Showers/Jack and Jills

I always thought "Jack and Jill" meant guys and gals, so you could have a "Jack and Jill" bridal shower, or a "Jack and Jill" baby shower, etc. I'm planning to do Jack and Jill for my shower just because I don't have a lot of family out in CA, so it'll be mostly people our age. Hopefully it'll be pretty casual and fun.

I had no idea there was such a thing as "stag and doe." It's interesting hearing what's customary for certain regions.

edit: typo

Around here when guys go to stag parties they always pay for a ticket and it includes entry into a raffle.....how has no one here heard of that? lol its normal. a bridal shower is the bride sitting there expecting gifts....aka...looking for some monetary gain in a shower sense its by gifts. thats asking for stuff isnt it??? im not having either but geez lighten up people

And on another note for those puzzled by people selling tickets to their stag or jack and jill party.....how many brides on here think they'll get wedding gifts or cash on their wedding? ya...go ahead...raise your hands, ill wait. about 90 percent of you do and you know it....thats your guests "paying" for you day.

A shower is a party thrown by another person (besides the couple) to 'shower' them with gifts to start their married life. It's completely different than any type of stag party and no, I had never heard of the concept of buying tickets to any wedding related event until I came here.

Either way you dice it, there are parties thrown before a wedding where the bride or groom is basically expecting a gift or money. lets not split hairs here, it's all the same....selling a ticket to a party in honor or sitting in a chair with your hands out expecting a gift....or going on your bachelorette weekend expecting your bm's to bring you out, pay for your fun etc....its all gimme gimme.

@Uber Dami, I'm not expecting any gifts. I we get them thats awesome. All I want is those closest to be there on my wedding day.

Showers and bachelorette/bachelor parties would be nice, but not required. Showers are also not asked for, the are given.

Pancakes these types of fundraising parties have been discussed / debated many many times on WW - and definitely within the last year. If you've been here since 2013 it's surprising that you are so confused by this.

Showers are not asked for but 90 percent of people on here expect them and if one isnt thrown they make a forum with the woe is me my bm's dont care about me i didnt get a shower. lets be realistic here lol. yes, there are some of us here very anti showers, bachelorette parties etc, just looking to get married and have a party on the wedding day....but a lot of people on here are bashing a tradition in some regions yet expecting gifts and cash on other occasions before their weddings, its the pot calling the kettle black syndrome

No, it's the pot calling the kettle tacky, rude and crass.

Celia in some areas its perfectly accepted that you buy a ticket to a jack and jill or stag party.....it goes by where you're from....think its tacky all you want, i love going to jack and jills and i dont mind paying because they're fun, laid back and not all stuck up like other wedding related gatherings

@Uber Dami - I dunno about all that. I'm not having a shower. I'm not having a bachelorette. I've specifically said that I don't want gifts for the wedding. So yeah, I think charging people to come to a party is fucking obnoxious.

I mean, hell, I can't even bring myself to have a yard sale because it feels disingenuous to take money from people for things I've deemed not good enough for me any more.

Everyones entitled to their opinion of course, but there's no need for everyone to bash something to shreds thats popular in some regions. some people do things one way, some people do it another. do what you want to do, but people sitting here saying how dare you ask for cash when they know well enough they want presents or cash for their wedding or hell, have even borrowed cash from mom or dad for their wedding need to think a bit more before they jump on the hate wagon

@PK - I just read about this on a different wedding site. It's like trying to look at the wreck on the side of the road!

http://www.weddingbee.com/2015/04/30/the-stag-and-doe/

This reminds me of the time I got invited to a rent party. lol

@purplekitten Its nothing wrong with a yard sale. I've gotten some great things at yard sales. One mans junk is another man treasure.

I love how, "it's normal here" is used to justify anything that the person advocating it wants.

I agree with Lisa. It's a regional thing. I am from MA and they are extremely popular in this area. Most couples who already have a home have a jack and kill instead of a wedding shower since they already have house stuff. People buy tickets (25 a person).

And I agree with Urber Dani!! You have no problem asking for a 200 blender but having people come to a huge jack and Jill with food, raffles, DJ, and bar for 25 dollars is wrong?? At least at a Jack and Jill people have fun. Birdal showers are so boring... There is so many times you can "" ohh... Ahhh" to more dish pans

I buy gifts for showers and give cash at weddings, but if someone were to invite me to their stag and doe or jack and jill and then still expect a gift and of cash then I wouldn't go to anything but the wedding for the free food, booze, and dancing and I wouldn't give a cent. You want to be tacky then I will be too.

I just wanted to add that I gave Celia her 6th like on her last comment because it was needed.

You don't get gifts at a Jack and Jill.... You keep acting like that 200 dollar blender is okay because you had a bridal shower. Like Urber Dani said its all the same.