Realizing you were in a TACKY etiquette Wedding!

I think Trash talking anyone's special Day is just horrible! I just hope the same doesn't happen to You!

I'm trying to understand what is so tacky about a cash bar? I've attended several with cash bars, and that didn't bother me one bit. The point of a wedding is to witness two people become a union and celebrate with them. If you're there for free beer and food then you shouldn't be there.

I agree Ashley C!!

Tacky is the wrong word for it...But just make sure that your scheduling is well planned. I was very disappointed when I was standing up for my best friend's wedding and was told to be at the venue at 6am! I was shocked as the ceremony wan't until 3:30pm. I was so tired but made it on time, we were told that a family friend that is good at hair and make up would be there to help the MOH, me and the other bridesmaid. When I got there the MOH was finishing her hair, and then I was told start my own hair. She only did the MOH and other bridesmaid hair as I was already done curling my hair by the time she was done. Then we sat and waiting for two more hours until we had the rehearsal. Then waited 5 more hours until the ceremony, we were told we would do photos, but that was only 30 minutes before the ceremony. It was a Sunday night and I didn't leave until midnight even though the party ended at 10. We were helping clean up. Don't get me wrong, I was so happy to be there and standing up for her wedding, I was just so exhausted at work the next day.

Nothing too crazy. Just a ton of money dances! I never really thought anything of it until this forum though. Also honeymoon funds. I honestly liked it when I was a guest because I liked the idea of gifting them something for their honeymoon because I wasn't excited about their registry. But I know how hated it is around here haha one moment I didn't like was having to wait forever for my table to be called at my cousins wedding to go stand out in the parking lot in a long, slow line to get tacos.... something about standing out in the hot parking lot in a fancy dress and heels waiting for tacos just rubbed me the wrong way. She also tried to have a 3 hour gap in between ceremony and reception but my family wouldn't let her do that.

My one of my best friends had a wedding that was dry, and we had to pay for our own dinners (reception was decided upon day of). Was it a bit tacky and badly hosted? Yes. Did I care? No, I was just happy to be included with this moment

I was in a wedding last October where there was no DJ, it was self-catered and the officiant was the bride's brother who did a TERRIBLE job on the ceremony. The majority of weddings I've been to have been a cash bar and it never even dawned on me that people have fully open bars until I came here. Thank goodness I found this site.

Wait, is having only a beer and wine bar tacky?

They're paid for and the non alcoholic stuff is free : )

Just because something is DIFFERENT and isn't YOUR taste doesn't necessarily mean its "tacky". That is just ignorance.

Super; your 'view of what's acceptable" doesn't make it right. It's not optional to treat your guest well, and the fact that you think it's okay doesn't make it okay. There is different and there is tasteless.

It's good to know the difference.

@Kate Food is one thing. Obviously, feed the people. Alchohol is subjective. Does not make it TACKY. People have different reasons as to why they decided to have a "dry wedding" or open bar only during cocktail hour. Perhaps immediate family members are recovering alcoholics? We don't know why. However, the original post stated "gifting BMs all the same cards and jewelry and made us wear in her wedding (WHICH I WAS ALLERGIC TO LOL) , Dollar dance, cash bar... it goes on" shows that the original poster has posh taste and a close mind. Not everyone can/wants have lavish weddings of such grandeur.

No. Adult beverages are not 'subjective'. And there is literally no good reason not to offer them. None. Cheap is cheap and that is usually where ideas like dry weddings, cash bars, potlucks and bring your own chair weddings come from.

Obviously, you can do what ever you want, but this forum is a great place to learn what your guests will be saying behind your back.

Nothing about the OP's post signaled 'posh taste' or a closed mind.

"Dollar Dances" for many are cultural.

I've been to a good share of weddings (all different) and I don't sit there nit picking all the things that I would've done differently, what I wouldn't have done or what I consider tacky. I go because I want to share in the happiness of my family/friends. Your wedding is your wedding. so if you don't like cash bars then don't have a cash bar but don't knock someone else down because that's what they had.

I went to a wedding a couple months ago. I don't know the couple but my FH does. So, the reception is at this upscale country club in a ritzy neighborhood. We go for the cocktail hour, and FH and I just grab some hors d'oeuvres and sip water at our table and visit with a friend. The waiter comes along and our friend ordered something with alcohol, FH ordered juice, and I ordered a soda. The waiter brings the drinks by and leaves. 10 minutes later he comes back looking embarrassed and whispers to our friend that the alcohol would cost $4. Luckily the guy had cash. But then I was thinking about how I was glad I hadn't ordered alcohol since it must be a cash bar, and then the waiter goes up to FH and whispers that it's $2 each for his juice and my soda! Thankfully FH had just gotten cash. But we were ticked that we had a freaking soda and juice and spent $4, and even more ticked that we didn't know until after the fact. What if we hadn't had cash?! I think since it's a fancy place the waiter just wasn't used to beverages not being paid for and didn't know until later and had to awkwardly go around and ask for money. Poor guy; can't fault him.

Oh, and then the cake was gross, and then the bride and groom were doing table visits, which is fine, except they took FOREVER and FH and I finally just up and left before the first dance because we were tired of waiting for the first dance with nothing to left to drink unless we just had water or forked over more cash.

And on top of all that I was just cranky because there was an uplighting lamp shining kind of in my face. Finally I decided I didn't care about the decor if they didn't care about my comfort though, and I just pointed it where it wasn't in anyone's face.

Overall it was a nice wedding and they're a nice couple, but unfortunately these are the things that are most memorable

The last two weddings I attended had a cash bar. I had no idea that was tacky at all. I just paid for my drinks and enjoyed myself. I didn't judge the couple for not having one or not.

I think that if you can afford to supply unlimited alcohol for all your guests, then by all means do it! That's awesome! But if you can't afford it, don't break your bank, or stress about it (I say this because I was so stressed out when I was choosing my venue). Proper etiquette or not, a wedding isn't about the free stuff. I've asked plenty of people who will be attending my wedding, and they all said exactly what I'm saying. A wedding is to celebrate with the ones you love and care about.

@ashley. Thats what they say to your face. They're not going to tell you its a sucky idea and make you (their friend) feel bad.

I went to a wedding a few months ago where they sat my FH and I with people who we had never even seen in our lives, and then saw that another table of his friends had 2 empty names on the chart and had extra chairs? I thought it was rude. It seemed like we were at a B-List table or something. It was super rude, so we left as soon as we were seated

I always find it funny when regulars on WW insist that etiquette rules are applicable for the "whole world" when they are clearly not. For example, registries would be considered tacky in culture (telling people what gifts you want them to buy you). But a dollar dance is perfectly fine and self catering is expected. My mom was offended when I told her I didn't want her to cook for my wedding.