Parents Paying for 99 Percent of Wedding, But His Side Is...

Most people pay for their own weddings. Be grateful for your parents but it's rude to expect his parents to give you money.

They're not expected to pay anything so just be thankful that you're getting help from one side. In the end, you're choosing to have the budget that you're having so it's not his family's fault they are bigger. If it was out of budget to invite them all then they shouldn't have been sent STD's. You have to set the budget according to what is affordable not according to making things even or having people pay.

It's not your family's or his family's responsibility to fund your wedding. But you should be glad yours is graciously helping financially. And I am assuming not trying to take over the vision of the day because they're vested. You could be paying for all of it yourselves, as many these days have to. Just because your family can help doesn't obligate his, and maybe their situation is different. My 2 cents, not the place to one up or match even in your mind. They're doing it for you, not them.

Just stop. You will not get sympathy here. All of your problems with this will be solved if you pay for your own wedding and have the wedding you can afford. If you accept money from other people, be prepared to deal with these type of things.

Can you take the part of the money that is supposed to be for the honeymoon and use that for those things? Then fund the honeymoon yourselves or just pay for those things yourselves. You definitely shouldn't be asking for money. It is wonderful that your parents offered to pay, but your FIL's are not obligated to just because your parents did.

What I wasn't able to mention because we don't have a lot of space given to us on this forum is that his family is the one expecting a huge celebration and extravagant wedding that's what irritates me and they are the ones demanding all his family be invited when we know only 20 people from my side will be able to make it.

Then tell them no. It's that easy.

You and FH need to be firm about the guest list. If they're expanding it, it's because you're letting them.

If his parents dont want to pay they dont have to regardless of what your parents are doing. My parents gave us a sum of money and his parents have chosen vendors to pay for no matter the cost within reason.

Dont ask his parents for money. If they want to contribute, they will. I would tell them no to inviting people who don't need to be there, or tell them they will have to pay for those people. I'd stand firm on the guest list

Don't ask. FH and I are paying for everything on our own including the RD, though it's going to be very casual and just bridal party.

I've been in the same situation you are. My parents footed the bill for our wedding because it's tradition, but my ILs only paid for the honeymoon. We narrowed down the ILs guest list and cut out some things they asked for because we couldn't afford it.

You've already sent out STDs so it's too late to narrow the guest list. From now on, just ignore/say no to their requests unless they do offer to pay something. If they've never mentioned paying, you can't ask them for money. Just tell them you and your parents cannot afford what they're asking for.

my grooms mom isn't paying for anything and I'm paying for the rehearsal dinner myself because I want to have one. His mom doesn't have much money and I would never ask her to pay. Like you, my parents are paying for most everything. I have only paid for some little things (invitations, save the dates, engagement photos, favors, some other smaller ticket things) don't ask his parents to pay. In my opinion it's rude. If they offer great, if not, it's YOUR wedding after all. In regards to their expectations, have the wedding you want and if they make comments about not having something, tell them no it's not in your budget.

Why would you cut 13 and under? Why didn't you make it adults only? That would have been a quick way to save money.

Now that you've sent STDs, you can't cut people, so you'll have to supplement your parents' budget to make up the difference. This is on you and your FH to get the money and no one else.

There's no more his side and your side, percentages don't matter! Be super grateful, that's awesome!

Not much you can do now, but this is another situation why STDs to local people do not make sense.

I understand your frustration. You can't expect anything from anyone. It's nice if they offer, but can't expect otherwise. My father is paying for our wedding. His mother (father passed away) offered to pay for something, but my dad declined for the wedding. She offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and brunch the next day (she has a lot of out of town guests). Now she's giving us a hard time over the cost of the brunch! She has more than enough money, she's just being difficult. I didn't ask for the help, but since she offered, I thought it would be simple. I know it's not the same situation, but you have every right to have those feelings, however, you can't take what's not offered.

I paid for my own wedding because I'm an adult so I have no advice to give.

I cut out all family except for our mothers and son and I have a huge close knit family. Suck it up buttercup and start either a) learning to say no; or b) cutting your guest list

The tradition of his parents pay this and that and yours pay this and that is OLD fashioned. Most couples pay for their own wedding because they're adults and want to be able to have the most say for their wedding.