Specifying Dress Code=tacky and rude?

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No patterns? Wow, I have never heard of requiring something like that. Are you planning to disallow entry to anyone who shows up with a patterned dress or tie?

Every dress I have worn to a wedding in recent years has had a pattern (polka dots, lace, flowers, etc.) so if I encountered that on an invitation, I would have to decline (since it's not in my budget to buy a new dress for every event).

I put the expected dress code on Our wedding website for people to see, for the opposite reason (beach wedding super casual, I don’t want people to out dress my fiancé and I)

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First of all, that sounds absolutely stunning! I think the wording sounds great. Thank you so much for your help and advice!

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My thoughts exactly! I'm also a planner and have seen my brides do it. For some reason, now that I want to, people are making me question it. Just nervousness I think.

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You make a great point, it works either way!

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I completely agree. Thank you so much!

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I'm totally with you! It's your day, girl, go for what you want!

I don’t think it is rude, I honestly like for the invite or website to describe what is expected of me to wear. It helps ease my anxiety of being under or over dressed when the expected attire is requested from the bride!

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I meant inappropriate in technical terms, according to traditional etiquette. Attire generally isn't listed on the invitation unless the event is black tie. I don't think your plan would be rude, and I certainly wouldn't be offended as a guest if I received an invitation that listed the attire, but I might find it a bit odd. To each their own! I was just answering your question in terms of the established etiquette.

I agree its a slippery slope but I was married before and my photographer took a family pic. I had one cousin in shorts with black socks and slip on moccasins. It was a 7pm wedding in a very formal venue. You didn't even see the faces in that photo just those darn socks so needless to say that photo never got displayed. I'm not telling anyone what to do but if it is super important to you then I think you can include it. Now my cousin is the weird one in the family (we all have that one) and wouldn't have dressed any different but its just a different perspective. I personally wouldn't be offended if you told me what attire you prefer but I love an excuse to go all out. Good luck with your decision.

It is fine to let people know the formality, though you should not print it on invitations unless Black Tie or white tie. But if you want formal, all full length dresses of dressy materials, or suits ( tuxes possible, not required) tell any one who asks. Or semi formal, which makes cocktail dresses or blazers and coordinated pants okay ( but not random sports jackets or officewear.) Tell your mom and every gossip, semi formal, that is Sunday best. ... What you should not do is specifics you want or don't. No saying, all dark suits, or all red dresses, or wear something black , or no blue because bride in blue. Also, the exception for specifics is health or safety items, or requirements of the venue. You may say things like : No pointy heels on the parquet floors of the mansion, they cause damage. Only rubber soled flats on the sailboat.
Have a long talk with the more talkative relatives of what is formal enough, and not. Your Sunday best, or interview suits and no boots can be passed around the family, though you only say formality. Some people, even most, mean well, but are clueless.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree, most do mean well, but can be extremely clueless and/or just careless. Thanks for the advice!!

View Quoted Comment Oh jeez, yikes! I’m so sorry that happened. I really appreciate your advice!! Thanks so so much!

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There will still be those people that go to a black tie wedding in a ballroom and show up in jeans and a plain t shirt. Sometimes you have to make it obvious, and seeing how a wedding costs thousands of dollars, a guest should put more thought into what they wear.

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It's my personal preference and since my wedding is 15 people including myself, my fiance and my pastor, I know everyone's wardrobes so I know what they have but I get it being that selective isn't for everyone but my wedding is incredibly small.

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Agreed! I hope you get the perfect day Brianna!!

Yes, put it, or black tie or white tie. Something. My fiancé went to an upscale wedding and he packed a cocktail dress for me because he didn’t realize it was a formal wedding. We ended up buying a new dress after the rehearsal. Put it in the invite

I don’t think putting “black tie attire is requested.” I’ve seen that on many invitations and never thought anything of it.

I couldn’t figure it out how to edit on my phone. I don’t have the app. What I meant to say is I think “black tie requested,” is perfect and if I saw that on an invitation I’d think nothing of it.

View Quoted Comment Love it...I want a black tie, fiancé is like”relax”😂‼️