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Mrs. Montoya!!!
VIP October 2011

Spending Guilt???

Mrs. Montoya!!!, on January 26, 2011 at 10:31 AM Posted in Planning 0 23
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Is anyone else having spending guilt? The more we spend the more guilty I feel about having this wedding. I mean its alot of money that we could save for something else. I want the wedding, and we already bought our home, have been saving for my sons college, have nice cars, and will not be draining the savings account... but still!!!

23 Comments

  • Tracey
    Super May 2011
    Tracey ·
    • Flag

    I absolutely do! Especially now that I am in the home stretch, everything just seems so overpriced and I keep asking myself if I REALLY want it and will it make any difference to me in 5 years.

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  • Ana
    VIP June 2012
    Ana ·
    • Flag

    I had a total meltdown last night about this very issue. It's so much money already, and I'm so worried about going over budget, even though I've only spent $20 of my budget.

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  • Stacy
    VIP October 2011
    Stacy ·
    • Flag

    I feel guilty all the time about the cost of the wedding. My parents are helping foot the bill and when I see the cost it makes me feel guilty. Me and my fiance are paying for it as well and we have been saving for a home as well so its tough justifing the money for the wedding when a home is definitely more important to us.

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  • C2ShiningC
    Master April 2011
    C2ShiningC ·
    • Flag

    Absolutely! I have had a few mini meltdowns and one significant one just two weeks ago. I've never been a big spender. I don't even spend a lot on my clothing and shoes. It's all target, kohls and tj-max type places. I've been known to carry a shirt around a store for an hour only to put it back because $35 is just too much for a shirt. All this spending totally freaks me out! FH is so sweet too, he makes comments like "$90 isn't too much for your welcome dinner dress. That's the second most important dress you will wear" Smiley smile

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  • Mrs♥In♥September
    Master September 2011
    Mrs♥In♥September ·
    • Flag

    We planned everything simple but even with that it seems like we are putting a lot into it. We shop around for everything to make sure we are getting a good deal. But I do still feel like we can use this for something else. But I really do want that day for us! I think it really hit me when my Financial aide did not go through and now I have to pay for school on my own.

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  • Mrs. Montoya!!!
    VIP October 2011
    Mrs. Montoya!!! ·
    • Flag

    Thanks Ladies its nice to know that I am not the only one!! A few things have gone a little over budget, and we have found a couple things that we didnt originally plan for... I just dont want to regret it after its all said and done (the money part), but I am sure that wont be the case.

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  • Christine
    Super May 2011
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    I definitely do too. I have always had it though even when I buy something small. I guess that's why I've never had much trouble saving money and the reason I have the money to pay for the wedding in the first place.

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  • dai69
    VIP July 2011
    dai69 ·
    • Flag

    I do at times..but to be honest, life is for LIVING so why not.

    It can't always be about bills and stress.

    I'm earning it, I should be able to enjoy a nice wedding for me and my FS.

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  • K
    Master April 2012
    Kimi k. ·
    • Flag

    OMG! I'm SOOOO on this train with you!! We are having a 'small' wedding...but it's still $5500 that I could be spending on something else.....But the wedding means so much to me....I've spent $200 of my $5500 and have already had panic attacks. Next month, I'm visiting all my vendors to put down payments...I'm DEF gonna be freaking then!

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  • Andrene
    Master October 2011
    Andrene ·
    • Flag

    I did in the begining but have made peace with it. We live really frugally on a normal basis so we can afford to splurge on this.

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  • Mrs. Montoya!!!
    VIP October 2011
    Mrs. Montoya!!! ·
    • Flag

    Our budget started at like $8000, it has grown to $11000. We have family that has said that are donating x amount of money but we havent seen the money yet and wont till closer to the date. So we are putting down payments on things and I am panicing. Even if the family didnt come through we have the money, but max I want to spend without there help is 8-9k... so yeah STRESS!!!

    I have only spend $1,100 so far and I am already panicked!!

