Small wedding big reception

Everyone on here takes everything so personally...must be exhausting to get offended as often as the regular posters on here do. JFC

OP- invite those who you want to witness your ceremony to the ceremony and that's it. Doesn't need to be complicated. Eta:words

@Jenn Most of us aren't saying her idea is offensive. We are saying the concept is very rude. You don't treat your family and friends poorly and expect them to be happy about it.

@MrsBdeG - that wouldn't be infringing if i was invited.

I've lurked long enough to know that a lot of posters here DO indeed take things personally and then talk shit about people in the daily chat.

@Jenn If I had a friend do this to me I would be offended because the concept is so incredibly rude. It comes off to guests as "You are not good enough to witness our wedding but we will gladly accept your gifts and cash!"

If for example, someone has a really close knit family but a bunch of acquaintances they want to celebrate with and maybe some of their parents friends, there is nothing wrong with a semi private ceremony and open reception. I, personally wouldn't do this but I'm having a small wedding anyway with close friends/family.

I wouldn't look at it as "not making the cut" or as "gift grabby." It's just what the couple did for their own reasons- I would not have energy to be upset/offended over something like that. The ceremony is a very intimate moment whereas the reception is a party...so I'd understand someone wanting only those super close to them attending the ceremony.

Personally, I don't see it as a gift grab if the couples properly hosts the reception. Receptions arent cheap and if the couple is shelling out a ton of money on great food, music, and liquor I do feel cared about. If it was just about the cash grab they could just keep the money they put towards the reception.

If I'm close enough to someone that I will pay for their plate and booze then I'm close enough to them that I would want them at my wedding.

@Spaghetti - Exactly right!

Why would I want to pay for someone to attend a party if I didn't also want them to witness such a special moment in my life? To me the ceremony is the whole point of the day - the reception is an extra optional add on. I want the people who I am celebrating with to celebrate with me THE ENTIRE DAY.

I totally get it for religious reasons, or of the couple elopes privately with just family and has a reception at a later time. I don't get asking people to come to a party they feel obligated to bring a gift to if you aren't going to share the most special moment with them.

OP, sounds like this is what your husband wants to do. It's both your weddings so there will need to be some compromise. If you have to do it this way, just understand that some might decline but I'd like to think most would still want to be there to celebrate with you. If they don't...I'm not sure they were close enough to invite to begin with. If they're willing to come over to my house for poker night to hang out but not make it to my wedding celebration, I'd be pissed at that person.

This is a case of entitlement. You aren't entitled to witness the ceremony if the couple doesn't want you to.

@Macy - No one said anyone was entitled to anything. It's not a case of entitlement at all. No one feels entitled. Most people are saying that if the couple elopes or has a family only ceremony its perfectly acceptable. It's when you invite a huge group to witness and an even large group to party that its an issue.

Entitlement? Nope.

Oooo @Jennifer, tell us how you really feel?

I have never heard of not being invited to both the ceremony AND reception, that rude as fuck.

If I had the choice between going to the two because of a gap or timing of any sort, I would choose the ceremony, most people I know have done this. The last wedding I went to had more people at the ceremony than the reception because it was a holiday weekend and people wanted to witness the nuptials.

@Jennifer I am not involved in daily chats, but I can say in my opinion, no one takes anything personally on this forum. You ask a question, you get an answer. It may not be the answer you want, but at least they are honest. A lot of these regulars are not here waiting for someone to put something up so they can pounce, maybe you are taking things too personally.

@Jennifer - You are sorely mistaken. A lot of women in DC would consider themselves plus size - ALL of them are extremely supportive and open individuals. No one would have made fun of any plus sized brides - whether in the DC thread or on any other thread.

Personally for me, if I was invited to the reception of a close friend, only to find out our other close friend got invited to the wedding, I would feel a little hurt. However that feeling would disappear after a few drinks

I would still go if the ceremony was only for intimate family.

@Jennifer - that sounds like middle school shit...

@Jennifer - and if you participated and did not just lurk you would have read that some of us (myself included) brought up the point of body Dysmorphia to counter other's opinions on the matter.