Plus ones for every single single guest?

All the single people in my wedding guest list I am not adding a plus one. We just cant afford for everyone to bring a random person. The only person we are allowing is our officiant because he is a long time friend and we hope he finds someone nice by then but if not we will still be fine on the count. I am in the same boat and want to keep it around the same. My future MIL keeps adding people and saying she will pay for it. But they are friends of her other sons and not ours. She is paying for part of the wedding as a gift as she did with her other son, but she didn't do that to that son. No idea how to keep our count down 🤷🏻‍♀️

We are only giving plus ones to those in relationships (of any length, even if we haven't met the SO) and people who literally know no one else at the wedding (which is one person). All of the rest of our single people will know at least 10+ other people at the wedding. We are having a larger wedding, if every single person got a plus one we would be paying for the plates of around 25 people who are strangers.
If you can't enjoy a wedding with several other friends as a single person, then it is entirely up to you to decline the invite. I get trying to be accommodating, but giving a plus one no matter what is a huge financial burden that I don't think is necessary. To all of those insisting on random +1s - how much extra money did that cost? Because our wedding is $130/plate and its just not feasible.

For reference, my fiance received a save the date recently and my name was not on it. I have not met the couple. Is it a bit unorthodox to not invite someones fiance to your wedding? Yes. But am I upset? No. Because I have not met the couple so I understand why they may not want functional strangers at their wedding. I wish more people looked at it logically like that.

People will be offended no matter what you do. Kids/no kids, plus ones/no plus ones, etc. Do what works best for you.

I’m currently in a similar ish dilemma. We didn’t send out formal invites yet but will be this week (they just got delivered yesterday). My aunt has already asked me if my younger cousin (he’s 20 or 21) can bring his girlfriend. I said no because she’s not on my list and his whole family will be there so he will know people. We weren’t as concerned about size of the guest list in terms of keeping it small but more from a cost standpoint. Then my aunt texted me again and said what if I pay for her head cost. I told my mom this and she said she would pay extra to cover the cost of my cousin’s GF (me and my fiancé are splitting the costs with my parents and his). I think whatever you choose is fine. It can get expensive with plus ones so you have to go with what you want to do! I don’t think it’s mean to not give everyone a plus one especially if they will know other people there.

You are not crazy. How many people do you really want to pay for??

I'm stressing about the plus one situation. I'm torn between "etiquette," and finances. Let alone the fact that likely neither myself nor my FH will know most people's plus one. Someone previously replied that couples they knew, the invite was addressed to both of them. That makes a lot of sense. Plus, 85% of our guests will be coming from out of town, and not only am I concerned about adult plus ones, but what about kids? It is unlikely that the majority of our guests with children will be able to leave them for several days to attend our wedding. My family is huge (my mom is 1 of 10, dad is 1 of 5), and very close knit. I foresee is already having way more people than we contracted for...Sorry, I guess I'm venting more than giving a helpful response, but I am really troubled by this situation.

I was giving some people plus one but I am having a very small wedding 50 max. I am already doing a wedding in NY which is a big expense since I live in FL. I am doing it in NY just because my mom and most of my friends and family live there. Now I have people asking me if they can bring people I really don't want at there. So being who I am I said "Yes, of course it's ok" When I truly want do say HELL NO!

Any updates?

Your mom is tripping. You'll end up almost doubling your headcount that way. Single people can socialize for a day or choose not to come. It's good etiquette to give plus ones to single members of the wedding party or to those in long-term relationships, but otherwise, feel free to shut that down.

Anyone over 18 should be invited with a guest. No one wants to go to a wedding alone.

I’m not giving people a plus one. If you want a smaller wedding that’s between you and your FH. Honestly don’t understand why she’s saying that to you. Also remember not everyone will come so look at list and narrow it down. She’s got to understand it’s your wedding and not hers. She had hers.

View Quoted Comment Yep! She complained until she got her way. Prior to her demand, I was giving all people in a relationship a plus one and anybody who wouldn’t know people (coming with parents or an aunt coming with another aunt) a plus one. After her freak out, every body now has one. Unfortunately, this did not completely satisfy her and she tried to tell me I had to allow children (not happening-I’m a teacher and love kids, but not at my wedding). When she didn’t get that, she started trying to tell me I needed to put an insert in the invitations telling COUPLES they could bring additional guests if they wanted. At this point, she was pretty obviously way out of control so I called my aunt and made her set her straight 😉. She’s calmed down now and is happy with all the plus ones for singles. The guest list is over 200, but she’s paying for most of it, so I’ll make it work.

You’re not a bad person! We are giving plus ones to people who are in a relationship or those who would otherwise have no one there that they were comfortable with. But I’m not giving plus ones to cousins coming with parents etc.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it! Not everyone in my family or nor do my friends have a plus one. Weddings are meant to be intimate and personal you don’t want people you don’t really know at your wedding, and if you have a tighter budget it may not allow for it! I found a good map on Pinterest that helps give you direction whether or not a person gets a plus one and we used it to help guide us when we did our wedding list. I don’t think you’re mean I think you’re realistic!

I didn't give everyone a plus one for our wedding. We are on a tight budget. Adding plus ones basically doubles everything to include people we actually wanted at the wedding. I pretty much sorted everyone by how I know them, like my co workers could be each others dates, it's not like they don't know anyone at the wedding, they know each other so it's not that weird.

I have been invited to many if my friends' and families' weddings. I was single for all but one of them and I was in some, but I never got a plus one. I didn't think twice about it. They weren't my weddings, so why should one of my friends or even my significant other be invited when the bride and groom don't know them? Plus one are never required.

I disagree with your mom! No you are not an awful person! We are inviting 215 people of those 215 at least half are not getting a plus one. My Fiance and I agree that we don't want people to bring someone just because they can and we are trying to keep the numbers down. We have a lot of family and it is very hard to please everyone.

We are doing just the family and very close friends to the Bride and Groom. Planning to do something later when this COVID 19 is over.

As long as people dating/married regardless of how long they have been together are invited together, your single guests do not need a plus one. Weddings are expensive and you do not need to entertain random strangers who dont care about you.

What? I never knew there was a rule of everyone get's a plus one, I'm only giving a plus one to members of the bridal party, and that's about it. If my guests do want to bring a plus one, I'll have them message me about it first.

Hope she gives you the silent treatment a long while. Meanwhile, for the truly single, having given them to people who do not know anybody is enough. But the usual is to give them to anyone in a relationship at the time you send out invitations, and often college age people's family give unreliable feedback. They want to bring someone they are seeing, and not be with family. They should have their own invitation. I know many parents, moms particularly, who will lie straight faced and tell you their young adult is not serious about anyone, just because they want their young adult to stay with the family. When that person has been exclusive 3 months to years, at lest 5-6 at wedding time. And mom is saying to herself, well he isn't marrying her if I have anything to say about it. So give over 18, or out of high school people their own invitation. And ask them directly, not their parents, are you in a committed relationship, dating exclusively. Parents, like yours, often see things different from their grown kids, in unpredictable ways