Sister just announced she is getting married 2 months before our wedding.

Hi John.

I really don't see any logical reason for her to be upset. Perhaps there is something else going on about your sister's wedding planning that is upsetting her?

When you try to talk to her, how do you approach the topic?

Edit- also, what does she say specifically upsets her.

Explain to your future wife, that she gets a wedding DAY, not three wedding months. People get married all the time, and it's not like she is even getting married the weekend before, or the month of. Geez...

Look at it as you can learn how to make your day run as smooth as possible by going through it with your sis first!!

How long has this been an issue? You said she feels guilty for being upset; maybe she knows she's being irrational and you will just have to let it run its course. If the jealousy has started to overshadow her excitement about your own wedding, though, there's definitely a problem. When we got married, my sister in law and brother in law were both newlyweds (she 16 weeks, he 6 weeks before us). Using their weddings as markers in the wait for ours made the time seem to go by faster. Maybe you could try explaining it to her like that?

I went through this a little bit, but I wasn't upset really. I have one sister who is alot younger then me, but I am really close to my cousins. Basically, one of my cousins has been with his girlfriend for 6 years and they have 2 children together, as well as she adopted his daughter from another relationship. They always said they didn't believe in marriage. However we announced that we were getting married, and suddenly they decided to get married as well, we are getting married in October they are getting married in late august. I was worried that people would forget about us for a little bit, but ultimately I came to the decision that it will be okay. Give her some time and tell her she will still have a wedding day. Hopefully she will feel better about it after she has some time for it to sink in. Of course she feels bad for being upset. She knows she being irrational, but she wanted her day to be special and she's probably worried that people will be comparing now.

I had a family member that was so upset when she found out other family members were also planning a wedding that YEAR. She said that the year she got married was her year and that no one should be trying to jump in on HER year.

But truth be told, a wedding is just for a day. She doesn't need months to shine. The marriage is what should matter the most.

Tough one but try to reason with her. Afterall your sister is pregnant I can understand the rush. Let your FW know that your sister would never try to overshadow you but doesn't want a baby out of wedlock. good luck

Ahhh here's the thing, she can be annoyed in her head and to you, she can't be annoyed to anyone else. 2.5 months is a really good spacing, it means that no one is going to be overwhelmed regarding them being to close and it shouldn't have an impact on the guest list (probably the only good reason to be concerned). You probably know this, and she knows this, she may just need time to work through it.

Explain to her that she can't just reserve 2.5 months before your wedding or even after your wedding..that's a 5 month window then where nobody else you know is allowed to get married..brides do not get to do that or dictate others' life decisions and plans. Maybe she'll calm down after a bit, that's a lot of excitement and attention with the fact your sister is pregnant..maybe she felt left out or something..good luck!

I had been engaged for 6 months when my sister got engaged. We had already set our date and she is the MOH in my wedding. She ended up planning her wedding (a destination wedding that I was a BM for) 3 months to the day before my wedding. We even had a joint bridal shower so that out of town family didn't have to travel too much.

Given the circumstances (the pregnancy) I think it's understandable that they planned their wedding when they did. By the time your wedding comes around most people will have moved on from her wedding and be focused on the two of you anyways. I will admit that my sister and I did fight a bit because she started stealing ideas and unique touches that I had been planning for my wedding but we worked it out.

Good luck!

I think she is over-reacting. Its 2.5 months...not days or even weeks. She needs to realize that it's not all about her all the time. And there is a baby on the way which makes getting married important as far as insurance, etc.

For what it’s worth—she can “feel” any way she pleases but her actions will define her. Now is not the time to act like a princess but it is time to act like a supportive sister-in-law to be.

You and your FI planned a long engagement. Well, not everyone does that, especially since there's a baby arrival dictating your sister's date.

Honestly part of being married is dealing with your spouse's family. And the fact that they have their own lives and arrange their schedules and those schedules just don't always work for you. So suck it up and deal.

Your sister planning a wedding for 2 months prior is totally fine. They're not sisters from the same side of the family so there won't be a hinderance. What I mean is, they're not sharing the same mother for dress shopping, opinions ect. Also, you mentioned there are no guest clashes. With that being said, there's no problem, literally. Your FI will eventually get over it. My brother and I were getting married in the same month - October! His FI wanted the month and I did too and no one wanted to back down - 2 weeks apart. Now, due to COVID, no one gets October '20, LOL. In 1990, my mom & dad, grandpa (mom's dad - 4'th marriage) and aunt (dad's sister) all got married and I was a flower girl in all 3 weddings! Can you imagine?? My mother was a little resentful because she felt her sister in law tried to decorate her wedding the same and practically chose the same dress but she's totally over it, 30 years later! Since then, my aunt and mom have always ironically chosen the same things; they found their dream homes in the same neighborhood, they bought their daughters the same first car, they eventually joined the same church; they've bought the same living room sofa. It's irks my mom but now she just laughs it off. Your FI will be okay sooner or later.

I love the joint bridal shower idea!