Plus ones

I'm glad this was brought up... Especially about people just showing up without notice. I particularly letting the hostess/planner know that if they're not on the list, they're not eating.


Any suggestions on getting ALL names for potential "plus ones" in advance? Before the invites go out? Is that even possible?

View Quoted Comment My wedding is fairly small (40 people) so I knew the plus ones that would be invites so I made the invite out to the both of them. For the ones that I didn’t, I just texted that person and asked who they might want to bring. If you have a bigger wedding, I imagine you might just have to place a line on the rsvp card for them to write BOTH names of who will be attending. It makes it easier for the place settings. I hate the idea of anyone walking up and seeing “so and so’s Guest” on a place card.

View Quoted Comment I agree. Not a bad idea to text before hand! Thanks for the suggestion!

Girl l think i got you beat. I sent RSVP with the number of seats for them, they crossed out my number and then wrote their own number in. Bruh

Heck no, I’d be annoyed too. It’s not just a random party, it’s a celebration of you and your new marriage!

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I can’t even. Are you kidding? Please tell
Me how you handle that!

It’s your wedding hun! Tell your friend nooooo sorry it’s my wedding and I already have a limit amount of guest. At the end of the day you want to share this moment with people that you love.

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Well i called the individual and stated unfortunately I only have 2 seats available for them. If i do receive an extra seat I would let them know (which I am definitely not). They told me if they dont get the extra person to come then they would have to decline.. i said okay...

Jeez that’s nerve, I haven’t sent out my invites yet but a friend of mine at work told me people do that. I can’t believe that. Wow...you’re not wrong to feel how you feel.

View Quoted Comment Lol, buh bye lol. People are amazing...

I would be so irritated by that! You are definitely not in the wrong. I wouldn't even know how to tell her no without sounding like a Bridezilla.

I’m totally on your side, people just don’t understand the cost of adding people and it’s not like it’s a casual party it’s a whole wedding!! You can’t just bring people for the sake of being them

You are not wrong at all! Weddings are expensive and "plus ones" cost extra for you guys on your big day and its not a fair question to put on you. I would just politely say no!

I agree with everyone! Only the plus 1! That is pretty rude to even think.. but at least she asked, and now you can say no.

Wow! The audacity. No to her mom and her friend. Unless you are ok with it. My rule is that if you didn't have a plus one on the invite - -don't bring them. Kudos to her for asking. She could have just shown up with a plus one.

I have been asked this too and the save the dates haven’t even gone out yet! You have to expect this behavior from the very beginning. It’s usually the people you least expect. When I was asked I did not waste time. I told them no. Although I tried to be as polite as possible I still feel like they didn’t get the message which worries me a little. Tell her that your wedding is a intimate moment that you and your fiancé plan to share with close friends and family. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel pressured because at the end of the day who are the people getting married?

I'd be annoyed. People have some brass ones.

I would tell her that the plus one is for one person, and that she'll need to decide who that person is.

You are not obligated to allow her to bring anyone else. I have gotten this question from multiple people, "I know you're having a small wedding, but I now have a bf, can he come too?" Really, you're going to ask me that. Plus you've been together for two months and almost all of my stuff is finalized now. Makes me so frustrated. It's really rude to ask to bring more people.

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No way!!! I can't even with this!! I hope my rsvps don't come back that way!! I put every single person's name who is invited on the invitation insert and the number of seats on the rsvp card.

View Quoted Comment LMAO, man jeez.


I am hoping to head this off by assigning each guest to the person responsible for them (partner's mom/dad, me for my friends, etc). I told everybody that they were responsible for getting their people's addresses, names of guests, AND chasing down those people for an RSVP answer or clearing up any shenanigans that come out like your situation.
That way I can be like "Laverne, you have got to go deal with your sister and the craziness on her card." lol