Sending Save the Dates to the B List Guest?

No! You can't send a STD to someone you are not sure you will be inviting!

No no no! Everyone on WW will tell you the B List is rude (I'll prolly do one though too). But you do NOT send them a Save The Date...don't send them anything. Dont mention anything. Just ignore it around B List people.

Sending people an STD is the equivalent of saying "We want you to be at our wedding...you'll get an invitation, but here's something so you remember to keep the day free."

I agree. Shouldn't be sent to the B list just incase you can't invite them

Yea I think that would b a lil awkward when u run into 1 or some of ur "B" list guests that didn't quite make the cut... how do u explain that? I'd say that's a definite NO.

No, please don't....We have a friend who was having a small wedding (50 people) she said to me that FH and I were on the B list - We were shocked that she said that directly to us....I rather not be invited to be quite honest. That was an insult...

What makes someone a "B" list guest? I am so confused.

No. No. No. No. 1) B lists are rude 2) if you are already decided on doing that I won't waste my time telling you why it is rude 3) anyone you send a save the date to must get an invite. 4) good luck on getting exactly 150 people to meet your min but not 1 guest more that you can't afford.

MrsPope means that you want them there but you have other people that you really want...so if those people you really want there don't rsvp THEN you can invite the people on the B list....yeah super fucking rude!

@FutureMrsPereira Seriously? The nerve of people!!!

To Us, a B list is people we want to invited but not sure if we can right away. I have a huge family and since our limit is 150 my family takes up about 100 guests. I know that some are not able to come but we still have to invite them.

Anyone that gets a save the dates gets an invite. The whole point is to let someone know the date early on so they can take time off, book travel, etc. it would be awful to do that and then find out you didn't make the cut.

My fh and I sent std to a smaller list than will be invited because there are a few people we are unsure about. For example he just changed jobs and isn't sure if he will still invite people from the old job. We just sent the stds to people we know we will be inviting.

Going to keep my mouth shut lol.

@Sabrina Are you inviting every single person in your family?

Unless your having a destination wedding or having a ton out of town guests, save the dates aren't even necessary. Just don't send them at all.

Controversy of b-listing people aside, you shouldn't send a STD to someone you're not 100% certain will get an invite. Imagine how you would feel if you got a save the date, but then didn't get an actual invite. Only send a save the date to those you are absolutely positive will be getting an invite.

@MrsPope, Yes. I know some wouldn't be able to make it but we are very close and i couldn't imagine not inviting them. Just on my mom's side, I have 11 aunts, 3 uncles, 30 1st cousins and 10 second cousins.

STD only gets sent to someone who gets invited! So if you are doing a B list, do not send them a STD.

We are not trying to be rude at all. But this is what we decided that would work best for OUR Wedding. If you don't agree with it then please don't comment that it's rude or I'm rude, just hit the back button and move on.

I'm trying to ask for opinions on how to handle the situation. Please remember no one is perfect and to not judge others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think a B list is rude, but you shouldn't send a Save the Date to them until you know you will have room for them. You don't want them taking the day off, spending money on attire and a gift, only for them not to get invited after all. The B-List should never know they are on it to protect feelings as some people will get offended they didn't make the first cut.

My venue can hold no more than 150. So, most of the list consists of family. If say, 10% decline, then I'm moving on to my B-List, which consists of college friends and work colleagues.

Sabrina, I think you got some good advice here! I agree with pp, don't send a STD to someone you are not 100% sure you will be inviting.