Restaurant after a courthouse wedding???

Not at all okay.

I'm inviting 12 people over to our home, one of them is officiating. Afterwards we're going to a restaurant where my FH and I will pick up the tab completely. We've got $1500 budgeted. And we are also not expecting gifts (why would you expect gifts? it's only a dinner?).

You are asking them to dinner to celebrate your wedding. You pay.

ETA: "No one expects you to shell out $1,000 when you're going to a courthouse for a reason. "

I and FH have had family members get married at the courthouse and, to clarify, it wasn't because they couldn't afford a "wedding". They're just casual as fuck. (re: my very well off brother did it on his lunch break and then went back to work.)

Also, OP, we chose the restaurant. I looked at the menu and averaged the price of every entree and the average price of every drink on it. You can figure out how much money you'll need so you can figure out how you will pay for it.

To me it doesn't matter how you are getting married...in a courthouse, in a park, in a church. If you are having some sort of event that will be serving food and beverage afterwards, you should pay. Like a previous poster mentioned, is there a way to only have cake and beverage after the wedding as a celebration? I would assume that would be relatively cost effective.

Hi Angel. Welcome to WeddingWire.

To answer your question, from an etiquette standpoint, it's really not okay to invite people to dinner to celebrate and then not pay for their meals. The group of people you're inviting may even be okay with it, but there's a pretty good chance they'll think it's rude, whether they say so or not.

Luckily, you have a very small group to work with. You can probably treat them to a nice meal for $200-300. I know that when you don't have it, that might as well be $****, but maybe we can help you figure out how to come up with that money.

Do you have any extra items sitting around that you could sell in a yard sale or online? Do you have any friends you could babysit for a few times to earn some extra cash? Is it possible for either of you to pick up a temporary part-time job delivering pizzas or something to just bring in some extra cash in a hurry?

No, if they want alcohol then yes they can pay for that, but at least pay for their meals. thats what we are doing. At the place we are going to the limited menu is a flat $11 a person including their drink.

No, it's not okay. A reception, even just going out to dinner after a courthouse wedding, is your way of thanking people for being there. Expecting someone to pay for their own thank you, in addition to getting a gift (which they probably will,) is just gross.

It's a wedding celebration. You pay for ALL of it. Don't give me an $11 meal and then tell me a beer is on me.

Honestly, I would not do it. You really should over the cost of the celebration; even with no gifts.

Now, if everyone coming is immediate family who all live within 30min and you see them all the time, MAYBE. But anyone out of town, traveling far should not have to go through that.

I cannot imagine how expensive a restaurant reception could be given your guest count. You can probably get it all done within $1,000 if you cut out a fancy photographer, wedding dress, etc etc

E for Eloping: I think that's even more gross. You made people travel if they wanted to see you get married (meaning you were willing to shell out money for a trip,) yet you couldn't even be bothered to buy them dinner.

Op, if you're having guests at your wedding, you are obligated to have a reception of some sort, even if it's just cake and punch, AT YOUR EXPENSE. Not doing so is incredibly rude.

VC everyone who's coming to mine is local. Like less than 20 mins away from me. We hang out constantly. I'm STILL picking up the tab. I think it's ridiculous not to!

@BoozyBaker - Haha I was trying to be nice to the OP and thinking how close they are but in reality yes I would never have them fork over their own meal.

Paying for 10 ppl cannot cost that much.

It's not okay. You pay for their meals, whether you expect gifts or not. Just because someone else did it does not make it right. This is what makes "Eloping" seem like no damn fun.

Skip the courthouse, have the ceremony at the restaurant in the late morning or afternoon and treat them to a simple meal and a glass of wine.

(Or take two witnesses to the courthouse, go for coffee and call it a day.)

No one on this forum 'misunderstands' weddings like this. They just tend to 'misunderstand' not treating guests well, even marginally well. Not all of them are doing giant expensive weddings; in fact, I advocate for smaller, less extravagant weddings all the time. Don't suggest ignoring the advice here either; it's great advice MOST of the time.

Some of my absolute favorite weddings have been my tiny teeny ones (like less than 20). If you do a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday afternoon, most restaurants will be happy to have you, and make a menu for you because, NEWSFLASH it is easier and cheaper for them to serve a group a single dish than to take custom orders.

But please, please, do not make your family pay to come to your wedding. It's tacky and weird, no matter who has done it before.

Commented before, but just wanted to add something.

You specifically want people to be able to "request time off" and "clear schedules." That's a big thing they are doing for you. Perhaps losing income, forgoing other plans, just to see you get married. The least you could do is buy them a slice of pizza or a sandwich if that's all you can afford.

Well you're not invited boozybaker lol

Trying to get creative here. I'm thinking how some major advice on here is to have a wedding during non-meal time, what if you do this with your elopement and take everyone out to ice cream?

May be stretching things, but just an idea I had.

***Note: We have already thrown several pre wedding parties for our guest including a wedding but due to a paper work issue we're having to get "remarried." All of these parties were all at our expense. I have an infant and my fiancé has a little boy with developmental delays money is super tight and they are all aware of our situation. We are not just trying to be cheap. Please consider this before making rude hurtful comments***

Angel: Huh? You've already thrown a wedding? If you've already done this and it's just a paper work issue, no need for a gathering after the courthouse ceremony.

E for Eloping - so you invited people to a DW and still made them pay for their own meals? That is just....wow. Of course no one told you it was rude, because your guests are obviously a lot more polite than you are. And yes, that's probably one of the tackiest things I've ever read on here.

Please don't ask your guests to pay for your reception. If you make them pay for they food, there is no point in bothering with formal invitations since you aren't actually hosting anything.

Oooooh twist in the plot.

Yeah if this is a paperwork wedding, why would you go through all this?

And I don't think we are being rude, we are providing advise based on what we know.

You're sending out official invitations and then you expect the honored guests to pick up their own tabs for lunch? I would be literally shocked. If your parents generously offer to cover the bill, that's one thing, but if not, it's on you...100%,