Pay your own meal

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I just Lol'd

View Quoted Comment In your original post you said it was 10-15$ though? Why 30

View Quoted Comment The cost for us is $30 per plate

I'm sorry if you feel attacked, OP. The fact of the matter is that you came looking for advice and it may not be the advice you wanted but this isn't really an etiquette "gray area". This is pretty black and white.

The cost is immaterial. weather it's $500 or 5 cents a plate, you should pay for whoever you invite. You should discuss with your parents about the overall budget. Are your parents really set on paying for family only or could you perhaps find a venue/cater that costs less per head so that you can feed everyone you invite within your budget? Could you perhaps do a slightly less extravagant meal so that everyone fit within the budget? Although, I'm not sure what you will find for less money (I think $30pp is a good deal), it's worth a try.

If not, you and your fiance need to save up to cover everyone you invite. I won't be presumptuous about what you can afford but if you can't afford to put in any additional money then you can't invite additional guests.

ETA: I don't think anyone was hateful, I just think we can be a bit blunt. I'm sorry people's responses upset you but I think that if you go forward with this, your friends who you invited but asked to pay part of their way would feel uncomfortable and hurt. I think that was the main thing everyone wanted to get across to you.

Okay normally I consider myself pretty easy going when it comes to wedding etiquette, (not for my own wedding) but I’m not going to crucify someone else for small stuff, but this is PATHETIC homegirl. You’re telling us that out of $50,000 dollars you can’t scale back somewhere to cover a few friends meals???? You know how crazy tacky it is to have a wedding THAT expensive and STILL not pay for your guests food?? Scale back on the bar for crying out loud and just do HOSTED beer and wine and pay for people’s food... I feel zero sympathy here. This is preposterous. I could never imagine my parents paying that much money for a wedding and then asking for MORE because you can’t pay for you own stuff. Absurd.

View Quoted Comment My wedding is not $50,000 people need to learn how to read!

View Quoted Comment Yeah... that doesn’t change my advice🤦‍♀️ Listen girl... everyone’s trying to help you out so that you don’t make a fool of yourself to your guests... take the advice or don’t, at the end of the day it only looks bad on you... good luck 👐

View Quoted Comment Again if people read all the comments they would see that it’s been taken care of and I’m not doing that. My dad is covering the rest.

I don't see why this is your dad's responsibility to pay. If your parents are being generous enough to gift you a sum of money, in my opinion you should pay for any additional guests yourselves.

Be grateful that your families are gifting anything, rather than expecting them to pay for everything you want. Many people pay for their entire weddings themselves, like us.

Do not ask your friends for money. That is so insulting. When you host an event, you pay.

View Quoted Comment I am paying over 10000 myself all my dad is covering is 200 people for food. And my mother is helping out with the rest. You people don’t know my life or anything like that. My dad paying for 200 people is more than he has done for me my entire life.

View Quoted Comment I don’t need to know your life to know that you should be grateful. No one is entitled to a wedding.

OP, I'm sorry people are replying to you without reading through to see your updates. That's always frustrating. I'm so relieved (for you) to read that you've found an alternative to your original plan! A lot of us consider things that end up being faux pas, this just happened to be a major one. But you listened and are fixing it! It takes a lot to satisfy some people, I personally don't think you should be getting flack for your dad paying more--without knowing your personal situation it would seem somewhat ungrateful to ask for more, but you know your family dynamic better than any of us, obviously. It sounds like maybe you have a rough relationship with your dad? If that's not the case, maybe it would be nice to gratefully accept his increased contribution, but then pay him back some later on when you can afford it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, people don’t know about my relationship with my dad, so my dad paying more Is something that I am Greatful for but also somewhat what he should do. My mother and my grandfather have supported me with everything.

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What he *should* do?? Back it up there. There's no *should* involved in this.

YOU need to cover the other people's meals. Don't make them pay for their own because you just might have only those who's meals are covered show up.

View Quoted Comment Again read other comments before posting. The situation has been taken care of

I am having a cheap Destination wedding in Vegas. Im inviting people but i too am not paying for the restaurant we go to

I’m have a wedding Dinner all guest are $60 per person and many ppl have RSVP so do what you have to do and those who love you will support you period!!!

View Quoted Comment Everyone on here is being very rude and inconsiderate. Not everyone can afford to pay for everyone’s meals.

View Quoted Comment A big wedding is not a necessity. More wedding guests than needed legally as witnesses are not a necessity. If you can’t afford to properly host a huge party, you don’t have a huge party.