Seriously don't care..... Help :/

If you don't care about planning a wedding now, and that's a perfectly legitimate attitude, by the end of the process you will hate it, you will resent anybody or anything that pushed you in that direction. You will be extremely bitter and unhappy.

It's no joke - he wants a wedding, he plans it. He can laugh it off as much as he wants. Otherwise, organize what you want, which seems like a trip to the courthouse. Don't let yourself be bullied into organizing something you don't want.

Small destination wedding, Kkay. Invite everyone who must be invited and probably most of them will decide for themselves not to come and you won't be the bad guy.

Caroline, I did officiate a surprise wedding. The guests were invited to Christmas morning brunch. They suspected there might be an engagement announcement since the couple had been together for a while. They were quite surprised when it turned into a wedding!

Thanks guys ... Coming to the conclusion that I will have to have a serious talk with FH...

I was told destination weddings are just as stressful as planning a small wedding at home..

Kkay, planning a destination wedding might be just as stressful -- but in totally different ways and at least at the end of it you get a vacation to somewhere you pick and aren't stuck chatting with 3rd cousins (or whatever) all night.

If I had any family close by, I would have totally been down for a surprise wedding.

And yeah, not everyone likes wedding planning. I loved some parts of it and hated others and everyone has opinions that they need to keep to themselves, but for me, what we wound up with was very "us" and so worth the financial and emotional stress!

I agree its not for everyone!

I was planning a so called "traditional wedding" close to home with a guest list of a little over 100. Once I get a little further into it past selecting a venue and talking with vendors, I found its just not for me. I dont care when to send out invites at the right time, you need this and that, select a menu, and god help me decor!! NO not for me too many details.

After a few weeks of talking about it we are now doing a Vegas wedding and I am looking for package deals and making reservations at a restaurant after the ceremony, inviting close fam and friends, if they can come..great..if not OK too.

At least this way we are getting a vacation out of it and saving at least 3/4 of our initial wedding budget. I know we will be very happy in the end going this route.

DW weddings can be elaborate or very simple and can require nothing but simple choices and show up. Really its what you want and what you make of it.

Of course it is - it's still a wedding just in a different location. People usually do it if a certain place has some significance to them, or if they want to cut the guest list drastically. But a wedding is a wedding is a wedding, regardless of the location.

Think if there's a middle ground that would meet both of your needs, or look into wedding planners some more. Perhaps you will find somebody in your price range. Otherwise, have a talk with FH about what goes into it, and how you will divide work if he still wants it. Print out the WW checklist, it may help him come to his senses :-)

You sound exactly like my sister. God, I love her dearly, but we could NOT be more different. My parents planned her wedding. I would have, but I was busy planning my own which happened 4 months later.

You need a wedding planner so that all you have to do is say yes, no, or maybe LOL

Push it back on him-- "I want this, now you make it happen" is a bad precedence to set in your married life! Plus, it's your day, too-- you don't want to be hating every minute of your wedding, thinking, "I *knew* I wanted a small wedding!"

After reading your post, I could not be more relieved. I feel the same way planning my wedding. I thought the apathy would go away closer to the wedding, but I have 4 months left and feel the same way. I, too, have talked to my fiance, who is supportive of doing it either way (elope or wedding), but we are both so close to many family and friends that it would hard to get away with.

I have decided just to take a different outlook on it ( which at times helps... other times, not so much ). I have decided to look at it as a time to honor those who have been there for me and my fiance during hard times. Yes, this is a celebration for me and him, but I also need to honor those who help us get to this special day. We were together for six years before engagement, so we have quite an extensive list of little helpers

I hope this perspective helps you on those days where it doesn't seem worth it.

And thank you for your honesty! It helped me not feel so alone.

With a small destination wedding, you don't need to plan a reception -- just dinner at a nice restaurant.

For a beach wedding ceremony, you don't even need to plan decor -- nature is beautiful.

Just figure out a way to get here (plane, train, automobile) and make a reservation at a motel.

I make recommendations all the time for flowers, photos, restaurants, etc.

I dont blame you, it is a ton of work and stressful and tiring and it gets old lol. And you have a long time before your date! I would honestly just pay for the planner, tell her your budget (including what you are spending on the planner) and let them make it happen- you dont have to be involved and it would be worth those prices if you did it that way! If you trust your mom or FH, have them be the point of contact for the planner.

I wasn’t too anxious about the planning in the beginning. I wanted something small. And you nailed it when you said something small turns into something not so small. That is definitely the situation I am in… the wedding gets bigger and more complex it seems every day. But I have to admit that since I’ve started planning I’ve enjoyed it more. I’m still pretty lax about the entire wedding though. My bridesmaids and family tell me I need to be more aggressive but that’s just not me. I think if you keep it small and simple, and try your hardest, it will work out. You won’t piss anyone off and you’ll have a day for you and FH to remember. Why don’t you start with a budget and guest list and go from there. Decide on an amount and head count you’re comfortable with. Sorry you and FH aren’t seeing eye to eye, it will work out!

If he wants a big wedding and you don't, he should plan it. If he doesn't want to plan it, he doesn't get what he wants. It's as simple as that.

If you don't care about the wedding and if its so important to fh and his family, then why do you care how the wedding turns out? If you don't want certain things there, veto the idea and move on. You can pick your own dress. Its clearly for fh and his family's enjoyment, since you don't care, just let them do it and show up. If you don't want them to plan it, then you might not have much choice but to get involved in the planning.

Where are you located? Most likely you could find a place that has a package that is very complete and not too pricey. At least that will take care of most of the work for you!

I've known a number of people that went to Gatlinburg TN for example because they have a ton of nice very packagey kind of wedding places up there.

I live in Waco, Tx.

Was looking for planners for a while yesterday And didnt find much in my area...

OK a couple of questions.

1. Is moving the wedding to another state and having a wedding/honey moon possible?

2. Do you have any preference about getting married in a church?

I don't think it would be a good idea to have it in a different state... Nobody would be able to come... And I don't want it in a church