Seriously don't care..... Help :/

If he wants the wedding, he should plan it, or at least have the lion's share of the planning on his plate IMO. I'd tell him you want to marry him, but the extra pretty fluff isn't important to you and if he doesn't get involved it may not get done. I seriously understand how you feel.

If he wants a real wedding, why don't you just tell him to plan it and you show up.

^^^ Serious suggestion.

Why don't you have a small family wedding? It seems like it would be a nice compromise.

I agree. Let him do the brunt of the planning or hire a wedding planner...

My mom and I have considered doing something small, but it seems to me even something small turns into something not so small by the wedding day. I'm just not having it. I don't want to spend a bulk amount of money for one day, and I don't see it that important.

On the other hand, I mentioned to him, "do you want to plan it??" And he laughed it off. Thinking I was joking I assumed.

Another thing, his gma is very very traditional. And I know if she doesn't get to come to a traditional wedding she will probably throw a fit or have something bad to say about it. I know if we just go to the court house a LOT of people (mainly from his side of the family, his mom is borderline crazy obsessive over certain things.. Can't stand it) will have a HUGE issue with this. So idk. I'm torn. I think it's BS that we have to consider everyone else when it's about US and its our day. Not theirs. Ahhhhhh

Considered hiring a wedding plAnner as well, and after seeing the prices for a wedding planner decided against it. Can't do It. I can't justify spending that much on someone to plan something that I don't care about...

Maybe you should get a planner. And have the planner work with your FH?

Hiring a planner is a good alternative. At the end of the day all that matters is what you and your fiance want. Not what anyone else thinks or wants. Marriage is full of compromises and this is the first big compromise you will both have to make.

I'm pretty sure FH wouldn't go for working with a wedding planner. That's what I don't get, he doesn't want to do it, And I don't want to either, but he wants a wedding. Lol. It's so dumb!

I could just let my mom do all of it, but she is already so busy. I don't want her to be overwhelmed.. And I feel like that isn't fair to put all of it on her. I'm glad I'm not the only person that gets annoyed with wedding stuff.

As soon as someone realizes you are engaged (mainly women) they get all excited and friendly and ask about the wedding date and etc etc.. I almost just want to ask them to stop talking! Haha, and girls too. My friends drive me crazy constantly asking about wedding progress.

I have a book about Real weddings and getting through them and one section is about brides who stress out so much they quit planning or have zero interest at all and they actually let their FH plan it out because THEY want one more and it ends up being beautiful! You should really ask him to do it with the help of your mother and if you have a suggestion here or there that's it.

How about you ask your FH and his mom and gma together to help plan the wedding since it's his side of the familly that wants it.

If I were you, I would plan a BBQ and invite your friends and family. Have one of your friends or family get ordained and do a quick wedding at the BBQ. What would be even better is if you didn't tell anybody you were planning on doing the ceremony then. It would be a surprise wedding! It would be like that guy who invited face book (whatever his name is) and his wife, they did the same thing.

What about a small ceremony (at your church if you attend one) or in someone's back yard with a justice of the peace followed by dinner at your favorite restaurant? Allow only your and FHs parents and grandparents and any siblings to attend. Keep it small and simple. This would be a lot less planning than a full on wedding and reception with dinner, dj, flowers, photographers, etc. Put your foot down on what you are willing to do and don't give in.

I was the same way in the beginning which is why I'm doing bare minimum. No flowers, crazy centerpieces, or huge guest lists. A small wedding sounds perfect for you! lol All you have to do is find a nice place to hold the reception and a JOP. All set! lol

Seriously, make him understand that he needs to suck it up and plan if he wants the wedding, because not only do you not want to plan it you don't even want it. It'll just get more stressful and not fun the closer you get if you're just doing what other people want. We were going to elope. DH's mom talked him into a wedding and "proper" stuff, but neither one of them even so much as helped make a phone call or give me a list of who they wanted invited. In the end we did a little JOP ceremony and dinner at a restaurant, but I still wish we'd just eloped like we planned in the beginning. Would have saved me a lot of stress and an e-mail full of vendor e-mails.

Definitely something SMALL. I'm just really hoping I can get away with only having immediate family there. If any other family finds out they aren't invited we will never be able to get it off our backs....

No way I'm letting his family plan it.. No offense to country people but his side of the family is about as red neck as you can get (not my FH) just his parents... And I would probably be wearing a camo dress. (His mom already showed me one that she thought was "perfect" for me and it was camo and white) no freaking way!!!

Kkay481, that is to funny! A camo dress!! Okay, don't let them plan it but just keep it simple. Good Luck!! :-)

I think another reason I'm so torn is because I don't want to upset any family.... It's so sucky that its more their day than it is yours. They have to get their way too, even though they don't help with a single thing. And I don't know the proper way that things are supposed to be paid for by who.. My mom offered to pay for a lot of it. But his parents haven't stepped forward at all to offer to help pay.. That bothers me as well.

SoontobemrsF -- lol thanks

I love the idea of a suprise wedding. Then they can't say anything

Invite them to an 'engagement party' which turns out to be a wedding.

I do think you should have a serious word with FH though. He shouldn't expect you to plan all of this, just because you are the bride. If your are comprimising, he's going to have to come to the table as well.