Small office. Wrong to invite some but not all?

You'll have to invite everybody. Everyone or no one. It just looks really bad if you leave that one person out.

I work in a small office and wanted to invite some but not all. I just decided not to invite any and keep it "friends and family" if they ask why. I didnt want to be rude by not inviting one person but inviting the others. So far, no comments have been made as to why they arent invited

I was the one left out at a coworker's wedding earlier this year. We're not all that close, so it didn't initially bother me that I wasn't invited. But, when I found out that almost everyone else in our office was invited (even those she isn't very close to), it kinda stung. I chose not to invite anyone from work to avoid the same thing. I couldn't afford to invite everyone anyway. But since I'm not that close to most of them, I didn't feel right inviting the 1 or 2 I'd want to without the other 5 or 6, plus spouses.

Oh boy--don't I know it. Plain and simple, he is a jerk. However, he is one of those type that does not KNOW he is a jerk. lol.

Ex. One of my attorneys married a woman of Asian decent. Wonderful couple. The same attorney that I don't want to invite, told the groom in our office hallway: "I hope she doesn't start building rice patties in your back yard!"

See? I don't want this person at my wedding. He attended their wedding, and left before being seated at the reception and his wife never speaks to anyone when they go to firm functions. NEVER. You can say hello directly to her face, and she will stare at you like a deer in headlights. Don't want them there. There has got to be a way to just ignore him completely! LOL!

I had a similar problem. My office is very small...about 7 people including myself. I wanted to invite some of them, but there were 2 I definitely did NOT want to invite. DH and I decided it was better not to invite anyone from the office, as I really did not want those two people at my wedding.

I was at a small office at the time of my wedding, and wound up inviting some but not all. I invited my boss and her husband, and my coworker/work wife and her husband, but left off the other four people in the office. It was a small wedding, so people understood.

That said, I don't think you can invite nine out of the ten people in your office without causing friction. Can you just invite one or two people, or leave all of them off the list?

HUmm, The Miss Manners in me says you need to invite all or none, but the b**ch in me says - make a statement. He behaves inappropriately at weddings and functions and he made a rude comment. No need to bring negative energy to your special day.

However, it WILL get back to him that he is not invited. So can you handle that? Will it put an awkward strain on your support relationship with him?

I invited 3 people that I have known for a long time. 2 of which are coming. No management! The people I invited know how to keep their mouth shut about it. I don't ask any of them about their personal lives, I prefer most of them to stay out of mine.

I think Shannon nailed it, if you leave out all but one then it's an issue, if it's more half/half you can make a good argument and likely keep them quiet

Margaret, I have a similar issue. I work at a car dealership, with sales, service, a finance office and a body shop. There is no way I can invite all of my co-workers and spouses. Some of them I don't even know very well. We have tried to keep our count to around 100, and my workplace would be 25 and plus ones-since most are married. My plan is to invite all bosses and their wives, my office mate and her husband-who also works here, and three other people who I consider friends. I hope everyone else understands. I just can't see any other way to do it. For what it's worth, I have been here 5 years, and most of those I plan to invite have been here longer.

We are a really close office and I have been working with these guys for 12 years. All of them are dear friends with the one exception.

@Caroline-- I like that! :0)

I agree, half and half, you can get away with but if all but one, that could be an issue. I'm inviting a few people at work, but not all, I should get away with that and people should understand.

Sorry you leave one person out you are going to have resentment and awkwardness at the office, no matter how fair and rational your arguments for not inviting that one are.

Stupid double post

@Julie-- most people would understand. He is the type of person to where I would have to explain myself in the middle of the office because he would bring the topic up. Which of course, I don't mind letting him know. Dayum office politics! He would stir the pot, no one else would care. Plus, my groom does not want him there. Rock and a freggin' hard place is where I am caught. LOL!

Vote wins I guess, thanks for the comments! I will have to invite him because I don't see a way out of it. Sunnybeaches!

If he makes one wrong move or comment, I will have security on him like a fly-on-chit! (he he he)

Maybe he will appreciate the invite, but not attend--you can only hope ;-)

@ Julie R. One can dream--He is sitting at the odd table in the back by the restroom and kitchen staff...