Parents Paying for 99 Percent of Wedding, But His Side Is...

You don't ask anyone for money. Be thankful that you're getting help, figure out your max amount of people and let his parent know how big their list can be.'

If you've sent STD's? You're SOL. Those people are coming and you'll have to pay for them.

If you don't have contracts with a venue or vendors you can just downgrade. I don't think you should and his family either. People that are excited for you usually do want the greatest for you so I don't think you should resent them.

Look, his parents are rude for not pitching in but also making demands. You're also well within your rights to put your big girl panties on and say no. But you have to be consistent. If inviting all aunts and uncles on both sides means you invite 3 and he invites 10 it is what it is.

Your parents were generous to offer to pay for the wedding. His family is in no way obligated to help financially nor should they be asked to. The numbers for each side will never be even in regards to who attends. The wedding is local for his side of the family so it's not surprising that more of his family will be in attendance. If you have exceeded the budget that your parents have you, then you and your FH need to cover the difference.

"She offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and brunch the next day (she has a lot of out of town guests). Now she's giving us a hard time over the cost of the brunch! She has more than enough money, she's just being difficult."

She gets to decide how she spends her money and how much of it she gives to you. If she's giving you a hard time over the cost of the brunch, you need to either scale back or pitch in to make up the difference. You have no right to judge how much money she has and what her motivation is.

I wish my parents could help me. Be grateful for what they are offering.

I agree with everyone about not asking FH's parents to help with the wedding. They are not obligated to do so. You guys probably should have discussed the guest list more before you sent out STD. Are you guys short money or do you just feel his family should chip in? Not really much you can do at this point.

No, don't ask them for money. What you should have done is give them x amount of people to invite. That's what we did, and they gave us a list according to the number we allotted them.

First off, we wanted to pay for our own wedding but I'm not going to turn down my parents offering to pay for ours. Anyone who does is silly. I'm the only child and they wanted to contribute. I'm an adult. You don't know my situation. I have a state job and so does my fiancé. We both put our live on the line for you all every day so I was not looking for sympathy from a bunch of random women just advice.

@Elixabeth: you obviously are responding to the wrong threat because you are quoting stuff I never said. lol.

It really doesn't matter what you do for a living. That still doesn't entitle you to ask people for money. You chose your career. And you are getting the advice you asked for. You just don't like it.

Also, I turned down money from my mother for the wedding. It wasn't silly. I knew she was only offering because my father did, and she couldn't actually afford it, since she's the sole breadwinner in her second marriage. Other brides have refused money because they wanted to retain control of important decisions. That's a choice you could have made too.

Hey I also put my life on the line for YOU every day, yet I've never once thrown that around in the forums. Way to go. Anyone is silly if they don't accept the money? Well then have fun with your petty little dilemma

A bunch of random women. Yet you decided to post here? Seems like you make bad decisions

You can accept money from your parents but then you can't hold it against his parents that they aren't giving you any more.

The advice is to get over it. If you've already sent STDs, you have to invite those people. If you haven't sent STDs, then tell his parents the list must be cut. But your FH should not approach his parents about contributing.

As you said, you are an adult with a job and the only people required to pay are you and your hubby. It's nice that your parents are contributing but if there are added costs that they can't handle, then you pay yourselves.

People decline so they can call their own shots. That is not silly at all.

Thanks for your service but that has zero to do with this conversation.

I was quoting another poster in this thread (thanks Kristin for pointing that out to her!).

Also, as others have said, your job is irrelevant and no, it's not silly to decline your parents' offer. I did as did many others. If you were planning to pay for your own wedding, then help your parents out at least and pay for some of your future in-laws. They're your family now too.

"We both put our live on the line for you all every day"

Wow. Alexandra, little too into yourself?

So does my FH. He's a cop but you don't see me advertising that on here. Get over yourself.

I was not looking for sympathy. I know I can simply say no. If it was that easy why would I be posting on here? If I decline to do what his family wants, I'm afraid my fiancé won't have the wedding he wants.

Wow. Your attitude is fantastic. My advice is to accept the help from your parents and pay for what they are not covering yourselves.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. That wasn't my intention. And I'm sorry if I can off as arrogant and spoiled. I guess I can't come to this forum now for help because everyone has this perception of me.

IMO, as adults, you do not ask for someone to contribute to your wedding. If you accept help from your parents...ask what they want a say in. The guest list should be mostly be determined by you n FH.

We are marrying near my hometown n I have a huge family. FH's family is mostly 1/2 across the country. I didn't invite aunts/uncles or cousins, where my FH did. Honestly, I can see 45 from my family n 10 from FHs. We can't change my family size or where FH is from. We are paying for the wedding ourselves.