Pay your own meal

I get it people bad decision! Sorry I asked!

Clearly she’s not going to take anyone’s advice and is going through with this ridiculously rude behavior. OP, let us know how it goes once you send out that wording on the invite, I’m dying to hear the responses to that!

I'm more interested in how you're going to have an open bar for only $3000 for over 200 guests (Since the friends will drink for free I assume?).
The cost of liquor must be much cheaper where you're from!

View Quoted Comment Eh, my open bar was $1600 for 120 people. It's not impossible. I do live in a lower COL area though.

View Quoted Comment 3.50 a glass

How many friends are you inviting OP?

Immediate family is not 200 people. That will be a very deceptive and rude note on invitations.

What it sounds like is you don't feel like saving up your own money to properly host your friends. But you want them to come and celebrate with you, and probably spend even more money on a gift.

This is incredibly rude. Save until you can afford to host your guests properly.

View Quoted Comment I would pluck my eyeballs out with a fork before I asked someone to give a “donation” toward my wedding reception.

View Quoted Comment

Same lol! This must be a joke

We are literally having a yard sale to help pay for some of the newly incurred expenses that came with our change of wedding plans from local ceremony to family elopement/DW. A few hours on a Saturday may bring in a few hundred dollars. There ya go. Mischief managed and friends’ meals paid.

Katrina, I am sorry everyone's response was not what you wanted. Have you thought about how you will collect the funds? Do you want them to send you a check in advance like with their RSVP? If so, you need to say that. I agree the word donation is not really appropriate given the situation. If you say donation requested and you don't collect the money in advance, be prepared for some people to come and then not pay as it was only a "request". Will you be prepared to pay for those meals in that case? You mentioned the cost is $30 per person. But yet you only asked for a $10-15 donation. Are you and your FH covering the difference for your friends?

View Quoted Comment Yes we would of covered the difference. But with all the hate that was coming at me about even just asking. I had a huge break down and my mom contacted my dad and told him that he needed to pay for more people since her and I are covering all the rest of the expenses.

What was hateful??

Why cant you pay for your own friends? I'd be pissed if i were your father. Again you are not entitled to a wedding. They've already been generous.

That's wonderful. So you get to invite your friends and they will be fully hosted AND you don't have to pay more? Win win for everyone! I'm so happy for you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment This is nauseatingly rude. If I were to receive something like this, not only would I throw it in the trash, I wouldn't send a gift. Which is saying something since I tend to be on the side of thinking most "wedding etiquette" is made up nonsense.

You're insulting your friends AND once they find out your "limited funds" wedding actually cost $50k, you're going to ruin a lot of friendships. That wording that you've come up with is nothing short of a lie.

You have the wedding you can afford. Period.

View Quoted Comment

100% agree.

If you can afford half then I would suggest only inviting half or are there other options? Different caterer? Different (cheaper) food option in case your dad doesn't pay?

I took up a second job to pay to host the accidental small DW wedding (it was going to be an elopement of 10 people tops. Whoops!) I'm sorry you are getting/ feeling hate I think people are legitimately trying to help. I wouldn't word it as donation as donation is usually to a non-profit (I volunteer for a few non-profits and cringe when I see the word donation in this context. You aren't necessarily "profiting" from it but it's not going to help someone in need, medical issue).