Restaurant after a courthouse wedding???

I have a friend who is getting married next week, she's not paying for the reception either, in her wedding invitation she put that its a cash reception, meaning they bring their own cash for their food she included what that 30$ included.

You really should host the dinner afterwards, since you are inviting your guests as a thank you for sharing your ceremony with you. Can you explore some different restaurants, and even ask about a limited menu that would keep costs down?

No, it would be extremely rude to invite them to celebrate your wedding and make them pay for themselves.

Look online to see the "polite" wordage. Say that is your wedding gift. Or ask for gift certs to the restaurant.

Is there no where that will do a set two or three course menu for you? I have worked in restaurants years. Often we would do set menus but not advertise them. Call a few restaurants tell them what you are doing and ask if they could do a set menu for you. If you can at all it would be better if you could pay for your guests dinner.

What? No. You can't have your wedding "guests" pay for their own dinner. The reception (dinner) after,is your way of thanking everyone for coming to the ceremony. It's also really rude to mention gifts in any way on the invitation or otherwise. This is simply a very bad idea from an etiquette perspective.

You need a completely different plan.

Either go out to a restaurant and pay for your guests or don't do out afterwards.

You should be hosting them if you can. Otherwise, just you and your fiancé should go to the courthouse and be done with it. I would call around to restaurants and see what someone might be able to do for you. Also, can you wait a few months and save so you can afford to host everyone?

No, it's not okay to ask people to pay for themselves. If you ask them to come witness your wedding, you HAVE to host them afterwards. It's a thank you for coming to the ceremony. If you can't afford to host 10 people for dinner, then don't invite them to the wedding.

Yeah, not okay to have them pay. Even this is a bad idea BUT if you truly can't afford it either skip it altogether or have them over your house for a potluck or you just cook for them.

@koriander that is so bad! That $30 would be my wedding "gift" just on principle

OP, is there a reason you're choosing to have the wedding so soon? If you're inviting people to witness your marriage (whether it be at a courthouse, on a beach, or in a church), you should host them for a reception afterwards. You're asking them to take time out of their day, perhaps schedule time from work, and witness a profound moment in your life. My advice comes in three forms:

1) Have the ceremony with no family - just you and your FH at the courthouse

2) See #1 and plan for a vow renewal in a year's time (or 5 year's time) with a full reception

3) Postpone the wedding until you can save enough to take everyone out to celebrate afterwards

Absolutely not okay. You are inviting someone to celebrate your marriage with you; the dinner afterwards is so you can thank them for being there to support you. You do not ask them to pay for their meals. Be a good host and if you can't do that, either make it just you two or wait and save.

Yeah no. You need to pay.

If budget is a concern and you won't postpone, you could have a courthouse ceremony at 2pm followed by a cake and punch reception that you pay for as long as the reception ends before dinner time.

FH was hired as a photographer for a friend of ours last summer. The couple got married at a city gazebo, there were no more than 20 guests (including the couple and my FH), and the "reception" was a nice family-style meal at a little Italian restaurant. The newlyweds' parents paid I believe.

This is absolutely not ok, especially if you sent out formal invites.

If you invite, then you pay. With a new baby it's completely understandable that you don't have the money, but the solution in that case is to not invite anyone.

I think the bride and groom should still pay for the meals no matter where it is. Honestly if you really want a meal celebration afterwards but on the cheap go to a nice pizza restaurant or something it doesn't have to be a swanky restaurant. Or not have a meal celebration until a little later when you are able to host your guests.

PIPING IN FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS DONE THIS:

We didn't ask for presents, and we didn't register, AND we absolutely did not force anyone to come to our destination elopement. We invited parents only (and a grandparent) out of courtesy and left it to them on whether they wanted to come. They all did, which was wonderful.

We did hand out "thank you for flying all this way" goodie bags chock full of really nice travel items. It wasn't necessary, but I felt it was something special I wanted to do. Everyone was shocked and said they didn't expect it.

We did NOT pay for everyone's meals after, either. It is NOT tacky. I asked everyone ahead of time if they wanted to do dinner late at night with us on the day of. I offered to pay, everyone said no. NO ONE expected it, just like the gift bags. Everyone was amazing and kind.

An unconventional wedding with NO REAL RECEPTION is zero obligation to pay for anyone else and it's a non-traditional wedding.

DO NOT worry about the nae say advice here because 99% of brides are planning a more traditional wedding with full reception and are in that mindset completely which is totally OK, but not what you're doing. A lot may even try to guilt trip you in to feeling like what you're doing isn't a real wedding and "strange" or "why is it secret?" A lot of times elopement or courthouse weddings are vastly misunderstood on this forum. Take the good, don't worry about the oddball comments.

Worse case scenario- ask your family directly what they think. I did, it turned out perfectly and everyone was kind and warm. No one expects you to shell out $1,000 when you're going to a courthouse for a reason. Whatever that reason is is valid enough and you do you!