Parents Paying for 99 Percent of Wedding, But His Side Is...

I clicked on this thread because I was curious to know what constitutes that last 1% your parents aren't covering. Ninety-nine percent...and still, complaints? You wanted to pay for your own wedding, but apparently you wanted your parents to pay for it more (or, maybe you just don't like "being silly"), and now you're concerned about the amount of money they're spending...because, why? Oh, that's right -- his side of the family is demanding a big party and not contributing (and apparently, they haven't been given a guest list figure, or someone is failing to tell them that the number is not a suggestion, but an absolute. So, somebody should get on that, I suppose. Problem solved).

And did you really find it necessary to say: "We both put our live on the line for you all every day...". Seriously? Well, I guess you win WW's MVP award. We're all just random women anyway...we never stood a chance [sigh]...

Why are people telling her to cut the guest list still? She has sent STDs. That ship has long sailed. She should have negotiated the guest list with his family long before they were sent. Another vote for not sending STDs. They almost always cause more guest list problems in the end.

OP, I just don't understand why you sent STDs when you were clearly not happy with how the guest list was divided.

We're paying for are wedding mostly by ourselves even after being promised by my parents that they'd pay half. Be grateful for the help you are receiving.

Sweety the wedding is yours and FH no one els. Both of you set the rules no one els. Be gratefull that your family is helping out and if his family cant chip in since they are the one wanting the big celebration just say No its that simple.. dont stress about it. If they dont want to attend also dont stress about it because you both can only do what is best for both of you. Dont go killing your self for people because when life goes wrong God forbids or your in need those same people have something to say.

Invite the amount that both of you can afford. People should understand this isnt a free for all and free party its about the groom and bride joining in marriage.

All the best hun and do what your heart desire.

I sent out STDs simply because we have a lot of our family traveling from different states. I was afraid if I sent it to just my side of the family and not his it would have caused issues.

Marv, it's too late to say no. The STD's are out.

I think what probably has to happen is that you just come to terms and accept that his family is what they are and disproportionate as it is, unfortunately you've got to deal with what you've got at the moment. We have a similar situation where I have significantly less family invited. Probably about the same proportion as you and your FH. Although we are footing the bill, if I asked (I just didn't) my dad would have helped out financially and I would have probably been a little upset that FH family seems to be, for lack of a better term, benefiting more from our wedding than mine is. They have also been more involved and FH keeps them in mind when we make decisions, where as I just go with what I want without much consideration for mine. I just want you to know that I've felt sort of the way you do but I finally just had to come to terms with it. And at the end of the day, it's going to be ok.

What do you mean by "his family is the one expecting a huge celebration and extravagant wedding"? I understand being frustrated if they are complaining about your/your parent's choices but not offering to pay for any of it. If that's the issue, I think you just have to learn to let it go in one ear and out the other. Don't feel like you need to give in to their demands; only people who are paying get a say in the decisions.

Why does it really bother you?

Don't ask his fam for anything.

ETA: I see you are bothered by the size of the guest list. If STDs are out, you can't change that. Put your foot down in other areas of "extravagance." Still, don't ask for anything. They may well offer to pay later. We were planning to pay for our rehearsal ourselves and made arrangements to do so. Then we just got a very generous gift from his parents to help with that expense. We didn't ask.

What's the point of this thread again?

Don't expect his parent to pay just because your parents are.