Price per head

Ab Z - where do you get free table cloths? Our table cloths come with the caterer costs though and weren't very expensive.

Our venue only has enough tables and chairs that come with the price of the venue for about 100 ppl (and that would be having to get the chairs moved from the ceremony site to the reception area - like 20 ft away in between ceremony and reception), but the place can hold 200 and they dont have extras to rent, so we have to rent chairs and tables from another vendor to hold our 150 guests and also extra chairs since we dont want to have to worry about moving chairs in between the ceremony and reception.

Counting only cocktails, appetizers, food, drinks, desserts it's $75 pp.

IF I include everything else minus my attire, makeup, transportation, ad gifts it will be ~ $150 per head.

I wish I get that amount of money as gifts lol but not what I expect. like you said I just want them to have fun and enjoy everything we offer.

Shana - I'm surprised you haven't heard it before... but it probably is a regional thing. Yea I would think $200 is a very nice and generous gift for a couple to give at a wedding. I think we all have become WAY more aware of how much a wedding costs once you plan your own.

We definitely added the tax and gratuity to all of our budget for everything, it was one of the first questions we asked since we read on here SO many people forget about it and we didnt want to be one of them lol

I'd start with a basic head count of 100.

Take 100 mulitiply by cost of one dinner

PLUS add up your fixed cost: number of chairs, tables, misc. furniture rentals, linens, floral decor (not including bouquets or bout.)

THEN divide by 100.

That's your price per head, meaning adding one guests will costs that much more.

Things like the dress and officiant aren't included because the price won't change if you add or take away any guests.

I think we are around $90/per person with the things I mentioned above in my OP, but it would certainly be well over 200/per person.

Where I grew people just give based on what they can afford and how close they are to the person. I find the whole "cover your plate" bizarre - I'm not giving more to a coworker who chooses to have a more expensive wedding.

Now here in NY it does seem to be very common to "cover your plate" and from what I have gathered it's mainly based on food.

It's interesting you're bringing that up because I always think about it when I see posts like "can I have a $2,000 wedding for 100 people". Then I realized people only count basic price for a plate and do not count what their parents/other people are paying.

We calculated everything except personal items. So that's all expenses minus the tux, dress, my flowers, hair and makeup, rings and the honeymoon. Plus there're gratuities that were a significant amount. We also paid for a shuttle to the hotel and we paid the tip for valet for all our guests. As far as the gifts go, although our friends and family were really generous, most gifts were not even close to what we spent per person. But they were close to the basic cost of food.

I am considering the food and alcohol, and possibly the venue hire cost, so that will be probably $140 pp (we haven't locked in a venue yet). At that price, I definitely don't expect couples to be giving close to $300 as a gift.

I would think the price per head would be inclusive of everything that was dependent on the number of guests (food, drinks, linens, chair table rentals, stationary, cake, etc.)

But I agree with Shana, what FH and I give at a wedding is determined by our financial situation. Usually we give a couple hundred dollars, but it's not because that's what we think the plate is worth. Its just because that's who we are.

And we seriously doubt that our wedding will be covered by the gifts we get back from guests. : }

Thank heavens we never believed in that rule in the first place! We were very happy to have our friends celebrate with us, with or without bringing a gift.

But I do find it perplexing how people figure that out. One of our receptions was in a restaurant. We didn't pay a rental fee. We paid a per person cost for the food, and actual consumption for the alcohol. Thus, the cost to add an additional person would have been the per plate cost plus the cost of their alcohol, plus tax and tips.

For our other reception, we paid to rent the place. We then paid $250 for an open bar for five hours, but that did not depend on the number of people. We paid someone to buy, prepare, serve, and clean up food, and were able to take home any leftover food. NotFroofy made our cake, so we just paid for the ingredients. And we paid for all linens, lighting, decorations, etc. So adding one extra person might not have cost us anything--it just would have meant fewer leftovers for us.

Oh i see..our reception space is a hotel ball room, so they have banquets all the time, and all we have to pay for there is food and booze..since we are over 75 guests we don't even need to pay to rent the room..which I'm finding is rare based on what I've seen on WW at least. I'd like to have nicer ones than just white, but I figured I'd just save the money.

