Restaurant after a courthouse wedding???

It's fine not to be able to afford to feed 10 people.

If I had two little ones to worry about, I might not have it in my budget either.

That's fine. But if you can't afford to feed them, then don't invite them.

Go with your FH/DH, get married, send out a text that says, "good news everyone, paperwork is all squared away now!"

No one was rude at all, especially considering you didn't really give us the whole story.

If you're just doing paperwork, there is really no need for this, though I don't get that situation either. I've had licenses get completely messed up (no, not by me), there is a correction, people resign it and you're on your way. There really isn't a reason to redo a 'party'.

It doesn't change that you're asking people to pay for their own meal as a thank you after being there at your wedding.

Let's be clear: a wedding is when you get married. If you weren't married at the prior party, for whatever reason, it wasn't actually a wedding. This will be your actual wedding. You are still obligated to provide the thank you to your guests. Period. Or you can go and get it done without the fanfare, just you and your FH.

You're asking people to take time off work and out of their lives AGAIN. The least you can do is provide a meal.

As for the kid issue, I have a son with cerebral palsy. He's in a wheelchair and requires a LOT of doctor's care between surgeries, pt, and other therapies. We're STILL paying for our own wedding. I understand how expensive kids are, but you shouldn't use them as an excuse to mistreat others, either.

Well that changes everything.

Stop having parties you can't afford.

Skip the dinner. You already had a wedding. Just get the paperwork done and continue on in your married life.

@Fall Bride, you shouldn't refer to gifts at all. That sounds presumptuous.

I would be so offended if I was invited to someone's wedding, even if it was my sister, and I was expected to pay for my own drinks and meal.

If you invited someone over to dinner, would you expect them to cut you a check for their meal and drinks or bring their own food and bev to eat w/ you? I don't understand the logic at all.

WTF did I just walk into???

Angel - it sounds like you need to skip all this since you're already MARRIED and focus on your family, especially since you have a child with medical issues AND you're already saying money is "super tight."

Get your priorities in order!

I'm agree with some of the other posts that have suggested maybe a cake and punch reception. Hopefully u can afford something simple like that. I have gone to a wedding inside a church and when it was over the guests went to the basement for cheese/crackers and fruit trays and light pasta salads. Two different kinds I believe. So it was still relatively affordable even though it wasn't a "traditional" reception. But honestly u shouldn't invite people if u can't afford to feed them SOMETHING afterward. IMHO.

So much ew in this thread. You're obviously not listening to advice on how to not be a terrible host, so I'm not going to type it out again for you.

Yea you're right, your guests should pay for their meals since you missed out on the legality part of your first wedding

Just so I'm catching up on page 3 of comments. You're already married and are just doing this due to a paperwork snafu? My advice would be to have the courthouse ceremony and then go out for a nice meal with you and your two witnesses. Dinner for 4 should be easier to afford.

You cannot INVITE people to AN EVENT IN YOUR HONOR and then NOT PAY FOR THEM. (and yes, I am shouting).

Wait...you already had pre-wedding parties and a wedding...with guests? So, this is all to fix a paperwork error? You sent out formal invitations and had people clear their schedule for this? The lunch issue aside, I can't wrap my head around why you're doing this with a crowd in the first place (even a tiny crowd). It's more like, "Hey, you have to take a half a day next week so that we can go clear up that license issue." Bottom line, you can't afford it, you already had your wedding, and it's more than a little odd.

And I second the other posters. It doesn't matter what kind of wedding you're inviting people to attend, feed them (and what's up with charging guests for a meal after they've paid for airfare and lodging to attend a DW? This isn't even wedding etiquette stuff -- it's common sense and manners stuff. Simple concept, but some refuse to understand. So be it.),

Please don't listen to E for Eloping. She is just trying to justify her own bad etiquette. I had a small, non traditional DW too but I still took care of my guests. We hosted dinner at a restaurant. We also paid for drinks based on consumption.

When it came time to order drinks, I heard a couple of my friends asking the server about drink prices. I realized they thought they had to pay for their own drinks, and I had to jump in and let them know that they should order whatever they want and that it was taken care of. I was mortified that I somehow dropped the ball on conveying that info ahead of time and that my guests would think they needed to pay for anything. I can't even imagine telling them they needed to pay for their own meal to celebrate with me!

Why don't you just push back the day so you can save up for it?

Is it possible to due a small brunch/lunch at your house? Panera and Subway Cater (i work with 13 women and we have order platters from Panera a few times) and serve drinks.

If you can't afford the restaurant, skip it. Host everyone at your house afterwards. You can pick up a few deli trays at Walmart, a sheet cake, and soda/beer/wine for less than $100. Or grill burgers for everyone. If that's still out of the budget, cake and punch can be done for $20 (less if you're willing to make the cake yourself).

There are numerous ways to do this without making your guests pay. I also agree with others on this thread that if this is truly just a paperwork issue, why have guests? If you already had a wedding, and now find that you're not legally married, just clear it up and move on.

Don't blame your children for your cheap decision.

Besides, you already had the wedding, you're clarifying paperwork.

Fuck, take them all to McDonalds. The dollar menu should be sufficient.

Edit: spellng.

I still haven't figured out why the OP thinks this warrants a celebration. I wouldn't have told anyone about this until after the paperwork was fixed.

I'm also confused as to why the OP is waiting a month and a half to do something that could be done a lot sooner. Are we getting the full story here?