Specifying Dress Code=tacky and rude?

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I gotcha! You could always have the invitations reflect the atmosphere you're going for! If it's more laid back, the you can have a more casual invitation with less formal wording, then vice versa for a more formal wedding!

I 100% did this because I know my family. I said "Church appropriate attire Sunday best, no jeans." Someone still showed up in jeans.

I’d definitely say it! I don’t think it’s rude at all. Especially if you know how your guests usually are dressed. I’d pass the word too. In casual conversation to family or friends. Example: Girl I’m worried that ppl may not follow my dress code! I sure hope they get the memo. Tell it to the family that tells everything 😆

View Quoted Comment Hahaha we all have a gossipy part of the family, don’t we? Great Idea!!

View Quoted Comment You distinctly said “no jeans” and someone still did...I’d bang my head against a wall!! I guess at that point, what are ya gonna do about it, ya know?

I’m doing the same as well and I don’t think it’s rude. I added it to the information card and our wedding website

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Right. At that point we just made sure they weren't in any pictures lol.

Even if it’s not quite polite to specify a dress code, you know your audience.
If the people who you think may show up in jeans and flip flops just really *don’t know* that the church, venue, etc call for dressier clothing, they will be glad you told them!
But if they show up that way because they enjoy the transgressive nature of flouting etiquette, they are going to do it anyway. So...I would make sure to tell anyone who needs to be told that it’s black tie/formal/whatever - in person or by phone call.The people who are going to dress out of place on purpose are doing it for attention. So don’t give it to them. They don’t get to be in pictures and they don’t get a rise out of you at the wedding.

It's not rude. I have issues with trusting people to dress correctly. I have up on my website that "formal attire is requested" and put examples of what I meant but most imprtant what I DONT want to see. It will also be on the invites cause again trust issues.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree!! No pictures, no anger..just a little disappointment (that I won’t let them get their kicks off of ) lol.

View Quoted Comment My point exactly! Thank you so so much for your help!

View Quoted Comment Ahhh same here! I don’t want to say “you can only wear floor length beaded gowns,” but at the same time, I will be like “you cannot wear those jeans you wear to work that have ink stains all over them, sorry”

View Quoted Comment Exactly. Im gonna be all dressed up and I want everyone else to be as it sets a different tone for how people typically act.

Not tacky or rude. We’re putting at the bottom of our invitation that all black formal wear is requested. When in doubt of if something is tacky or rude, look at the royal wedding invitations. They also put the requested attire at the bottom of the wedding invites. If it’s cool with the royals then it’s should be fine overall.

View Quoted Comment That’s just a great tip to follow in wedding planning and life, isn’t it? Haha Amazing point! Thank you!

I don't remember the last time I was invited to a wedding that didn't indicate the dress code lol, it's pretty standard. And appreciated actually! I think most like having the guidance so they can feel they are dressed appropriately. My uncle's wedding was black tie, my cousin's was beach formal, it really helps clue people into what to expect. I stuck this on our website:

The Ceremony and Reception will be held outdoors on the stunning grounds of Villa La Susana so lightweight, coastal-friendly formal attire recommended.

I struggled hardcore with the wording and maybe it's too specific but I am pushing for long dresses with breezy, lightweight fabrics and colors since we are overlooking the Mediterranean, not heavy gowns.

Good luck

I have planned many weddings in my time and attended many more (i have a large family) it is not rude to request a certain attire if the function is formal. I usually recommend an additional card be added in the envelope with the invitation with the request that way it is written for them but not part of the actual invite.

I dont think you are being rude or selfish at all, on my invitations I put beach formal with no patterns because I just dont like patterns lol. It's your wedding and you get a say in how it looks obviously so dress code is up to you, if someone can't afford something or they don't have anything and ask you about it maybe you can give some budget friendly suggestions.

View Quoted Comment Agreed! Rude.

I don’t see a problem with including the suggested attire for the evening so that your guests are aware. I’ve attended a variety of events and they list whether the attire is “cocktail attire“, “formal“, “black-tie”, “casual“, “ Business”, “business casual” etc. It’s such a simple sentence to add and I don’t see the harm in it. I’m sure guests would prefer to wear the proper attire or not show up feeling awkward and out of place.