I'm with Shana here, I had never heard of this until I started planning my own wedding, generally I would give based on my financial situation at the time and my relationship with the couple. I have a minimum of $50 on my own or $100 if it's from both FH and myself.

As for my price per person, if I were to calculate or tell someone, I would take my total venue cost, which includes food, drinks, linens, cake, chairs and divide it by the number of guests. Even after planning, I don't think I will attempt to cover my plate at any future weddings, I might try to give more, again all based on my relationship with the couple and if I'm giving individually or as a couple.

When I'm a guest, I only think of food & bev, because that it what the guest consumes, but I'm sure my guestimate of what was spent on food & bev is influenced by the overall feeling of the wedding. However, I don't feel the need to give a bigger gift because the couple decide they want to go all-out on extras. I will consume my share of food/bev, but I would not increase the amount/cost of a wedding gift because the couple hired a 3-ring circus to perform.

The rule that I had always been taught by my mom and both sets of grandparents is the actual plate of food w/ drinks. Before I get beat to smitherines I'm fully aware there is no actual rule but this is just how my family determines. I've overheard my grandmother and her sister's cackeling about a "cheapskate who didn't even have the decency to cover their plate with a gift" so I've always tried to do just that so no old bird gossips about me like that. LOL

Depending on the venue I make an educated guess - if its a banquet hall I figure its probably 50-60/head if its a Country Club I assume somewhere in the 120 mark. If it's a 5 star hotel in Philly/NYC I assume $180ish

The last couple of weddings we've gone to we've been in the $300 gift range plus a bridal shower gift so all in all we in for $400ish. If I like you or your Mom a lot its more.

FH and I also set a rule for Graduation presents too - High School is X and College is X .

I am with Shana on this one. Until I came to this site, I had never heard of covering the cost per head with the gift.

If I were to price it out, I would include the meal, beverages, any extra catering costs (such as special linens), cake and gratuity (taxes, if you live in a state with taxes).

I would not include favors and invitations. Favors are gifts to your guests and not required for an event, JHMO.

I'm not sure what one does with this information though, once they have it. It's not as though that information is sent to the guests.

Nisey - I follow the cover your plate rule (and before people jump on me - that's just what we do in my family and friends group - I get most people give what they can afford but I guess I can afford to cover my plate). That all being said, I usually include the food, bar and cake (although most people here do all-inclusives). So basically I give between $200 and $300.00 as a gift.

I'd never even heard of this concept until WW. I've always just purchased something off a registry. I get more/nicer items for people I'm closer to.

@Kelly, I hope that no one jumps down anyones throat on this thread. I find it interesting, to read all of the differing views on this topic. As I mentioned, in my previous post, I had never heard of this, prior to coming to this site.

I suppose the easiest way to communicate this to guests, is via the gifts on a Bride and Grooms registry.

Personally, I do not think that it is always being able to afford to cover a plate. Some people will still bring a less expensive gift. Some may make a gift. Some may not bring a gift at all. Some couples do not need things, so no gift is expected. Some will bring an expensive gift or a nice fat check. LOL! I honestly see no right or wrong.

Since my wedding was a somewhat destination wedding, I was just happy that people could come! I didn't expect anyone to bring an expensive gift or cover their plate. Having said that, some people went above and beyond with their gifts, others gave meaningful gifts that cost relatively little. We were touched by all of them! In honesty, probably the most special wedding gift was a $10 moleskin notebook that my friend had asked session musicians to write in why they loved music to give to me.

About a month after our wedding, DH and I flew from Japan to Cali for the wedding of one of our groomsmen. We were already paying over $5000 for plane tickets so we only gave them $80 and they were just happy we could be there.

I think every situation is different but they bride and groom shouldn't feel entitled to gifts. Each guest (including us) should gift what they can afford and feel is appropriate.

Kathy - I definitely don't think it's something that any bride expects to have their plates covered. I am all for giving what you can afford. I just like to follow that guideline because I know how expensive weddings can be and I try to "cover my plate" as a way of thanking the bride and groom for inviting me.

I am sure everyone is happy with whatever they get. It would be a shame otherwise!