Planning a wedding before "the proposal'. Everyone has an opinion...what's yours?

Thanks Reina you posted the reply I was going to post in replying to Pumpkin Sunshine, there is no guarantee that a guy or gal will not bail out whether you have that proposal and ring or not. I will agree that the situation that Pumpkin Sunshine expressed does hurt and I pray no one has to endure it, but it happens whether you had a proper proposal or not.

Regardless, no one should plan a wedding AT ALL without a commitment of some kind.

Well of course there is no sure thing. Even after the wedding it's not a sure thing. But the chances of him bugging out on you are greater if he hasn't actually committed to marrying you. If he can't even ask you to marry him, then you aren't engaged and you shouldn't plan a wedding.

Agree Heather!! A commitment of some kind is what you want, need, should require

Hmm well I started planning my wedding when I was little (like many girls do), and most of the things I wanted have changed since I started ACTUALLY planning, but the plans I had from before did give me a general direction.

I did end up changing a lot of what I had planned originally though. For example, I never thought I'd wear my hair down for my wedding, but I've worn my hair up so often in the past few years that I actually want to wear it down now for my wedding. I also just started growing out my hair for the first time, after wearing it no longer than shoulder length for almost my whole life...

Repost deleted

Hi, I'm new here but would like to comment on this post if I may. Congratulations to all. Ok, I j want to say that like myself, I don't see anything wrong with beginning the process and/or planning before the actual proposal if it's basically a done deal. We have talked about it a great deal and even a couple of weeks ago went to look at rings, but it's not official yet. Heck, I'd like to get an idea of the cost b/c we both got sticker shock trying on rings. We've both been married before and remember that previously, rings were a bit cheaper lol. So there you go. I also see nothing wrong with someone fantasizing and just planning for the sake of planning as long as they are realistic about what they are doing.

I dont have a ring either yet. My fiance propsed with a ring and i didnt like it so he got me another one and i didnt like that one. So of course he let me go pick myself out one and that one was waaaay more so now im waiting on him to get me the third ring!!! In the mean time i will continue to plan our wedding. Im just very picky.. But the proposal did happen with a 1 carat white gold ring. It wasnt my style tho.

Im in the same boat. My FI and I want to be married before we live together and we both have expressed our desire to marry each other- he brought it up. My lease is up in February and so we have decided to get married in January. I originally told him that having a short engagement is ok, but now that I see how everything takes a lot of time to order and plan, Im kind of scared to wait too long to get the ball rolling. My FI is currently looking for a ring and we are going to have a smallish wedding in the evening with no sit down dinner (we have a lot of talented friends to help- which we will pay.) I'm waiting to put down deposits and start the serious part (like meeting with venues or vendors.) We just don't have that much time to waste!

It is not necessary to have a ring before you plan your wedding. We began planning our wedding around August 2010, hired a wedding planner and paid for the venue, found a caterer all by January. I brought my dress in February and I did not get my ring until May 2011. We are getting married September 24, 2011. It depends on a persons comfort level, culture, traditions, preferences, etc to determine if planning first, ring later will work for them. It has definitelly worked for us.

We started planning months before the official proposal, we had our reception venue before i had my ring! mostly cause if we wanted our date, we needed to book it then, else another bride would have gotten it...

My FH did tell me that he fully intended to propose and that we would be married, I don't know about actual planning but I wish I would have started saving money prior to the proposal.

If you know its on the way who cares plan away!

So I know that this was last replied to a while ago but currently I'm one of those girls, planning a wedding before the ring and with a very casual proposal. We are very independent students, so there is no financial help for us. I have this huge issue with not being prepared so I tend to plan things early (for example: I bought house ware and furniture for our apartment 10 months before the intended move out date. I'm not a control freak, I just prefer to mark things off of my own list.) Another reason is because I've already told the bf that I don't need an engagement ring. I measure our relationship in time and feelings, as does he. (I'm not crazy, but I don't want him going broke on a ring when it really means nothing.) I only want one ring and I don't need it until we get married. And our proposal was just "I want to marry you," and we picked a date. We've been mapping it all out just so when I announce it to family, we won't have too much work.

From day 1 I told my SO what my marriage and family expectations were. We both see eye-to-eye on this and in an effort to please his family we are waiting as long as possible to become engaged as this will not be his first marriage. We are conversely facing my family living some distance away, therefore I have advised him I need 6 months headway so I can quickly book the venue and get the invitations in the mail. We have chosen colors, venue, vendors, attire, etc. but put money down on nothing but his ring because it was on sale and I think he was feeling a little left out since my rings were heirloomed to me. I am a total type A person and want to have everything planned and start saving now so that when he asks it will all fall together. I don't spend much time thinking about when he will ask because I want that part to be a surprise.

Ladies thank you soooo much. You're all definitely putting my mind at ease. My FH and I are not OFFICIALLY engaged, but we are mutually intending on marrying each other. We've talked about dates, colors, location, and we're working on a guest list. I also know he's getting with my close cousins to come up with the perfect way to propose. I do, however, have some family members who are against our way, but I'm way too in love to give a damn lol. We're happy and that's all that matters!

So I’m looking at a venue without a ring this coming Thursday. We have talked about marriage multiple times .. just not set when the phrase soon and him / I discussing things we want . But there are things we both want crawfish 🦞 so that limits to spring. And that’s wedding season lots of venues are booked solid til this nov. so yes dears I picked a date and if all needs are met this venue. Because I want a bounce house . And some venues say this is a insurance issue . Yes without a ring I will book it. Because I book it now it’s more time pay it off And no offense I’m not waiting two years or longer , for that spot to be able . Sorry not sorry . Everyone relationship is different but in mine I think me booking this a year out is more than fair . Even my bf agreed that I’m making valid points . He’s not mad about it. Then again we already live sooo do what you need to do ... I also don’t feel I’ve taken magic out of it because I know the date isn’t happening.. I’m just assuring we’ll have a venue. I’m not buying a dress etc til he actually proposes

..........