Rant- Jack and Jills

This may be a silly question... What is a Jack and Jill?

I know Ontario and Manitoba have them but they are called different things. I agree, whenever I see them, my first thought is tacky!

It is sort of like a co-ed shower only instead of gifts you charge people for tickets. There is typically food, drinks, and a DJ. The idea is that it is a party to help a couple raise money to pay for their wedding.

I chalk it up to the whole entitlement issue of people thinking they're entitled to have some grand wedding regardless of whether or not they have the means to pay for it. if it means passing the costs along to their friends and family, they dont care - in their minds, they *deserve* that big wedding, and screw everybody else.

Its so gross.

Gross. I've never even heard of this until I came here.

You're entitled to what you can afford. Why even bother with the wedding? Get married at the Jack and Jill. It's a cleaner transaction.

I live in New England and I'd never heard of this until I was invited to one and knew that I wasn't even invited to the wedding.

I declined. Obviously.

And the couple has since divorced.

@Julia, it's not seen as a shower here, usually there is a separate one, it's a straight out fundraiser. There are door prizes, 50/50 draws and games designed to make money for the couple to fund their wedding. Oftentimes they will also have a shower and a bachelor/bachelorette on top of this.

It happens in other areas too. A few places in Canada, as well as some other states in the US too. But not everyone in those places - it's very much a social circle thing and they tend to be more common in small towns.

I agree that they're awful. Fundraisers are for charities not weddings. People who have them think they are totally fine though!

And yes, in many places it's in ADDITION to engagement parties, showers and bachelorettes!

I agree with Niki too - it relates to entitlement of people believing they deserve a certain type of wedding but not being able to afford it.

Why can't people just save up money or do a little wedding of they can't afford it, my fiancé and I payed our wedding off, we have a little wedding package but that's because we knew our budget. I'd never do a jack and Jill event

I've never technically attended one called a Jack and Jill but my understanding was that they were just a joint shower, and that's it. No tickets, no fundraising. I have gone to a joint/co-ed shower though (for the bride and groom) and my FH and I didn't have to pay any admission or ticket to come. We brought a gift, it was hosted with food and alcohol, and was a good time with a bunch of other couples.

Maybe that is what other people intended their Jack and Jill's to be too?

A joint shower is totally different. The OP is not talking about that. She's talking about a fundraiser. They're also called Stag and Doe, and in Manitoba a "Social".

Shannon, I've heard of jack/Jill showers which are for normal people, but these fundraising events clearly explain everything happening. Like my invite said, "50/50 raffle! Cash bar! $10 admission fee!"

I find it odd that in some situations people are invited to the party but not the wedding.... yikes.... I find the whole thing money grabby and tacky

We don't have those in WV

Right?! "Help us pay for the wedding you're not invited to!"

I am from MA. My mom is still there and planning my shower there. She told me she was planning a "Jack and Jill" and told me that meant a co-ed shower. When I came on WW and someone posted about them being fundraisers, I called her in an absolute panic to make sure that is not what she is doing. Nope- just a shower with men there, too.

Cats, wow, no idea it was so obvious a fundraiser. I'm glad I've never been invited to anything like that! So tacky.

I love the idea of a jack n Jill.. Why have a shower and a stag when you can have a giant party with everyone there? My FH and I live together and don't need the typical things that you receive at a bridal shower (Our toaster works just fine.)

And the reason why we don't want to invite everyone to our wedding that we would invite to the jack n Jill is because we want our wedding day to be about us and not everyone else.. We don't want to spend the day walking around saying hello to 400 different people. The jack n Jill can be a huge party and the main focus can be the guests having a good time playing raffles and games, and the wedding can be an intimate get together with close family and friends, focused on us. I don't think of it as a fundraiser because a ticket to a jack n Jill is way cheaper than what people would spend on a bridal shower gift and definitely way cheaper than what people would put in a wedding gift envelope.

Yes - often with these parties, people will send an invitation on facebook to their ENTIRE friend list, the majority aren't invited to the wedding. More people = more $$$! And any random people can be brought along too.