Ridiculous Dollar Dance Drama

Pumpkin, I would love to know if you have dicussed this any further with your FH and/or if you have already came to a decission about this?

@Leti: Honestly, I'm still collecting my thoughts on the subject. I want to be completely armed with information on both sides of the issue before going into it with my ex-Debate Team star fiance. haha I have asked around on a couple of other wedding websites and it seems the sides are pretty evenly divided. I still don't feel comfortable with the idea, but I do want him to connect with something (anything!) in the wedding planning process. Thus far I have made all the decisions and he just says, "Yeah, that sounds good!" Anyway, I plan on bringing it up this weekend and we'll see what happens. At this point I'm thinking, if he still insists, we could ask guests to either donate to charity (either breast cancer awareness or our local exotic zoo that is failing) or leave us a wish/advice. I'm still not comfortable with the dancing, even if it is with relatives. We are making a point to spend time with each person there, even if it's only a few minutes so the (CONTINUED)

Dollar Dance won't affect that too much (unless it takes up so much time that we have to sacrifice one-on-one time with other guests). Fiance has agreed that going from table to table thanking people for coming and doling out hugs and kisses is of the utmost importance (as we've both been to weddings where the bride and groom later asked if we were even there). Both families are likely to be offended no matter what we do -- my family will be judgmental and his family will complain that we didn't do the dance long enough or that we didn't take the money for ourselves. Since my family may not even dance, I definitely do NOT want to bog the party down and kill it before it's time to go. I suppose, Leti, that the basic answer here is "I have no freaking idea." But as soon as we come to a conclusion I will post it here.

By the way, just to add to the discussion itself, a girl on one of the other wedding boards refered to the Dollar Dance as the groom "pimping out" his new wife. lol

Some people can see it as kinda tacky but my brother had one at his wedding and it was a huge hit... It gave everyone a chance to talk to the bride and groom... something that they might not have gotten to do otherwise and the kids loved it!

That is completely uncalled for to refer to a person's tradition as "pimping out"! I understand that it is not a tradition to you but is for me and several other ladies on here. I am not trying to cause a fight or tension but just bringing to your attention that one shouldn't use such an offensive comparison. I understand saying you don't like it and saying that you feel it is tacky but for me that went too far. And besides the groom is right up there dancing as well.

And JJ thank you it is one of my favorite pictures!

Oh my! While I do agree that diplomacy left the building quite a few times during this discussion, I don't see any rason to attack Pumpkin about the "pimpin out" comment. She was only relaying what was said on another website where she posted the same discussion.

Rather than doing a dollar dance, why not set up a honeymoon registry? Your friends and family will still be able to help pay for your honeymoon, and you won't have to endure the dreaded dollar dance.

My FH and I have an agreement: If we come to a point where we don't agree on something then the first thing we do is try to see who it would effect more and that person wins the argument.

If it turns out that we both feel very strongly about something we disagree on, we say that the person who says "no" wins. You are far less likely to look back and remember something that wasn't there.

I think that money dances at a wedding are in very poor taste. At the end of the day you are telling guests that they are only worth your time if they pay for it.

If the money dance means so much to your FH's family, tell them that they are more than welcome to slip a donation to you privately while you are socialising with them. That way they get the pride of knowing they were able to do that for you but you don't have to sacrifice your hospitality for them to do it.

Side note, it's just as rude for people to judge someone as snobs for not doing the dollar dance as it is to judge those who do as tacky.