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  • Mrs. Montoya!!!
    VIP October 2011
    Mrs. Montoya!!! ·
    • Flag

    I think another reason I am panicked is the past year we have spent A LOT!! New baby, new house... ect... not that we are going broke, but we spent so long saving and saving and slowly we are spending it, which was the plan... but still. We have an aboslute min that we keep saved and we wont touch that so I should relax... but I hate spending money LOL

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  • Mrs♥In♥September
    Master September 2011
    Mrs♥In♥September ·
    • Flag

    @dai69 - I love that you said Life is for living!!!! Agree 100%

    @Renne -our budget we set it and its been steady but I can see certain things are going to be more out of our pockets than we planned, mainly the dj. Everyone keeps saying you get what you pay for and I think the dj can ruin the reception real fast. Something that I didn't want want to negotiate was the photographer, I told FH we can shop around but I really hope for good pictures because my friend had a family member take the pictures and she regrets it. I have a mini breakdown every time my MOH and I go over the budget and its stressful since its FH and I paying for everything...

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  • Mrs. Montoya!!!
    VIP October 2011
    Mrs. Montoya!!! ·
    • Flag

    Yes we are also going over on the DJ, but like you said they can make or break the reception.

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  • nikki
    Devoted September 2011
    nikki ·
    • Flag

    Trust me, I feel the same! We scaled way back from what we were thinking initially because I felt like everything was just becoming too much for just 1 day. I agree with Andrene - we keep spending to a minimum in our normal day to day lives so it helps keep the guilt at bay in regards to the cost of the wedding.

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  • countrybride*H*
    Master April 2012
    countrybride*H* ·
    • Flag

    Your not the only one! I think we've spent maybe $50 of our $3k budget, and I'm already worrying bc we haven't put deposits on anything yet, I still haven't had any luck with a venue yet, I keep calling venues but they take forever to get back to me and when they do.. the packages end up being as much as our entire budget for the wedding! As well as we haven't got a cake or bakery yet. We got lucky enough to have my cousin who is a dj do our wedding for free, as well as FH's aunt is doing our photgraphy, she's not a professional, but she has a very very nice camera and has a knack for photography and makes her pictures look like a photographers. But I still panic because on top of the wedding, we have the rest of our honeymoon to pay for (FH is booking it this week when he gets paid) and a house to do a few repairs on... I'm out of a job and looking for one.. with no luck of course Smiley sad..... Anyone losing sleep over money? I know I am

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  • Patricia
    Master December 2011
    Patricia ·
    • Flag

    I'm feeling this way lately, I feel like we should save the money, and use it on something but I really want the wedding. We're not planning to buy a house yet, so I try everyday to move past it but sometimes I can't help but worry, especially now that I'm trying to save 1k for the wedding every month.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    VIP November 2012
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    It is a constant worry. I tend to be a minimalist, and my favorite clothing brand is "clearance" so....dropping this much money for one day seems ridiculous to me, but at the same time FH and I want it to be special and unique...which costs money. I think of it as the "party of a lifetime" so that makes me feel a little better. I will never spend this much money again for a "party" until my own (future) son/daughter gets married...in like 25-30 yrs!!

    • Reply
  • Ava
    VIP September 2011
    Ava ·
    • Flag

    Wow, I guess I'm the only one who DOESN'T feel guilty! I know everything is expensive, but we are working hard and paying for everything ourselves, so I don't see what there is to feel guilty about. Plus, we're not extravagant people in other aspects of our lives, so why not have something nice for ourselves? Sorry girls, I just don't get the guilt thing.

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  • Mary
    Super July 2011
    Mary ·
    • Flag

    I'm known as "coupon Mary" in NJ, where I have friends, so I had many panic attacks in the beginning, when I started realizing how much everything would cost, but now I have made peace with it. We have our budget and we're sticking with it. I feel really good when things are way under that amount (like we had set $1000 as my clothes budget, and my dress only ended up being $450, so I felt like I had scored a bargain victory there, as well as my super score on our letter press invitations through the charity auction).

    We're still contributing to our charities of choice and aren't going to have kids, so I don't feel terrible (now that I am past the original sticker shock).

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