Pay your own meal

Wait, you want your guests to pay for their meals at your wedding?

Please tell me that's not what you meant and I just misunderstood.

If you want to include your friends, you and FH should pay for their meals if your parents don't. The reception is a thank you to your guests. Making guests open up their wallets to feed themselves at your reception is the opposite of a thank you.

You cover your friends plates. $15 is not much.

No no no no no, guests are guests regardless of relationship. If your parents' gift only covers so many people then you need to cover the other guests or not invite anyone beyond who your parents are willing to cover

I'm honestly not sure they'd even show up if they knew they had to pay for their own dinner. And especially if they knew the other 200 people's meals were covered...

View Quoted Comment The cost per plate is $30

If you want to invite additional people, then you and FH need to pay for them. Someone that works for my company changed guests a cover fee to attend their wedding a few years back, and people STILL talk about how tacky it was. They basically invited everyone they knew, and then said anyone attending had to pay for their own food and drinks. It did not go over well.

"I love you enough to invite to my wedding. I don't love you enough to pay for your $15 meal. Can't wait to celebrate with you!"

View Quoted Comment If you really would like them there, you should cover the $30 for their meal. You're hosting, so only host the number you can afford.

If your parents are only paying for 200 people and you can’t afford to pay for more then you only invite 200. I would never go to a wedding where I have to pay for my own meal.

You only invite what you can afford. You don’t invite people and make them pay for themselves.

View Quoted Comment

Doesn't change my response. Its not that much. Cover their plates if you want them there.

I agree with the other responses - you should pay for their meals. No guest should have to pay to eat at your wedding (or in my opinion to drink either but I know some people have mixed feelings about that).

There is no correct/polite way to tell people that in order to come to your wedding, they have to pay for their own plate. So no one can answer that for you.

Edit: Also you can't tell people how to post.

“I don’t care about your friendship enough to properly thank you for coming to witness my wedding, so please bring a check or cash for $30 if you’d like to eat with other guests that didn’t have to pay for their own meals. I thoroughly expect that you’ll never speak to me again after this.” That’s the best wording I can come up with.

View Quoted Comment

Unfortunately there is no way to word this. Many people don't have $50k weddings, they have the weddings they can afford. If you can't afford to pay for your friends, unfortunately you're left with the 200 people your family are willing to pay for (which is not a small wedding by any stretch of the imagination).

I'm usually a "defend the bride" type of person but I can't really create any type of wording that would make this acceptable. If you can't afford it, then skip it.

Then wait a year and save so you can afford it. I certainly didnt have a $50k wedding, I hosted the amount i could afford. No one is entitled to a wedding. You parents seem to have been plenty generous.

There is no way to word it. I guess say , "Come pay for your meal, while the other guests dont." I wouldnt go.

I understand that you weren’t asking for feedback on this idea but your question was “how do I PROPERLY word this on the invitations.” There is NO proper way to do this since this is not a proper thing to do at your wedding. I’d laugh at this if I saw it on an invite and would definitely not be attending a wedding I had to pay for myself.

View Quoted Comment Your parents are covering the cost of family meals, so sounds like you have room to pay for friends meals who you want present.

There is no good wording, because it shouldn't be requested in the first place. Cut back in other areas like flowers, decor, etc. so you can pay for the friends meals.

FYI, I'm paying for all of my guests meals and I'm not having a $50000 wedding, so that's a poor reason to not feed your friends who you want to have there.