Rant/advice! Engagement on the rocks

@Rachel: and if my FSIL had told me that I would have taught her how to use the unfriend me button. People annoy me when they post too many pictures of their kids and animals. I choose not to say anything about it because I could simply unfriend them. How you choose to utilize your social media is up to you. If I don't like it, the unfriend button is just one click away.

See the way my petty is set up, she would get a morning selfie from me daily. Good morninggggggggg, biatch!!

Hahaha!

I would move on without her help. You obviously clash too much with her, and working on wedding tasks will likely just add more tension and lead to more fights. Just do these things yourself or with your FH, and don't ask for her help.

I'm in the same boat! Huge fight over FH sister! Hang in there!

It just makes me mad cause his other sister made bigger comments before in front if him and he didn't back me up. She was saying we are not ready for kids and whole bunch of shit so i said excuse me who are you to tell me what we are ready for? ..oh boy I told her off and we both got right into it. This was 3 years ago. He had to stop us and he didn't back me up.he just kept telling me to relax and didn't want to leave his sisters when all I wanted to do is go home. He never has my back. So this whole "I wasn't there" bullshit is bull.lol cause he was there at one time with one of his bitch of a sisters and he just sat there and let her insult both of us.

That incident blew up too and his sisters were trying to make me look immature. That's why I did not say much this time.

@Rachel no one cares about a stupid correlation. It's over a billion people on FB from all walks of life, and it takes more than a few fb selfies to be considered narcissistic ( I hate that this term is used so loosely; like hypochondriac). Now there is a correlation between narcissism and insecurity.

The funny thing is I don't have many pictures of my self anymore it's all old pictures from years ago. I barely take new pics of me anymore. Unless I get nice hair cut or my make up is cute. So my point to her is wth is she talking about? I haven't been taking to many pictures and even if I was..wtf does she care. To me it sounds like she's insecure.

The funny thing is I don't have many pictures of my self anymore it's all old pictures from years ago. I barely take new pics of me anymore. Unless I get nice hair cut or my make up is cute. So my point to her is wth is she talking about? I haven't been taking to many pictures and even if I was..wtf does she care. To me it sounds like she's insecure.

Well is that a dealbreaker? Only you get to decide that. Just sayin', you're going to have much much bigger fights than this shit.

I have no idea what you've defended your FH for to your family. Was it about more than selfies? I feel like you should be able to work out a difference of opinion with your FSIL over selfies by yourself without him needing to stand up for you.

Wow wth it posted my post twice. Sorry guys lol

It's not about selfies at all Samantha W. It's fact that his sisters ..well whole family is just plain ignorant with comments and they try to dictate our lives (his dad anyways trying too). I'm tired of his family insulting me and him that's the point. I know though I got to keep remembering I'm not marrying them but still

I agree with pp, you're going to need thicker skin than that. It's going to take patience, strength, trust, honesty, perseverance, and good communication skills to get through a marriage. Marriage is not a Disney fairly tale, if you can't get past a few catty in-laws than maybe marriage isn't cut out for you. You're going to have to either deal with FSIL head on, or suck up and turn the other cheek.

It honestly sounds like you have a wicked temper. You are blowing up left and right at his sisters, him, probably other members of his family that you haven't mentioned. You have to look at your own behavior and reactions to them and learn how to keep your temper in check. It's a two way street.

FH's family has been extremely frustrating to me too. But I agree with PP, you need to grow a thicker skin and find a nicer way of telling someone "yeah well fuck you". My Mom has always called it being "Madame UN". The people is FH family are passive aggressive AND quick to temper rolled into one ball of 'nope not today'. I've been there where FH didn't stick up for me in front of his family, but three things: 1) it was a racial comment; 2) I didn't blow up at FFIL for it because I have learned that losing my temper to ignorance only gives them more fuel; and 3) I talked to FH about how hurt I was by his silence and we went to counseling for it. Now he doesn't let his family put me or us down, but he doesn't need to get angry and yell and storm out of places to accomplish that either.

I suggest you let this boiling water chill a bit, and then tell FH that it hurts when he doesn't stick up for you with bigger stuff, like the baby thing, and that makes the little stuff hurt more (I gather that's what's happened here?). You should also start sticking up for yourself without raising your voice and being quick to anger. It's hard not to tell people off, but when it's FILs like this it's better to handle it as calmly as possible.

Girl...first thing I want to ask is how old are you? It's a bit immature to think you are falling apart over 1 fight..marriage is a beautiful thing but fights will happen big ones at that..it's life, you get through it, move on and learn from mistakes. If he defends you, he creates bad blood with his sis. Had he been there he could intercede on your behalf. But he wasn't, therefore just learn to brush things off and not get offended so easily. In laws will try your patience if you let them

@rachel I am with you, OP sounds a bit self involved to me. People telling you things about yourself doesn't always equal disrespect. For example the comment about the kids..maybe they are right, but at the end of the day you and your FH make the decision on whether or not you should have kids. People will always give their opinions especially family..heck we do it here too. You may not always like it but you take it with a grain of salt of you don't agree. You decide how you live your life

While I agree that people are entitled to their opinions, some things are better left unsaid if it is not beneficial. My FH does not have siblings so I can't say I understand where you are coming from, but I do know what it is like to feel your partner did not stand up for you the way you may have wanted in conflict.

Now while you may have felt offended by your FSILs you need to learn to stand up for yourself in a way that is respectful and gets your point across. So his sister says you're not ready for kids or whatever, you say "Well that was hurtful. But I don't really feel that it is your place to make those type of comments to us. When that time comes we will make that decision privately as a couple. So can we can talk about something else?"

You don't have to be nasty in order to stand up for yourself. That's not the alternative to being quiet.

I'm not a fan of always just letting things go when it comes to in-laws. Sometimes you have to demand respect.

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I would tag her in your next selfie saying "this one is for you fsil" lol.

On a serious note, i know you feel things are falling apart because you and FH are in a fight and not talking, but things will be okay. Let things cool down, I'm sure you probably have felt this way before when you guys fight, you will come out of this fight and everything will be fine if you both love eachother and want to make it work.

You two need counseling. You need to learn to manage your temper and not blow things out of proportion. He needs to learn how to resolve disagreements in a more mature way than not talking to you. Both of you need to find ways to manage your relationships with your families. Find a good couples therapist and hash things out before you move forward with wedding planning.