sister in law pregnant and insists her baby comes...momzilla! help!

8 month olds being flown in can be quite fussy. The baby could be a great & quiet baby, but the last thing you want is a baby suddenly starting to scream in the middle of the ceremony and a BM rushing out of the bridal party to attend to it.

I'm making all of my guests turn off their cell phones for the ceremony, and family or not, no kids.

I'd tell her right now. She mentioned it & since you have already made the decision to not have children at your wedding, I would go ahead & let her know. You're wedding is a year away, but better now that a right before the wedding, she might get fussy then.

I would be prepared that they will not attend if the baby isn't allowed to come. First, she may be breastfeeding, two you are stating the venue is over 45 minutes away from family so family watching the baby out of the question when everyone will be at the wedding from the sounds of it, third since they are from out of town, they may not feel comfortable having some stranger watch their infant. In today's day and age, I wouldn't trust just anyone to watch my kids regardless of how old they are. If the bridal party is a concern just ask her to step out so she can take care of her baby at the wedding. I know from experience I would not go anywhere without my infant daughter then again she was also special needs baby and not everyone can take care of a special needs baby.

I always see weddings as a time to celebrate family, I love all the children in my family and want to continue to be a part of their lives as they grow older. Not including them in our wedding day would feel wrong to me. I don't see why other brides are so against kids at their weddings, you are going to be so completely happy that if your bm slips away from the reception to breastfeed her baby or your brother steps out of the ceremony because his child is fussy, you won't even notice. There are so many other what ifs to worry about that an 8 month old stealing your thunder on your wedding day should be the least of your worries.

I pray to god you don't have to live through what I lived through. My daughter was diagnoised with a terminal illness at the age of 6 months. The disease she had was Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) and majority of those with the disease don't survive to their 2nd birthdays. My daughter didn't make it to her first so yes, I didn't go anywhere without my daughter during the last 5 months of her life and if I did leave her with someone it was with a family member who knew how to take care of her or with her caregiver and it was for a short amount of time. So before you make a blanket statement about not understanding you should familiarize yourself with the situation.

I think for a peaceful life you should arrange to have a sitter. As this is family, if it is important that they attend then you may have to make a consession for this 1 child.

We are not having children either...our wedding is NYE, open bar, very late...just not appropriate IMO. we also have an almost 6 year old daughter, our flower girl, who will be at the wedding (it starts at 7PM) until about 930/10ish. we have then arranged for her to have a babysitter. some people were a little offended at this (we have a LOT of kids in our family), but it came down to a few things for us, too. first, we cant afford it either. between both our sides, there are 40 kids under 18! we are only having 100 guests. second, like you, i dont think it is appropriate. if it were me...i would as gently and nicely as possible tell her about the "no child" rule and tell her that youd be happy to set up childcare for her with a very reliable sitter in the area. someone posted that it will be harder for her to imagine separation from her baby before the baby is born...i totally totally agree with that! there is such a romanticized view of parenting before the baby comes

I think by that point she will be more than ready for a little night out. the only problem is, she may back out NOW before she comes to that realization. like others said, that sounds like it'll be ok with you. id stick to your plan (ie, no children and no exceptions) since that is what you feel strongly about. we do, too. plenty of people have hinted at exceptions for them, but we held firm. we offered to help find childcare, but if they cant come, they cant come.

If you make arrangements for a sitter for one you might end up doing that for others in the same situation. Maybe not but be prepared for that. Bottom line is if you don't want kids there...that's totally your perogative and its understandable. And anyone who is in that situation will have to determine if they will still attend.

Serenaheart - Obviously with a life-threatening disability nobody would expect you to be comfortable leaving your baby with just anyone. But, I don't think anyone is talking about excluding kids with disabilities, or you specifically - just kids in general. I am also in the camp of having no kids at our wedding. All of our friends who have kids are more than happy to leave them with a sitter to enjoy a night out of drinking and dancing their butts off with their friends without having to worry about their kids. I think it's perfectly ok and HEALTHY to get out with your man and have a night out and feel like a woman and not a mommy for a little while. I don't think that women who do this love their children any less or are not good mothers because they enjoy time away from their kids. I have a lot of girlfriends who are great mothers and we still do our annual get-aways together with no kids in tow.

I am sorry I took offense or felt it was an attack on me. I get a little defensive sometimes. In this situation you still have to look at it from a new mother's point of view. She is from out of town, obviously can't leave an 8 month old at home since Daddy and Mommy both are coming to the wedding. Now, you are asking her to leave her 8 month old with a complete stranger for several hours. Like I said before I would not feel comfortable leaving my child especially a baby with a complete stranger so I could attend a wedding for several hours. I am sorry I just don't trust many these days just watch the news and you should understand.

Serena- I agree. I don't want to leave my children with a stranger either. That's why I recommended she give the parents the opportunity to find someone, or meet with them prior. I also like the idea of having them onsite so they can get the parents if needed. At the same time- the child will be 8 months old- not a newborn. The child will be easier to care for, and a professional will have no problems taking care of the baby for a few hours so the parents can focus on the event.

I think it would be wrong for her to force them to leave the child home while they go out of town- but the parents can part with the baby being in very capable hands for a few hours.

Unique oh my gosh that is my pet peeve!!! While I was growing up, my mom was STRICT of how me and my brother behave in public. If I cry or scream, it mean going home lol. And get my butt spanked at home lol. So I agree, so many parents just don't care and that PISSES me off. I respect people and when I have kids, I either go home or go to another room where it is private to calm down the baby. I am sorry but I refuse to go to a resturant with a baby because I know that babies would cry or bother people. That is just me.

For people with kids, if they don't want to leave the baby then I am sorry to say but they should not go to the wedding. 8 months is different from newborn through. I mean if the baby was newborn, it would be okay at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Im currently dealing with major drama regarding this exact same thing. We stated we were having kids at the beginning of the process. My future sister in law who is in my party got pregnant after and we told her in October she would need to find someone to watch the baby. We reminded her this week and things blew up. Long story short, she said some very rude things to me and I told her she needed to step back from the wedding party to focus on her and the baby.

View Quoted Comment This thread is 13 years old. If you want advice on your situation, I’d start a new one.