Pushy Mother of Groom

You are amazing bordering on so rude I don't believe you are real, OR that this woman, who has let you live RENT FREE in her house for five years would even let you marry her son.

Yes, you need to include her; you should WANT to include her, or don't you get how that works? Should she get the final say on everything? Not necessarily, but as they say, you're marrying a family. She has clearly welcomed you as part of hers. I say take a good long look at your selfish, entitled, creepy behavior and get over yourself.

Or try this; move out, pay your own bills and call your own shots. What a concept!

@Celia I always end up "liking" every single one of your posts

@Pam this is how I feel about you...

Pam, please enlighten us as to what plans we are talking about? Just what is left for her to push her way into? Seriously, you have to be pretty much finished with everything by now, and what you aren't finished with is really just fluff and extras.

Oh, and for what it's worth, she has purchased $5K worth of the same kind of "fun" she had with her daughter's wedding a few years back. If I didn't know that there were a lot of young brides with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, I'd actually believe this post is about starting drama.

My FMIL wanted to come to the taste testing (for my reception) and to some of my dress fittings...I wanted to do that with my mom alone. She got upset when we set the date for the stag and doe and didn't consult with her...apparently my FH's parents were going to be going away that weekend....she wanted to help with the guest list and wanted some of their extended family. I wanted to do my own hair and makeup and she said she thought it would be hard for me to do and deal with that on my wedding day and said she thought I should hirer a team to do it. She then went ahead and made a hair appointment for herself at a salon... Is that not pushing her wants on me? I'm not trying to start drama...I just felt that my mom should have a turn...

Is letting her come to the tasting a big deal? FH's parents are not contributing, but we are letting them come since we have room. It's all about building bridges. Plus, since they are putting in money, they should get at least some say. I get the dress thing - I felt the same way - but I think picking and choosing your battles is a good idea. Additionally, you can stand up for yourself. When she suggests something you might have reservations about, simply say 'Thanks-I'll consider it" and move on. You can implement the suggestion or not. As far as her getting her hair done at a salon goes, I don't see how that has anything to do with you - am I missing something?

Your mom can do that stuff with you as well? This doesn't have to be an either or situation. This lady has obviously done a lot for you for FIVE years and you should be appreciative. I was going to do my hair and makeup myself as well and my mom said the same thing then booked me an appointment for a trial and the day of. I didn't take it as pushy I took it as her wanting to make sure I have a wonderful wedding day. Also with paying that much money she SHOULD get to invite some guests. If you don't want her to get any say don't accept the money, move out of her house, and maybe YOU should pay HER for back rent.

Also, I am not super familiar with a stag and doe party, but do the parents/extended family normally attend those? I thought it was just for the bridal party and close friends - like the bachelor/bachelorette parties we do here in the States.

None of those things seem that pushy. She is paying a good chunk of money so attending the tastings and having a say in the guest list are pretty standard. I'm not even going to touch the stag and doe issue because those make me want to puke (unless you're just talking about a coed shower or bachelor party?). But I will say that you should have checked with all VIP's, especially parents, before scheduling any prewedding events.

I'm going to address the issues by points.

-if you have the space for them to join you at the tasting what is the big deal?

-she cares about you enough that she wants to be involved with your fittings, that's sweet..you could have included both moms..but if you wanted it to just be you and you mom you express that and be done.

-my parents want to be involved in the Bach parties, if you don't want parents there then address that and move on.

-if she is contributing money she should have some say in the guest list. Period.

-she probably thinks that you hiring someone to do your hair and makeup would make the day go smoother for you. She is thinking ahead and probably just wants the day to be relaxing for you.

- she made an appointment for herself, why does that bother you? She is entitled to have her own hair done for the wedding. Get over it.

None of these sound pushy, sorry. You need to be more grateful. There are plenty of brides on here who wish their FMIL would be more involved or brides that wish they had a better relationship with their FMIL.

Get over yourself, this woman is going to be family, she has done A LOT for you over the past 5 years...maybe it's time to appreciate what you have.

MY MIL refused to have much to do with wedding. Fine with me, she drives me nuts.

She's let you live rent free for five years and is giving you a decent chunk of money for the wedding, at this point she should be able to do whatever the fuck she wants. Don't be so ungrateful.

Hahahaha. Omg. Are you for real? She suggested that you might consider being pampered for the day to be LESS stressful on you, and she made an appointment for her own hair. Let's switch. You can have mine. She is totally not interested in me. Sounds like just what you deserve.

I lived with my In laws for 8 months and years later I still feel like I owe them for being so generous. I can't wait to include my MIL in my planning. It sounds like she cares a lot about you. Do you know how lucky that is? You couldn't be more ungrateful. I can't believe you act like this. Grow up princess.

I'm sorry, but reading your follow up comments, you are behaving like a brat.

Just sit back and relax a bit, who cares if she comes to a cake tasting? Did it change anything? Is your mother upset she came? I also don't understand why you are upset that she booked herself a hair appointment... It has nothing to do with you...

I say be thankful that you have, what sounds like, a wonderful set of in laws.

The simple answer is yes you should include her. I have never lived with FIL's and I made sure FH mom is included in all my decisions because after all it's her sons wedding also.

You sound really bitchy and your FMIL literally sounds like she'd be in the running for mother of the year award. So many brides would love to have both parents involved so that's why you're sounding pretty bitchy, rude, ungrateful to the extent I really don't think you can be serious

Hey; mothers' day is coming up; start shopping now. Maybe you can make up for some of your behavior.

You all know that if this post lasts until tomorrow morning -- just as the regulars are sitting down at their desks with coffee in hand -- this is going to explode, right. Fair warning, OP.

OP. If it's "fair to say" she had her fun when her daughter got married before then you shouldn't get to enjoy sex with FH becaude you already did that with the last guy or guys. Just an example of how asinine that sounds. Your family now. She's family now. She took you in for free when your mom didn't or couldn't and now it's unreasonable that she wants to help pay and be involved with the wedding?

Bad troll is bad