Restaurant after a courthouse wedding???

My family would want to be there for the license, would suggest eating after, and absolutely would NOT let me pay for everyone, or really anyone. However, with something so casual I wouldn't send out formal invites. Phone calls with details.

There's more to this story and she's not sharing.

A. Pay for 8 adults and 4 children to eat brunch/lunch

B. Everyone comes back to your house. Order take out and pick up soda and beer from Walmart. Or just go out for ice cream sundaes.

C. Don't invite anyone.

The "people should pay for their own meal because I can't afford it" mentality isn't going to go over well here...

@O&S But she has the money for a DJ "nd" a photographer. Go figure.

Priorities man, priorities.

There seems to definitely be more to the story... Stay tuned for next weeks episode.

Guys, it's confusing, but there are 2 new users named Angel who have one star and a double ring avatar posting on the forums today. They're not the same person.

So, at the 'wedding' you did not actually get legally married? Now you need to go to the courthouse to make it legal? Well, that's more like going to the DMV to renew your license. I usually don't take guests with me to witness that.

If your 2 sets of parents know that what they previously witnessed was not legal -- and they want to make sure you get legally married -- I can see inviting them to the courthouse for their peace of mind. Go get coffee/ice cream afterward. No one else needs to be invited (they already celebrated your 'wedding' once -- no need to do it again).

Unfortunately if you are inviting people to go out to eat with you for a celebration such as this it would be in poor taste to not cover their meal. I see money is tight but maybe that means holding off or you or your FH doing something part time like Laura suggested. My FH drives for Uber for the wedding and makes and extra $200-$300 just driving Friday and Saturday nights.

Good luck!

If this truly is a paperwork issue that you need to clear up, why isn't it being taken care of immediately? If someone told me that due to some kind of error, my wedding wasn't legal, you can bet that FH and I would have taken care of it that day or the next. We would not be waiting a month and a half to do this.

For future reference, make sure you share all relevant backstory when you ask a question.

Lauren, maybe they have to wait for his divorce to be final.

No, it's not ok. For 12 people, this will be only be a few hundred dollars. I mean, kids meals are like $5.

Still waiting to hear what the "paper work issue" was

Nancy, you may have just hit on the missing part of the story. Big wedding planned, divorce not final, time is running out...oops, guess we're having a wedding and then we'll get married after that.

I did not read all the comments but wanted to give my opinion anyway. We were originally married at the courthouse, only immediate family (parents, siblings, our daughter of course!) were invited. We did not do invites (no need really), and we went to a local restaurant afterwards with our family. We were going to pay for everyone but our parents weren't having it at all, they insisted and took care of the entire bill as a gift. Other family members brought gifts as well, but we didn't request any of this.

So to answer your question, YES you should be paying.

No this is not okay this is crazy. You either go to dinner and pay for your guests or you don't go! RUDE!!!!!!!!!!

This thread makes me feel awful and pretty much hate weddings. OP, I hope you have/had a beautiful day with people you love who I'm sure would be more than happy to buy their own meal if it means sharing a special day with you.

View Quoted Comment Just wanted to say that you're an amazing person for stopping to give your opinion and advice. I came across this years later, but reading what you wrote made me happy to see that someone would speak up with empathy towards another's situation/preference while others are quick to snap and judge. Everyone's situation, preference, quality and expectation of friends, etc., is always different. Thank you!!!

I know you probably won't see this because this is several years later. But if someone else has the same question it is completely okay if your family is anything like mine. We love each other and they know we don't have a ton of money to spare so if they want to come they will and they will be generous to give the gift of spending time with us by paying for their own meal. I hope this helps anyone with a similar question. It IS OKAY for this to happen, you are not the worst person like all of these people are saying, just don't go somewhere crazy expensive!

View Quoted Comment

No, it is absolutely not okay to have people pay for their own reception meal, even if they love you.