Small wedding big reception

Yep. I have 110 on the guest list for the reception, and FH and I are still working out who we want at the ceremony. We are capping it at 30 seats though (and we are trying to keep the grandparents from bringing people we don't want there). Most of our friends are really chill though, so I know they wont have a problem with it.

Most people I know skip the ceremony unless they are family especially if there is a gap in between. I wouldn't be offended

I was invited to a reception only wedding...once. I don't recall how exactly they worded the invite; but it was fine. The ceremony was known that it would only be the couple & their children.

Most people I know skip the ceremony unless they are family especially if there is a gap in between. I wouldn't be offended

If you have a truly small ceremony and invite me to a reception where you feed me well and give me liquor, I'm good.

My husband is very shy and English is his second language. We opted for a shorter ceremony (planned for it to be 15 minute but actually lasted 13). We only did "I Do" vows (not long, detailed, lovey-dovey vows). We wrote each other letters for our actual expression of love that are to be read on our 10 year anniversary.

What we didn't do was bar our friends and family from our actual wedding. If it is a truly intimate ceremony (10 people max!) I could see it being less rude of a concept but, overall, the concept of a small actual wedding and a large reception is really gift grabby to me.

I think it depends on how small the ceremony is and how close the people left out are to you. If I was invited to only the reception for a good friends wedding and found out that other friends were invited to the ceremony I would be offended. If it was a family only ceremony I would be ok with it. If I was invited to only the reception for a coworker or more casual friend I would be fine with it. I probably would not travel for a wedding if I was only invited to the reception.

I think depending on how small the ceremony is it's fine. I'm more confused on how an open ceremony is rude? I come from a large church where people like to go see the wedding but it is not expected to be invited to the reception afterward unless your particularly close with the family. Is this not common?

I agree with @rosered- my feelings would depend on how close we were. Co-workers or acquaintances- cool. Close friends? not cool. If it was a local wedding, I'd go to the reception. We have some people that will be attending our reception but not our ceremony for (their own) various reasons. I and everyone else I know in my circle has missed a ceremony here or there but attended the reception. I've actually been invited to the ceremony before, but not the reception. and other times, I was invited to both but only went to the ceremony and rsvp'd no to the reception. If I'm not actually close to the couple (ie invited because of my parents or FH, I don't really care that much).

I wouldn’t go.

Nora bora, with that ratio, some of your guests may be offended. 1/3 of the people they interact with at the reception will have been the chosen 1/3 that get to go to the ceremony. How would you expect them to react?

For most it is considered rude to only invite to reception. But in us it is different than other places. We invited everyone to both.

@Jacks - I'm not worried that they will be offended at all because most of them won't be. We know the crowd we're inviting - and most of them have either done the same thing or are planning the same.

I wouldn't go. Unless the wedding was in a complete different state/country. If we are talking about you are getting married and the same day you are having a party that I wasn't consider a "close enough friend" then I don't see why you would want me at the reception... save the mo ney and just celebrate with those who you would want to share the "getting married" part of the wedding. I never understand how people categorize their guestlist in this way.

One of my friends is Greek Orthodox, and the church they got married in was small. So they had a big reception so all the friends they wanted to invite could at least go celebrate with them.

Megan, here are the mixed reactions you're going to get.

My church has a max occupancy of 80. FH and I both find it very important to be married there. Our guests haven't expressed any offense at a family only ceremony. They are happy to be involved in the day. WW chat forums are the only places that I've experienced people flipping out over the idea. I think it depends on your situation, your guests and your relationship. Our guests are happy and valued.

@Aliya Yes because they discuss how rude it is amongst each other. If I attended the reception only and heard that another 80 people attended the ceremony I'd be right out that door. Tiered receptions, as a concept, are right up there with cash bars and potluck weddings, in terms of how incredibly rude they are to guests. If you can't host well, elope.

Aliya, no-one is going to complain to your face though, right?

Again MrsBdeG nailed it