Ridiculous Dollar Dance Drama

I agree with dhaddan it's not a asking for donations type thing I'm not sure why your family thinks it's like that. It's about getting a chance to see everyone who came to see you on your special day and the money is just a little gift from your guest to you.

Although i'm generally against this, fh, mom and grandma, have said exactly what heather has said...they don't HAVE to give you money...my mom mentioned a money tree, but that leaves kids trying to get into it so i guess we are having it...not just that, and i know this won't come out right, but i know i've had times where i didn't have time to buy a gift, or just couldn't afford one after going to the wedding, and the "dollar dance" works perfectly, because then, it's ok to just give them $5-$20, and that's not an amount i'd have put into a card...so when my mom also mentioned it like that, since we're having a destination wedding, it really made sense...once our guests drive anywhere from 1.5hrs, to 7hrs(or a few, from the east coast), it's nice for them to be able to give something, without feeling it wasn't enough...plus, they get a special dance out of it, that they may not have gotten otherwise we think, we'll end up doing 3 songs, and that should work fine...???

Ok...at first I thought that it was a game that I'm use to having in our weddings. The game goes... that both the groom and bride stand on opposite sides ofthe reception and as the money is donatedunto them they talke a step towards eachother. Which at the end they get to kiss eachother, or do the dance. But I dont like the idea of having money given to dance with someone else... If he wants it then.. maybe you can work something out in which is the only one doing it ... maybe create a game... mix it up a bit. But if its for the money then you can do the game instead. You get laughs out of it and people running trying to have the bride or the groom win. Therefore you are both happy. About the pinning the money on your dress, Ive also seen that instead of doing this the people search for areas to just locate the money. Like in between the hair, on the strap of the dress and so on...

I too like the idea of the dollar dance and I have been to many weddings where there has been one. Is the only reason you don't want to do it b/c of your family? If so I agree with others that maybe you and your FH should sit down and discuss it with your parents. Tell them about the tradition and why it's really done. That's it's not just you guys "begging for money" but a way for you to spend a little bit of one-on-one time with all the guests that wish to dance with you. I also like the idea of doing wishing well cards for those that don't want to give money. Also if you are having a DJ when they announce the dance you can have them maybe give a short background on it or explain why you are choosing to do it i.e. to get to see each guest one-on-one. Regardless what you choose to do it's YOUR wedding and you do it the way YOU want and you shouldn't care what people have to say as long as you and your FH are enjoying your day b/c that's what it's really all about.

In some cultures this is a traditional dance also called the money dance... see this link for an explanation:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money_dance

The Dollar Dance is also a tradition in my FH's fam. No one on my side has ever heard of it though, so a little explaining will have to go down. I've seen weddings in the Midwest where the MOH and BM stand next to the bride and groom with hats or bags or whatever to collect and to help move the line along.

I think you have every right to say no we are not having the money dance. Either you will have to stand up there by yourself or at the very least join your husband up there and if you are not comfortable then he is the one that needs to get over it. I think your family is correct. Money dances are very tacky. Your guests at this point have already bought you a shower gift, they have brought you a wedding gift and now you are going to say hey, your gifts are not enough I want more. Now please give me cash. Your guests are not responsible for paying for your honeymoon or starting your life for you. And you certainly shouldn't charge your guests to dance with you or spend time with you. I suppose if its a cultural thing then you might have to give in but culture and tradition are not the same thing. Just because everyone else in his family before him begged for money doesn't mean you have to.

If you have a great DJ, your dollar dance will pay dividends. The DJ is the one that energizes the crowd and keeps it moving. It isn't uncommon for people to net well over $1k from the dollar dance. Some people will make a mockery of it, and tie a dollar bill up as tight as humanly possible so you can't get it open again, and others will have the $20's freely flowing, I've seen $100's come out as well.

As someone else said, it is a great opportunity to have a few seconds with everyone in the crowd without having to crowd surf. People who don't normally dance will get up and participate in the dollar dance.

I'm with you Pumpkin i hate the dollar dance i think its tacky and out of date i didn't do it at my wedding. but i think that having your hubby do it instead if his family wants it sooo badly isn't a bad idea b/c it spears you and makes them happy. i still don't get how it could pay for your honeymoon unless they are giving out 20 and 50 but i guess you will just have to see if you make him do it

I like Carmen's idea of maybe having people write good wishes and pin them on you instead of $. I compromised a lot on some things re: my wedding, but I am a firm believer in not doing any ACTIVITY you don't want to do on your wedding day.

I wish people would practice just a little bit of diplomacy. That is all...

Whatever you guys choose is fine, but we're doing a dollar dance and a money tree. Both because we have family that we KNOW would be way too shy to do the dance! On the tree though we're going to try and find a way to put little envelopes on the tree so Aunt Sally's $5 doesn't look cheap next to someone's $50. (Trust me I have family like this, its always a competition)

We are spending a lot of $$ on our wedding with our own $$ so that last thing we would do is look like we are begging for a few hundred dollars because thats about all you will make and look tacky doing it.

I'm torn between doing the dollar dance too. Most people in my family do it when they get married, but I personally think it's expensive enough to be a wedding guest (gift, travel, hotel, possibly drinks...). Making guests feel like they have to give even more money during the dollar dance might be asking too much. And my family never does the "pin the money on the bride and groom" thing, they have the MOH and Best Man stand near the bride and groom and collect the cash in a hat or bag or something.

What ever happened to putting a check inside a card and sticking it in the card box? lol

I agree with a lot of the PP. In both my husbands and my family, the dollar dance is a common thing; however, in the beinning of our planning, I didn't want to do one. I've participating in them before and never thought of them as being tacky or rude, but for some reason when it came to our wedding, I didn't want to be tacky or rude. Then, my family said I should do it. They all agreed that it's "tradition" and it helps out the bride & groom with some extra cash. So we had one & like always, it was a great time. I think it's all up to you and your FH. Yes, consider what your family & others might think but also take in how your FH feels about it. It's his and your wedding. Like someone else said, have the DJ or a family member announce the dollar dance before it begins as a tradition that you would like to continue and who ever would like to participate in offering the bride & groom some extra honeymoon cash, you are welcome to join. Who ever is offended does not have to participate.

Also, I've never seen the money pinned on either bride or groom. My family has always had the maid of honor and bestman stand at seperate ends of the dance floor. Whoever wants to dance with the bride will begin a line with the maid of honor and she will collect and hold the cash (in hand or a nice bag). The bestman will do the same for the groom. Good luck with your decision!

Pumpkin, if you really feel that strongly about it then talk to your FH and let him know how you feel. But in all reality most of the wedding choices come from the bride. Just remember it is his wedding too. Everyone thinks something is "tacky" so that word should not dictate what you do or do not do at your wedding. Do what will make you both happy. Good luck.

I am doing a dollar dance. I had seen it at another wedding it was fun. It's just a way to get that one on one time with guests if they want it and to earn extra money for your honeymoon.

"It's just a way to get that one on one time with guests if they want it"

The way I look at it if you want one on one time with your guests they will come up to the bride and groom, you go talk to them, dance together, have a drink together, etc. They shouldn't have to pay to have one on one time with you. Just my humble opinion.