Cris
Super September 2011

Polite way to say dress up!

Cris, on October 25, 2010 at 7:59 PM Posted in Planning 0 19
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I have been reading posts about relatives/friends showing up to the wedding without proper attire. I want to add something on my website that addresses that without sounding rude. Any one have a "nice" way to put it?

19 Comments

  • Danielle
    VIP November 2010
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    On the invites, usually "formal reception to follow" is enough.

    • Reply
  • StephJean
    Devoted February 2011
    StephJean ·
    • Flag

    Yea i agree with danielle. my reception is kind of a picnic & very laid back. i put on mine "casual reception"

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  • Future KH
    VIP October 2011
    Future KH ·
    • Flag

    Here is a website that helps define dress codes for wedding. This information does go on the invitation. http://fashion.about.com/cs/glossary/a/partydefinition.htm

    Good luck!

    • Reply
  • KenWay
    VIP July 2011
    KenWay ·
    • Flag

    I just placed on the website cocktail attire :-) lol IDK...

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  • Genevieve
    VIP February 2011
    Genevieve ·
    • Flag

    I can be very blunt, and they all know this. I put on the website:

    Dress code: Men: slacks & dress shirt; Women: skirts/dresses encouraged

    Note: Bridesmaids will be in dark blue, groomsmen in black suits with blue ties. And Gen's dress is white. (so don't dress like them)

    Anyone who would be offended by that isn't invited. So far everyone who's read it has cracked up. A couple guys have replied "oh thank goodness, I know exactly what to wear".

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  • M & C
    Expert July 2019
    M & C ·
    • Flag

    Semi formal.

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  • FMW ~ BatLlama
    Master May 2011
    FMW ~ BatLlama ·
    • Flag

    So awesome that you can be blunt like that Gen!! I put semi formal attire on mine... But for some people I may have to put NO JEANS OR HAWAIIAN SHIRTS! no joke lol

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Phillips
    Master September 2011
    Mrs. Phillips ·
    • Flag

    I never thought about it. i would just asume that people would know how to dress to go to a wedding,but i guess not

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    I originally thought we should put "cocktail attire" for our at-home reception. However, NotFroofy reminded me that we know some geeks who probably don't even own suits. So we ended up just putting "party attire." There was quite a bit of variation (several kilts, for example, on men), but people didn't show up in t-shirts and jeans.

    For the ceremony, it was less of an issue. Since the venue was a synagogue, people were able to guess that they should wear something appropriate to a church or synagogue.

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  • K
    Master October 2011
    Kiss My ·
    • Flag

    List it on the invite but be aware you will probably still have one or two who show up not dressed appropriately.

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  • Cris
    Super September 2011
    Cris ·
    • Flag

    I wasnt really concerened about this until I read some other people's posts about how guests were dressed...for some people on FH's side I MAY have to flat out say no jeans or tshirts....**sigh**

    @latasha- yea I thought people would know what to wear too but now Im not so sure...

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  • Ava
    VIP September 2011
    Ava ·
    • Flag

    I am including a "No Bow Ties" clause in my "Formal Reception to Follow" Note. Lol, I really hate bow ties. The Groomsmen have already been instructed to tell anyone who shows up in one that they have to remove it or they will not be fed. Lol

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  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you can strictly control what people wear to your wedding (it's their bodies, after all). But you can set some basic parameters. "Festive Attire" or "Dress to Impress" usually tell people to dress up, whereas there are lots of people who hear "semi-formal" and think it means a nice shirt and some jeans (which is actually "smart casual," but why split hairs?).

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  • Jass
    Master September 2012
    Jass ·
    • Flag

    I'm really not sure what my future in laws will wear. They are the jeans and sweatshirts type. lol Maybe I can say to the mom that I would be willing to go with her to look at some dresses/outfits. Come to think I don't think I have ever seen her in dresses other than in old pictures. Yikes. lol

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  • M
    Master March 2011
    Mrs. Boat ·
    • Flag

    I just addressed part of this situation this weekend lol. I just called up FMIL and told her of the people on her side of the family (i.e. HER PARENTS. they live in Hawaii lol) that I had "concerns" about their wardrobe.

    I asked her to casually adress it in conversation... this is what Grandma and Grandpa were planning to wear...

    I am for sure adding a little blurp on my website about dress code.



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  • Mrs H.
    Master May 2011
    Mrs H. ·
    • Flag

    "Black Tie Optional" that way if guys want to wear a tux they can, and the slackers will at least put on a suit.

    • Reply
  • Cris
    Super September 2011
    Cris ·
    • Flag

    @Shannon- I agree that I cant control what they wear but I am putting out A LOT of money to make this a formal affair and I think its rude for someone to show up to my formal affair dressed like they are going to the park...thats why I want to emphasize to everyone that jeans and such are not acceptable...in fact the country club where I am having the reception/ceremony dont allow jeans period, and men must have a collared shirt, regardless if they are there for a wedding or not

    STB M Allen- I know!!! Your post is one of the ones that got me thinking!! yikes!!!

    Ive seen FH's family show up to funerals in jeans and tshirts so thats what freaked me out. I already have adult receptions so that what im trying to word together.."formal adult reception to follow?" does that sound good? it doesnt sound quite right to me

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  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    Cris - I was reacting more to the "no bow ties" restriction mentioned by another poster. I would include language on your website that says something like, "We enjoy welcoming you to our formal reception. Due to venue dress codes, collared shirts are required for men and no jeans are permitted."

    • Reply
  • Cris
    Super September 2011
    Cris ·
    • Flag

    @Shannon- gotcha! Thanks for the input! I think I may infact mention that it is club rules, that way Im not being the biotch

    • Reply

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