Ridiculous Dollar Dance Drama

Pumpkin, a compromise offer for your FH if he really wants to do a dollar dance. You can make the money received as a donation to a favorite charity. Had one bride, who was a leukemia survivor donate the dollar dance money to Children's Hospital oncology, where she was treated. She collected over $1000 (it was pretty upscale crowd though) If it is not just about the money, but a family tradition, it gives you some one on one time with your guests, but for a good cause.

Or you could just tip the DJ. (JOKE).

I agree people should have one on one time with you whether you have a dollar dance or not. You should take the time to greet all your guests. "I was at your wedding but I didn't get a chance to speak to you". How does that work?

One other thing to consider. Even with a great DJ keeping things upbeat, I find that more often than not when doing a money dance, it sucks all the momentum out of what was a rocking party up to that point. Those that aren't dancing are often extremely bored, and sometimes use it as an excuse to slip out quietly.

So can anyone explain to me what a money tree is????

Didn't read earlier posts.....but here is my opinion: A lot of people do dollar dances. But for me personally, I didn't like the idea. Mostly because I didn't want to dance with everyone at my wedding, that would have made me uncomfortable. I think it is a traditional thing, it is not begging for money.

I am definetly having this dance lol. I love to dance, and there is no way there are going to be people sitting down at my wedding! I dont know why people are considering it tacky? Its another way to have fun and get the crowd moving. I have been to weddings were the crowd is just sitting down watching everyone else have a good time. This is a good way to get people involved. If you aren't doing this then at least provide other entertainment for your guests.

I didn't read through all the replies but what if you do the dollar dance but donate the money to a charity of your choice? Just a thought so that people don't think you're in need of money if that's the case.

IMHO I think this is a really fun thing to do, I dont look at it as how you said, thanks for coming to my wedding, now give me money or whatever..I look at it as a chance for family to dance with us, that may not get to in the course of the evening. I think sometimes you need to sacrifice things for your fh.

I agree with you that it is tacky and appears to be a way of begging for money. However it is a traditional thing in some cultures. I'm with ladylee. Let his folks pin it on him.

Honestly without the money dance I would not have had a chance to dance with all the people I did or even talk to them. Some of my favorite pictures the don't involve hubby and I together are from the money dance. I look at it this way if your family doesn't want to participate then they don't have to but you shouldn't deny your hubby something that is tradition for his family. I can not think of a wedding where they didn't have it. I would have been very VERY upset if my hubby wouldn't have let us do it as it is a tradition in our family and I never would have got to see him dance with my biggest big bro (so funny!)

I only got halfway through the posts so I'm sorry if my idea has already been suggested. I was thinking, if it isn't about the money maybe you could donate all (or a portion) of the money to a charity of your choice?

I'm actually in the same boat! My FH is Hispanic, and I am as white as morning snow. It's a tradition in his family, but I think it's kind of tacky, so we compromised. We will both participate in the "Dollar dance" but instead call it a "Wishes Dance" or something to that effect. People will pin good wishes to us and if that may include cash, great, if it's just high hopes for our future, awesome. It's a great alternative I think, and a way for everyone to get to dance with us!

Sachele: that is a hilarious pic lol

i like bongo's idea--rename it the "wishes dance"!

i also think talking it over with both sets of parents, especially with your fh in the room will help alleviate stress over this and see what page everyone is on! who knows? maybe something good will come out of this--better cultural understanding, family dynamics, more open lines of communication, and practice in compromise!

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good luck!

if i had to do it, i would get the dj to explain the custom and maybe put it in the program or reception itinerary with an explanation basing it on the cultural custom etc....i also would make the fh do it too!!! and i would rather have a purse than being pinned, of course....oh dear.

Just sit down with your family and explain to them that although its not a tradition in your family, it is a part of your soon to be's culture. Tell them that he hasnt asked for anything except the dollar dance and that it would offend him and his family not to have it. It is his wedding too after all.

A money tree is basically the same as the dollar dance. the only difference is instead of them pinning dollars on you for dancing, the guest pin dollars on the dollar tree. you need to know that you can trust everyone at your wedding though because it is very easy for someone to take your money off of the tree while everyone else is having fun!

I don't see any problem with doing the dollar dance. Admit it, a wedding is really for the bride's benefit; generally, guys don't really care how they get married, as long as they do. So when the groom requests for something, it's usually something special for him, otherwise he couldn't care less. Do the dollar dance since he considers it a "must"; remember that it's his wedding too and he should have a say in it.

If you're highly uncomfortable with dancing with other people, try this alternative: in the Philippines, couples just dance with each other while guests pin money on them while they watch. If you're uncomfortable about the money thing, ask the host to explain the tradition before the dance. It's not a way of begging for money, it's just tradition.

Try not to think of it negatively and try not to think about what other people will say. It's not their wedding it's yours. Yours and your husband's, I mean.

I'd suggest looking at it from a different perspective.

I've seen many weddings where the bride & groom don't have enough time to do table visits and see all of their guests as things can get busy.

I usually just call it the "Bride & Groom" dance instead of money dance as it's a chance for all your guests to hug you, congratulate you and leave feeling like they connected with you. Make sure the DJ stresses that money is optional so people feel like everyone is welcome to come dance with you in case they don't have cash. I even make a little joke about being able to Paypal you later to ease the tension.

I myself was at a wedding where I didn't know hardly anyone except my friend (The groom) and left feeling a little empty because I never really got a chance to talk with him so this type of think can be turned into a nice touch if done well by your DJ.

Good luck!

I am in favor of the dollar dance and WILL be having it at our wedding. However NO ONE will be pinning anything onto me. Our Matron of Honor and Best Man will stand at the beginning of the line with a basket.

I also view this as a way for you to personally be able to dance with your guests and to say "hi" and "thank you" and small talk... since you will be so busy during the rest of the reception it is a nice way to take a little time out for your guests.

Any whats the harm in making a few bucks???

FH has no idea when it comes to weddings, as he's been to 3 or 4 in his lifetime.

Wow a basket to make a few bucks. I'll say no more.

As Scottish mentioned above... it can drain the energy and many will "slip out" early during this time. I suggest doing it early before the "party" starts to rock, and make each dance VERY fast (only 15 seconds), otherwise, it takes tooooo longggg.

You're DJ should be calling out "switch dancers" or something to that effect. An alternative is to have the best man or MOH calling out the switch. Anything longer than 15 minutes is a bore, and a drain on the party.