Rant/advice! Engagement on the rocks

She needs to learn to unfollow people whose posts annoy her on FB, you need to learn that issues like this are hardly the end of the world (and no one is obligated to help you make centerpieces - what a non issue, seriously), and your FH needs to learn to handle arguments in a manner more befitting of an adult (such as using one's words), instead of the silent treatment often favored by teenagers.

This is all just horribly blown out of proportion given what actually happened here, and none of the parties involved are making it any better.

Calm down. You're just upset with him. It happens in relationships. Your expectations for your FH are unrealistic. You can't expect for him to make ups for your short comings. So what I'm saying is....yes to everything Crystal said.

I would punch her in the neck. Let her know that if her help comes with conditions based off of FACEBOOK that you don't need her help or her petty ass attitude

Lol thanks everyone I know we were most likely not going to break the engagement but I was just so mad and emotional. I went and told him we need to sort this out, let's drop it all and stop with silent treatment and look on your face. We are kinda getting out of this dumb argument now.

I know his sister will want to talk but I'll just keep telling I told her what made me upset. I'm done and over it so drop it. Like why keep it going? Lol that how she was yesterday and I'm like holy cow women I told you. .stop texting/calling..I'm done

If he says something to your sister about something she said to you and only you then you sound like a tattle tale and we are back in 3rd grade. He can't defend you if he isn't there....

So your engagement isn't on the rocks because of a fight. I agree with PP that you should have handled this yourself in a calm manner. I can see why your FH wouldn't want to get involved. Yes, he should defend you...over something serious. But selfies and centerpieces? No, that's just kind of silly and it's unfair to put him in the middle of his fiancée and sister over that. Don't ask FSIL for anymore help and leave her out of the wedding talk. Manage the relationship instead of putting yourself in a position to lose your cool.

You're overreacting. A fight over Facebook selfies? Stand up for yourself, there's no need for your FH to get involved in something so trivial. You need to learn to pick your battles, and this is not one worth picking. Grow up.

I suggest deactivating your facebook for a month. Live in the real world, not the digital world. When people can't distinguish who you are as a human being from idle facebooking, and when it leads to conflicts/problems in your personal relationships, that is a sign of over-connectivity. Spend more time watching movies and walking in parks with your FH. And if your FSIL says something that comes across as snarky about your deactivating your FB just tell her "You know, I thought about what you said and maybe you're right. Maybe I've been living on FB too much, so I just decided to take a break for a while."

Lol like I keep telling everyone it's not about Facebook. It's fact that they always been ignorant and this stupid little thing made me blow up. Also no I am not self obsessed on Facebook either, maybe I was back in high school but I got plenty of pics of my FH and I and others. My point was she's immature for even making comment like who cares it's Facebook and it's my Facebook. She's a trouble maker and the immature one even though she tries to act like she's mature and better then everyone else. I'm just tired of his family in general they are bunch of know it all people and we live with his dad and brother for last few years saving for a house. So that's really getting to me too. I pray to God this summer we get our own house I can't handle his family anymore. I was warned before I was seriously dating my FH but I'm like yeah can't be that bad. But the person was right ...they are rediculous with all comments they made over the years.

Sure, she's immature for mentioning it. But the way you handled it wasn't any better. I think that's the point everyone is trying to make.

ETA: what Winter Wonderland said

You must be ted up with that ish so i understand you. 100%. this was just the drop that spilled the cup. (An expression in spanish. I tried to trabslate it as best as i could) i am with you on this one he should have your back. You are the woman hes gonna marry. Just tell him you feel like you always have to hold your tongue so its not that ypure being a drama queen. If hes not gonna tell her anything then dont make him cause what he might say will probably not help the situation. It should come from his heart.

But dang ypu called her out of her name. Sheesh. Idk about that one. If you just called her a b. Dont qorry hun itll blow over but if you hit it where it hurts then you were in the wrong and need to apolpgize for that. And make it clear you dont see her that way.

I know I'm acting like them and I shouldn't have blew up like that. I just let everything get to me and I replay shit over and over in my head. Then I thought about couple times he should of defended me but didn't. .he was there when other sister literally flat out insulted both of us but just did nothing. I ended up saying something around lines "excuse me who do you think you are? I dont apreciate your comments". That caused big trouble and I was polite. So that's why I said nothing this time because they make ten times worse. That was more serious then this dumb argument. He says he would have if he's there but he wouldn't I know, he's afraid to stand up for himself to his own family in nice way.

This has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read.

This sounds a little over dramatic. Your FSIL might have been a little rude but maybe there's a reason for it. It sounds like there's some underlying issues that need to get sorted out with your in laws and more importantly your FH. This little petty argument isn't going to ruin your engagement. But unless you learn to be patient, respond to others calmly, and work things out together, your marriage might not last. I think you need to check your attitude first. Good luck! I hope you get things sorted out

ETA: I had more to say

No but I thought maybe his family would smarten up and lay off a bit but I guess that's silly of me go think that. Next time I'll say what I want since FH doesn't care but hopefully there isn't a next time. I don't understand how family can be so ignorant, my family would never say half the stuff that was said to us by his family. It's like hello are you all there people. Grow up.

I ignore my IL's, Works for me, I haven't spoke to them in months over calling FIL out on HIS behavior. My life is more peaceful. That being said they have never treated me like I was actually welcome in the family and have kept me at arms length since I met him. I skipped Christmas and Thanksgiving because I probably was never invited anyway. I have my own family and don't need the drama from them. My family actually likes each other, LOL.

If you think your engagement is on the rocks over 1 stupid fight about his sister, your being over dramatic. If that is the case you have bigger problems than the sister.

You need to work on your communication skills. There are ways to shut down insults in a tackful classy way that dont involve saying "who do you think you are." That is rude and is going to cause problems. Theres no reason a conversation about selfies and centerpieces needed to explode into you and your FH not talking.

I get it, its more than that, but you can deal with it as well, in a manner which doesnt put either of you in a bind. I cant tell you how damn irritated FHs family makes me sometimes. It doesn't matter, out of respect for FH I deal with it in a manner that is respectful and ends the discussion.

They have pushed everytime they see me about when we are going to have kids. We dont want kids and quite frankly it's none of their business. But me telling them that isnt polite, I just tell them in a way that is polite and makes them drop the subject.

Also the fact that you are living with some of his family, Im assuming rent free, means that you have quite a bit to be thankful for when it comes to that family. Theyre doing a lot for you, and there may be some resentment from the sisters that you are essentially getting a freebie and are still spending money on a nice wedding, talking about having kids, etc. Dont take this the wrong way, but if you cant afford standard living expenses how will you afford children? His sisters may have a valid point. Because when you actually plan to have kids theyre probably thinking you will continue to expect help, which IMO is wrong. If you want to bring life into the world you make sure youre set up to take care of the baby properly.

Honestly you sound super young. I find it highly immature that you continuously refer to his family as ignorant or as making ignorant comments. It sounds like there might be some bigger problems if his whole family seems to have an issue with you.

You can post whatever you like on Facebook but that doesn't mean people aren't talking about you and your selfies behind your back.

Also if you're blowing up about this small little issue, it leads me to believe you've gotten out of hand before and that might be why his family is talking about you or "making ignorant comments". Slow your roll and take in the bigger picture. Work on your emotions and relationships and things should be fine

So, when someone insults you the way you handle it is yelling and cursing? You need to have a chat with her, on an adult level. If you thing your engagement is falling apart over this issue maybe you are not mature enough to get married yet.

"Excuse me. Who do you think you are?" Is not polite. It's rude and condescending.

You need to learn the phrase "I'll take it into consideration" and let the argument drop.