Should I invite step daughter to wedding

^^^ Yasss

If the mother is in fact bat shit crazy then your FH should've fought for full custody of his daughter so that she doesn't turn out like her mom. Its more beneficial to take her to court for full custody rather than buying her a house and taking care of her whole family for years, so that this " woman" could go seek help to better take care of her children. I don't think he's the best father. Sorry

OP, my dad got remarried without inviting me. That was basically the beginning of the end. It became very clear to me that his wife was trying her hardest to pull him away from his kids, and that he was allowing it. The hurt is absolutely indescribable. Dad had a stroke last year and called when he was in the hospital crying (he never ever cries) and apologizing. He had great regret over it. Now that he is better, things are the same with us basically estranged again. If he doesn't invite his daughter I guarantee you it will destroy any chance of a relationship, you will catch part of the blame, and he will ultimately regret it. Show this girl what it means to be a warm, loving family member and invite her. Sounds like she doesn't have anyone else to learn from.

Invite the eldest daughter only. Perhaps it will be too difficult for the CM to get her to the wedding and you will luck out.

Invite the eldest daughter only. Perhaps it will be too difficult for the CM to get her to the wedding and you will luck out.

Why can't ya'll invite just the daughter? Why does the mother have to come? That's where I am confused at? Can ya'll get her for the weekend, just for the weeding? Maybe this could be the time he tries to build a better relationship with her? Teenagers are a little difficult to handle. My future step son will be at our wedding but not his mother.

I think you invite her, based on the knowledge that the relationship could be unrecoverable.

Also, since you know that she has manipulated you both, use that information in the future to prevent it from happening again.

But you still need to invite her...at least in my opinion.

Yes. Regardless she's his daughter. How would u feel if your dad didn't invite you to his wedding but invited your sister!!!!

Invite her, and remind yourself, "One snarky teen will not ruin my wedding". She may not come, she may come and be disrespectful, but, it doesn't sound, from what you've said, that she's mentally unhinged. Take pity on the poor kid with a mom like you describe. Make it clear she is still welcome in your lives.

If my FH didn't want to invite his daughter to our wedding, I wouldn't marry him.

ETA: "Why are so many people blaming the father?"

@Erin because the father doesn't want his own daughter at his wedding. That is not being a good father. It's exactly the opposite.

ETA: I agree why are so many people blaming the father. These two sound like they've obviously been through hell with this situation, and he seems like he's went above and beyond. I commend Nicole for still trying to debate whether or not she should convince him and invite the daughter, because she could have been like "screw it".

@Beatrice I'm from the islands.. not sure where Nicole or her FH or the CM is from. But for me, dibble and dabble in things means that the CM is probably into the occult. There are many people that do. I may be reading into it too far, but Nicole has giving certain hints. If I am correct, I could completely understand why the FH would go to the extend of not wanting them there. @Beatrice it happens more than you think.

I see many people asking why does the mother need to be invited. What I've gotten is that she's not invited, the question is the child or should I say young adult. I had a relative that didn't want to invite their child, because many of the members in our family knew the extend to the situation we understood. Sure enough at the last minute they went ahead and offered the invite, and at the reception the child had to be escorted out of the wedding festivities.

For those saying that "you have no say, in or own wedding whether the child comes or not" I beg to differ. It's your day too. At the end of the day, I'm sure you're not going to outline the entire situation on an online forum, so really all of our opinion are here for you to use as a guide.

Invite the daughter, but do not--I repeat--DO NOT, invite her mother. You'll probably luck out and the daughter will decide not to attend on her own, since her mother is not invited. He has an obligation to invite his daughter, but he does NOT have an obligation to invite his ex.

If you both don't want her then no but in sure she will be hurt by it. Make sure you don't regret it maybe she will outgrow her bratty stage

I would invite the child but not her mother.

My father got remarried and had the audacity to show me pictures they took the day of. The picture consisted of my father and his wife and HER two daughters, neither of his biological kids in sight and I don't even recall If we were told about it. My situation is kind of different but the same but I said all that to say, it made me feel some type of way.

"For those saying that "you have no say, in or own wedding whether the child comes or not" I beg to differ. It's your day too. "

Amy, when you marry a man, you marry his family. His family includes his daughter, regardless of what she's done. Unless she has threatened him with violence or attacked him, he should invite her. A bratty, pissed off 17-year-old vulnerable to her mother's influence? Stop the presses! This is hardly a unique situation. Being excluded from her father's wedding (especially when her sister is invited) is a sure-fire way to make sure he never has a relationship with her again.