Realizing you were in a TACKY etiquette Wedding!

FutureMrs half the time people don't know the monstrosity they sign up for until the big day.

Celia LOL, absolutely right.

FutureMrs, you can't exactly decline the invite to your mother's wedding, and expect the relationship to be ok.... I pointed out the absurdity of cooking, but my step dad refused to spend money in catering. My mom couldn't afford everything on her own. My sister and I did what we could to provide my mom with a nice wedding reception. I didn't eat the food, lucky no one got sick.

My friend ran around the church barefoot, smoking cigarettes, greeting guests before the ceremony started..in her dress. She also had HER mom and family cooking all day for the reception. I think her family missed part of the ceremony. Again, I was vocal during the planning and said to not have her family or just do a short reception.

The most difficult to bear was the one with a cold and partially uncooked self-catered pork entree, catered by one of the bridesmaids who had previously worked in the catering business. She was so busy running around, trying to do both worry about food and be a bridesmaid. The sides also didn't go with the meal. It just all seemed random and like they tried to do some foods that were easy and the one complicated thing, which was the stuffed pork roast, was a horrible and dangerous mess.

The other thing I didn't like about this reception was that it was a playlist dance list with only one type of music. The couple's taste in music was swing dance and hardly anyone else in the crowd was feeling it, so only a few people were dancing. There was no professional dj to read the crowd and play accordingly. I did try to request a popular line dance that gets people on the dance floor and the kid manning the laptop said "okay I'll try" twice before saying "sorry I can't play anything else." He looked embarrassed.

Also I hardly knew them and didn't have a plus one and literally knew no one there. I left so early. I can put up with a partial cash bar, I can put up with dollar dances, but the things I can't stand are raw food that should be cooked through and music that doesn't get people dancing.

My best friend had a self-catered, BYOB backyard wedding. It wasn't what I would have done (or am doing) but you know what? I was still happy to be there with her, and her new husband and their adorable little boy.

You're a saint Sarah.

FH and I are invited to one of his friend's wedding next month and the bride has asked people to "bring a dish if you wish". Yeah I threw up in my mouth when I heard that. I plan to eat beforehand. Im also pretty sure its either dry or BYOB.

Our family went to a wedding a few years ago. The reception was 20 miles from the church and at a place that mimicked the Tikki Room at Disneyland. It was a cash bar and the food was cold after standing in a buffet line for 15 minutes. Our table was the second to the last to be called. The only thing missing was the old lady with jiggly arms slinging food on our plates( cafeteria days of long ago )The bride wore a gown that looked like she was the understudy for Glenda The Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz. The cake was good. The couple has since divorced.

Lol. Yes I have been to a few. However They thought I was special enough to be a part of their wedding and I'm not gonna poo poo it on a public forum.

Only when planning my wedding and getting unsolicited advice from my MOH did I realize I was involved with one. She B listed like crazy and had a no ring, no bring rule. She was almost arguing with me about how I need to do it too. No thank you. I will not be repeating that faux pas and will risk spending more money if more people end up coming. I gave a plus 1 to every single guest and most are coming solo anyway.

Just wanted to say dollar dances are NOT a Midwest thing.

@FutureMrsAF

Was also a B-listed MOH a couple years ago, I'll add she and I are no longer friends and the wedding was a huge reason as to why. She gifted us cheap earrings and made us pay for our hair and makeup, not giving us an option. Also, the temperature was supposed to be in the mid-60's and sunny, and from the moment we woke up it was in the low 40's and pouring down rain. Her outdoor wedding was moved inside where we literally stood in a closet hiding from the groomsmen for 20 minutes so they couldn't see her dress. Just...a mess.

If you were so offended, you should have dropped out of the bridal party. Or called the etiquette police.

What's the chance someone will be talking about your wedding?

@Dreamer-as someone who used to barted weddings, people talk, especially when they've been drinking.

Also the last wedding I went to FH and I met up with several people beforehand and there was chatter about some of the egregious etiquette disasters that had occurred and people wondering what else would happen.

WW isn't the gold standard on what's "tacky" and what's proper etiquette so nope. Lol. Plus if you're over 21 and have had some real world life experience somethings should just be obvious. In addition, shit happens. Some of these things could happen due to another situation arising.

@Tacko-could you please give an example? I'm not following what it is you're actually saying and I'm well over 21.

Hooo man... I have a bunch of coworkers and friends who are getting married/got married recently. So many tacky things and etiquette breaches. I stay out of it, especially at work because any potential drama is absolutely not worth it.

When it comes to my friends... well, I don't directly tell them they're being tacky. I usually just tell them stories I read on here and hope they get the idea.

I witnessed my first dollar dance on Saturday. It was awkward AF. There was also no alcohol. One of my BMs is getting married in Oct & she is making people pay for their alcohol. She said the bridal party didn't have to pay, but scoffed at me when I told her FH will NOT be paying either. She is also doing one of those funds for a down payment on a house things, all against my advice. Yuck.

Yeah, my bestie had a dry wedding, never asked our dress budgets, got mad when BMs wouldn't come yo craft days (that all, ironically, included glitter), and got mad when everyone left after dinner (because of no alcohol) because she'd paid for a DJ for 4 hours.

She also used all of us as set up and clean up, had her aunt do her flowers, and her parents cooked all the food. Disaster, really.

Oh but she had nice favors of cups with Hershey kisses, so there's that...

My future SIL. She threw her own bachelorette party and made the invite on facebook. I was going to go, except a couple weeks after I received the invite, she posted pictures on FB from her "real" (??) bachelorette party which was a destination party. I was pretty bothered that she planned two parties for herself - one for the VIPs, I guess, and then one for the rest of her friends. Lol. I was not invited and nor would I have wanted to be invited to the destination party, but I definitely skipped out on the at-home party. Bc fuck that! hahaha.

A week or so later she texted me to ask if my husband was available for the bachelor party. She's pretty much runnin the show, obvs. He's the best man, but he told his brother ahead of time that he wasn't going to plan shit, he's not making a speech, etc etc. He's just not comfortable with that. His brother is a lot like my husband, and totally gets that. Anyways. We're attending another wedding on the night of the bachelor party, soo... Oops.

Also, she's having a cash bar. And I'm sure she's going to have a head table and I won't get to sit by my husband at all. Boo.

Ah...forgot to add this fun number.

FH's cousin is getting married two weeks before us. She is having a dry wedding, an hour long ceremony and an hour long reception, with no formal dinner. It will be "breakfast for dinner". I'm a girl that loves breakfast food (think: Ron Swanson) but if I'm sitting though an hour long ceremony, I'm going to need a drink a real meal.