Rant - IT IS NOT YOUR DAY

@FutureMrsNerd when I read that comment I thought the same thing. None of those things are close to wedding etiquette or being a good host or not bridezilla.

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Preach

The fact that the "it's your day!" mentality was just compared to that of marriage equality and the pro-choice movement in this thread is so repulsive to me.

In the grand scheme of things, someone being a rude wedding host and/or a complete bridezilla is so painfully trivial to both of those things. A wedding has nothing to do with social justice; this is the biggest melodramatic stretch I've ever seen on WW.

To equate the two is just wrong. The conversations around both of these topics has never been something as simple as, "oh, let them eat cake and do what they want!" Both of these have been ongoing political issues and, not to get on the soapbox, but the fact that love and a person's body is a damn political platform really grinds my gears.

The fact that this comparison happened really grinds my gears, too.

The fact that someone thinks that a wedding is *that* big of a deal just plays into the whole "it's my day" mentality. A wedding is not the biggest thing or the most important thing to ever happen. There are so many bigger things going on out there and it is not worth hurting feelings over! Be a gracious host and don't get caught up in the day. And don't think that it is the most important thing out there because there are so many bigger things.

Wrong, it is your day! Everything else I agree with. But it is my and my husband's day. Our day, not our guests day. If my guest have to have certain things to enjoy our wedding then I guess I they won't enjoy it. If they can't eat, drink and have fun without special amenities then refuse the invite. It's my day and my husband's day. Bring a gift don't bring a gift, come have fun, leave and live to tell about it in a wedding forum. Everything doesn't deserve a complaint or whole ww forum post.

Well like all the other snowflakes and white knights say...if you don't agree with it then you can move along. It is NOT your day. If you and your hubby go to a courthouse and invite noone else then it is your day. If you have one single guest then you have to think of them. If you don't, you are a poor host. Not everything has to be about your guests but you do have to take them into consideration. You don't get to be selfish and/or inconsiderate just because it is your wedding.

@MRSFG, the ceremony is for you and your husband, the reception is a thank-you to your guests. Do they need to be there? No. All you need to get married is an officiant, yourself, your intended, and a witness. The reception is thanking people for coming out and witnessing an important moment in your life. Some take time off work, some travel long distances, some make arrangements for their kids to be watched, etc.

And your right, not everything to complain about deserves its own, individual thread, but it's nice to have reminders not be a rude host to your guests on, y'know, "your day."

Thank you thank you thank you!!!! If you want to have everything be all about you and what you want, go to the j/p.

Guests are not there because they just randomly hang out at wedding venues. They are there because they care about you...show them you care by thinking of them and treating them right!

But of course MRSFG shows up to declare IT'S HER DAY!

Special? Then don't invite anyone.

Listing nicely apparently doesn't work since we get a self catering or dry wedding or cash bar post literally every single day.

Mrsfg, the depth of your advice- giving is Unfathomable. Capitalized.

I love hosting on the regular....we do a monthly board game/dinner party at our place and I jump at the chance to host holidays.

Our wedding reception is going to be an AWESOME exercise in taking my hostessing to the next level! I LOVE that this board is so big on proper hosting...I made some pretty rude mistakes when I first started the game night thing, and it's horrifyingly embarrassing to even think about them now. Luckily, people have stuck with me and keep coming....I can't even think of how utterly mortified I would be to look back on MY WEDDING and realize that I had inadvertently blown it.

THANK YOU ladies for keeping this well-meaning bumbling idiot from making more stupid mistakes.

My only comment, why do so many people get upset over the decisions of strangers.

We can say all we want, snowflakes and weeknights move along if we don't agree, but they can say the same thing. I agree with most of the stuff said by OP. Where I differ, doesn't matter. I thank you for saving me from my mistakes, but we ALL need to get serious about the "being terribly angry over seeing the same thing" (the quotes are for sarcasm) or the "I hate you because you disagree with me." Why is it people are getting so upset (on both sides)?

I do not include the people just trying to help. Thank you to all who have contributed to both sides (even if you are wrong about not having to follow etiquette) appropriately. Be gracious regardless of what you think.

Don't let someone else make your attitude decision for you. Life will be much happier.

Now I'm going to sit back and watch the rest. Haha.

@Arthur, I can't speak for the snowflakes, and I'm hardly a vet/regular, but I think we (The royal "we", vets/regulars) get SO SICK of seeing the same post every day or almost every day. It's not that we get upset/mad/offended, but it's flabbergasting to see how many people don't know or don't bother to look up etiquette.

Honestly I think the snowflakes get bootybothered that someone would actually tell them to their faces that they are trying to pull some tacky shit under the guise of "It's my special day"/"I'm paying for the wedding myself"/"If they need alcohol/not botulism/chairs to have fun they aren't invited/my friend anyways"/"But I have an alcoholic aunt" etc etc, the list is never ending.

I understand all that. And the excuses are really poor (if they have them) most of the time. I can appreciate the passion that the vets have in trying to help others not make bad mistakes. My only thing is that I have seen so many people totally lose their cool over very trivial things (i understand etiquette is not trivial, it's smart). I have somewhat enjoyed watching people get crazy just because people disagree. The best part is I wish that I could see the posts people had flagged. It's kind of nutty. I have only seen one post that needed to be flagged for being entirely inappropriate (yes by a snowflake). Good times though.

It is just really annoying seeing the same posts all the time. Then we tell them it is rude or tacky and they freak out and act like we are demons. No, we just know how to treat others well. And then there are some who really don't know and need advice and are starting to understand why what they are doing is rude/tacky and someone comes in and tells them not to listen to anyone else because "it's your day" and a lot of time that is all it takes for the bride to go back to the bad idea. Nobody here wants anyone to throw a tacky wedding or piss off their guests. A lot of posters have been to weddings where this has happened and have real stories to share. But people need to understand getting married does not give you the right to be bridezilla and most will regret it later!

@Arthur, we don't care what strangers do. We DO care when someone specifically asks for advice and then gets angry, defensive, and rude. And then ignores the advice. #askholes

@Bryce lol I definitely need "not botulism" to have a good time

Completely agree!!