sister in law pregnant and insists her baby comes...momzilla! help!

Perhaps you can arrange for babysitting and use that to soften the blow ...hype up how nice it'll be for her and your brother to have a night out w/out baby, etc etc

I actually don't see a problem with having a no kids wedding with the only kids allowed are nieces and nephews of the couple. It's totally up to you, do you want them to have hurt feelings and not be able to come? I would of been upset if my nieces and nephews weren't there to share our day. They're important to me and they all looked so darn cute and handsome! (But that's my opinon)

I think that you should nip this in the bud now.

You'll feel better.

It's a battle but if you feel so strongly about it.

It sounds like you would rather not have her or your brother there, if it is a matter of having the baby there with them or having them all not there.

If so, then so be it.

It's just going to be a battle betw. you and your mom and SIL.

GL!!

Maybe she isn't comfortable leaving her baby alone with someone? Lots of parents are like that.

At 8 mos old, the baby is old enough to be watched by a sitter. The mother will not have time to look after her if she is in the bridal party. Definately let her know that no children will be invited, and that you know some reliable babysitters in the area.

Also, I'm not sure of your family dynamics or how much that would play into your decision.

Would it embarrass you if your SIL told everyone they did not attend because you would not allow them to bring your niece?

If you do allow your baby niece to attend, make sure there is a separate baby's room and have a babysitter there and let your sister in law know that the baby must be kept there.

Or pull your SIL out of your wedding party, yet allow the baby to attend, since she will be more concerned with mothering her baby (as she should) than attending to any bridesmaid duties.............

Yea it is not a good balance to watch the baby and be in the brial party. Either she is out of the bridal party or find the babysitter. She should be enjoying herself and I am sure she will need few hours away from a baby for a break.

I'd arrange for a sitter to assist her with the child. Give her time once she gets into town to meet the sitter and get comfortable with her. But have the child on site for the event. Phrase it along the lines of you know how busy they will be and that they have obligations for the day- such as being in ceremony, standing for pictures, blah, blah, blah and you want to make sure that the child is cared for.

Also, if the child needs to be fed, or changed- you don't want mom or dad to have to slip out all the time.

I don't think you shouldn't allow the child to come- but you can make accomodations so the child won't be a distraction.

At the same time- this is FH's family- he should be fighting this battle. Sounds like FMIL is the one with the issue. Have you talked to FSIL yet?

It's your wedding so if you say no kids, that's it, no kids. There are plenty of babysitters all over the place that can watch the baby for a few hours. I would definitely tell her asap, that way you don't have that lingering over you.

I'm confused, is the father of the baby (her brother) not coming or not in the picture? Because he would be there also to look after the baby.

@FMS: From what I have seen, usually the Dads are not too good handling their babies/kids themselves and rely on the Mom a lot. I have not seen BMs, who are moms with the kids there, able to juggle both duties well. So it's probably best to ask her not to be a BM.

Just my opinion....

By the time the baby is 8 months old she will appreciate a night out with out her... I love my kids to pieces but I would have paid good for a night out every once in a while when they were babies... just make sure you have a responsible baby sitter set up since she will not know anyone in the area. I see nothing wrong with letting her know its an adult only event...

Who knows! LOL most guys I know that have kids handle them well..The decision is totally up to OP, but I guess she can just be prepared for hurt feelings and lack of attendance.

@FMS: must be a Canadian man thing! Just kidding! ;p

Wouldn't dad be involved in the wedding as well?

Even if he isn't, it would be nice for them to have a night out, with the baby close by but not neccesarily in the room. You can stipulate no kids, but this child is in the family.

I'd contact them and ask if they would like you to make child care arrangements, or if they wanted to do ti themselves.

LOL Yeah, Canadian men are regular ole mommies in training! LOL

Most venues will not charge you for children 0-3yrs of age. I would make sure that you let all the rest of your guest know that no children are aloud but when it comes to these two members i think you will be ok as they are not even old enough to eat. Call your venue to make sure but most places dont charge for a certain age. That way you will not even have to worry about that.

@ Meghan I believe this is her brothers wife and not her future in laws

I dont know what BM duties everyone is talking about but when i got married my BM did not have to be with or wait on me hand and foot. Plus cant the family help watch the baby during preperation? Im sure they wouldnt mind as they my not get to see the baby all that much.

I agree...that father can watch his baby during that time as well.

Yep- I was thinking it was his brother, not hers...

She still needs to talk to the parents and try to leave mom out of it if you can... But she probably wants her grandbaby there.

An 8 motnh old can be a handful. The child will want to crawl and grab everything. This sounds like a messy drama just getting started... That sucks.