Rant/advice! Engagement on the rocks

So I was talking to my fiance when got home yesterday and today and all he keeps saying "yeah that was rude but it's nome of my business" "I can't say Antthing I wasn't there".

Ugh what to do

I don't want him to cause tension between him and his family but he should have said something right away instead of today blowing everything up. I ended up telling him to grow a pair and calling his sis (only to him not her) a name I shouldn't so he's mad about that. I apologized to him but he's still not talking, I was just so mad at him for not defending me. He is afraid of his family. He could of said day of hey lay off nicely.

I want to tell him so bad but I defended him one time on my side but I don't want him hating my family. It just hurts to know he doesn't have my back like i have his and I can not sleep right now just thinking about this. It's tearing me apart. I'm feeling so sour towards him right now. I don't know how to feel.

Just baffles me how ignorant his family can be and he's letting them get away with it. Also if his sister really didn't want to help then why offer? Like I'm baffled ....I told her I'll do it myself now. She's like you know I was joking and I did not say I wouldn't help with wedding. She's such a liar. I would not make up stuff. I did not want this crap this weekend. Everything is turning against me now. I hate this cause I feel like we are falling apart now

Lol at you thinking everything is "falling apart" it most definitely is not. I get that you're hurt because he didn't defend you, but I kind of agree with him saying he wasn't there, because it turns into he said/she said, and the sister being hella fake by saying she was just playing. No relationship is going to be perfect. You can't assume because of one family dispute that it's the end of your engagement/marriage. Effective communication is something you guys need to work on, and not holding grudges. The situation with the sister should have been dealt with by you right then and there. You're an adult (grown woman), so don't be afraid to stick up for yourself. I think as a man (this may sound sexist) your FH just didn't want to get in between two women bickering over FB selfies and centerpieces; however, I do think he should have said something on your behalf since you can't seem to muster up the balls to do it yourself.

You're falling apart over one fight?

TBH I'd tell her "Okay, if you don't want to help with centerpieces I certainly don't want to pressure you, no worries!"

Does she not know how to unfollow people on Facebook? Or just tell FB to take your photos off her feed if they bother her so much? More relevantly, why on earth does she think it's appropriate to rag on your self-expression? (These are rhetorical questions, I'm just baffled at how you managed to avoid telling her to eat a bag of dicks.)

That's what it feels like he so stubborn and acting like this is all my fault. I can't stand when he doesn't talk to me.

@They/them yesssssss! She needs to grow a pair, and quick. That bitch would've never talked out the side of her neck to me like that again. I'd kick her clitoris further inwards! Hmph!

Everything Crystal said.

I don't understand why you didn't check your FSIL right then and there. You mention that your FH is afraid of his family, but it sounds like you may be intimidated by them as well. I think you need to have a convo with your FSIL and express how you were offended by her comments. Calling your FSIL names to your FH only puts him in the middle. Your engagement is not on the rocks because of this spat. Shit happens. Talk to your FH. Tell your FSIL to stop being a bitch.

Well don't talk then! Feed the man and walk around naked, and if that doesn't work then maybe you have a serious problem!

The food and the naked thing works everytime with my FH lol

Lol I said those things out of anger obviously I shouldn't have but that's how I felt. The only reason I did not say anything cause I would have called her what I told him today and it would have been 10 times worse. I know it. I'm type of person that just says things I shouldnt and keep going.

I figured hold back .talk to my fiance and he can deal with his sister instead of blowing up aND swearing her and calling her names (that's what would have happened because I was so angry of her disrespecting me). But no he didn't want too back me up on day he should have. Like I told him I have done it for him. My family was saying stuff and I told them to shut up they know nothing and to keep quiet about him.

But now I know he's okay with me saying what's on my mind to his sisters and risk making things worse. Then I will say what's on my mind next time. If they don't respect me then they get same treatment. I'm tired of being their punching bag and joke.

I literally had my fiance walk into our bedroom and tell me he didn't want to get married, a nd then find out he had been telling people for weeks he was going to leave me.

THAT is an engagement falling apart. This is not an engagement falling apart. This is you having a fight. You two need to learn how to communicate and deal with one another's families. Don't let FB ruin everything. He doesn't need to get in the middle of stuff going on with you/FSIL unless it directly impacts him. This doesn't.

A relationship is not tic for tac. Just because you defended him once, doesn't mean he owes you one. You are asking him to defend you because his sister told YOU to YOUR face that she thinks you post too many selfies. At some point, YOU have to stand up to her and let her know how you feel. Or else you will always be running to your FH to defend you because his sister said some shit to hurt your feelings.

Nip that shit in the bud now. Keep posting your selfies.

It's not even about stupid comment she made about Facebook. It's how ignorant she sounds and how she threatened to not help me with wedding. Twice she did that. Like jeez women I don't need your Damn help I'll figure it out. Then it's just he has sour look on his face it's driving me up the wall. He's making me feel like huge asshole

Then don't ask her to help. Be the bigger person, swallow your pride, and move on. Do your centerpieces on your own. You're going to have to deal with her the rest of your life and you two will not always get along. Just take it, and move on. She didn't do anything unforgivable.

Abundance of selfies has been correlated to narcissism and insecurity. Maybe you should listen when your SIL is trying to tell you that your obsessive selfies makes you look obnoxious. You can't even see how she was trying to be facetious about the centerpieces, so I think you need to follow your fh's lead and let it go.

I totally agree with S&J. Keep posting beautiful selfies, and stand up for yourself.

@714 I'm truly sorry for what you've been put through. I walked away from a engagement before, but I've close that chapter and got a whole new book. I'm hoping the same for you in the near future ((((hugz))))

Well that sucks. If you have doubts about the relationship, lost deposits are cheaper than the wedding + divorce. If you get this upset and riled up with him over a menial fight, there's probably more to it. Can you handle real fights in the future? Just not sure you're ready to be married.