day!" Is total BS.

Are you paying for the hair? Then she should be keeping quiet but if she's paying, I'd let the girls pick what they want.

ETA - just saw you're paying. I mean, if I were her I'd be happy not to be paying and keep quiet. But if she's making it difficult, you have to decide whether it's worth dealing with

First of all - I think the hairstyle is very cute. Second - even so - why not just say you want their hair done professionally but let them have it done however they wish? That being said - it's your day and, if I were a BM, and I was asked to have it done a certain way I'd just do it.

Unless you're paying for their hair, you get no say. You want it done a certain way, you pay for it. Still. A lot of people have reasons for not liking their hair up, sometimes even for (yes) health reasons, not just vanity. Having hair up can cause migraines, and can be extremely painful if there's any incidence of eczema or psoriasis.

And they have to be in your pics for the rest of their lives too. Let them look how they want to look.

From a brides perspective, I wouldn't ask that of my bridesmaids. They can wear their hair how they want to as long as it's not over the top distracting.

From a BM's perspective I would consider the hairstyle and do it unless I know it's completely unflattering on me.

Maybe she knows the hairstyle you're asking her to wear looks bad on her or at least she thinks it looks bad on her. Be understanding.

I hate having my hair in up dos. The bobby pins drive me insane and I have very fine hair so it never looks that good. If the bride asked me to wear it up I would but I would be super uncomfortable all night. I don't think its fair for you to make them wear their hair up if you are not wearing yours up. That's like asking them to wear heals while you wear flats. Everyone just wants to be comfortable, regardless of who's paying.

I'm letting my bridesmaids wear their hair however they want. However, it is your day and she should just do as you ask. But please don't make this a huge deal. Your still the bride and all eyes will be on you. Good luck.

I would just let them wear it however they want. My oldest FSIL is planning on getting an updo that looks almost identical to mine. I'm not saying anything about it. Her wedding was many years ago and she missed being MOH in her younger sister's wedding 2 years ago (she was pregnant and couldn't travel) so I'm letting her have a Pretty Princess Day if she wants. In the end, I'm the bride. No one is going to confuse her for the bride. She can wear her hair however the hell she wants.

I say if your paying for it you should choose, she'll get over it

To echo other PPs, i hate having my hair up. I think i have a big head and when it's up, it just shows that off more. I also hate showing my upper back. I just really don't understand why you wouldn't want your bridesmaid to be comfortable when she's there supporting you on your day. Whether that relates to the dress, shoes, hairstyle, etc., if she's a good friend, wouldn't you want her to be comfortable and confident with how she looked?

If op is paying for it then surely it makes sense that she gets final say. Why would this be petty on op's side? It sounds like it's petty of fsil, we have all worn dresses we don't love or had hairstyles we equally don't love as a bridesmaid but who cares in the end? It's one day and the poor bride can't always please everyone! And if all the bridesmaids are wearing their hair up and fsil is the one wearing hair down then yes it will stand out like a sore thumb.

It's petty of OP to force the girls into do something just so that she can *SHINE* even though she's already the bride. No hairstyle will confuse guests on who is and who isn't the bride.

Pick your battles. This isn't one.

Let her wear her hair however she likes. I don't think you should pay for it though.

I hate the colour purple and had to wear it as a bridesmaid the other week. So flipping what?! It was one day and I was happy to wear it for the lovely bride. It's not for the bridesmaid (who isn't paying) to call the shots here.

A dress is different than clone hair.

'Hair is a very personal thing to many people, and having it styled in a way that they aren't comfortable/happy with can ruin their whole day.'

Ugh. Really?ruin their whole day?? And the bride is the apparently the petty one here.

Who the fuck are all these people who dictate how their bridesmaids do their hair? So fucking weird.