Parents, are you offended at Adults Only receptions?

Amy-That's crazy. That's what I don't get. Not everyone sees your child as a special snowflake.

I agree with Amy - and it's not only your unwillingness to leave your kids at home that offends me. It's also your unwillingness to respect who we, as a couple, want to have at our wedding. The attitude "so what if a kid sticks his finger into your cake" is also what scares me and offends me.

Um I care if your kid sticks a finger in my cake. I would care if MY kid stuck a finger in YOUR cake.

I will be honest when I was a new mother and a young mother (early 20's when I had DD) I felt the same way "How dare they not let me bring little Suzy to the party, I can't be away from her and she's as special as anyone else." I have since changed my views. Doesn't mean I'm right or wrong just that I have changed my mind.

We can sit here and go round and round all day, there are arguments for and against on either side. Doesn't mean one opinion is more worthy than another just means we disagree

I wouldnt be offended, your wedding your day so do it your way...

It does not offend me if it is an Adults Only. In fact we are having an adult only reception with the exception of our kids that are 11,14,17 when we get married. I feel that alcohol and kids dont mix. I like to have fun away from my kids at time. I call that "GROWN UP TIME". Our kids are at that age where I dont have to worry if they going to stick there finger in the cake or wonder where they have ran off to. It really boils down to if your kids know how to behave. FH wants to invite more kids to the wedding and reception but when he realized that alcohol will be in the mix he changed his mind. Even the flower girl and ring bearer will be leaving after the wedding. We actually have a friend whose daughter offered to baby sit in the suit of the hotel room....

Agreed amy!!!!!

I don't have children but this really offends me. What is the point of having no children there? Every wedding that I've been to had children at them. They make it so much more fun. They are the ones on the dance floor having fun all night. I get the alcohol thing but that brings up another issue I have...what is the point of getting drunk at a wedding reception. Isn't the day about being with family and friends, celebrating and enjoying your time together? Why does alcohol have to be a part of this? Plus, aren't children part of your family too? Don't you think they would enjoy the wedding reception? Now I do understand that maybe some children don't behave but that is the parents job to deal with. I couldn't imagine not inviting my siblings, cousins, nieces/nephews all because they are children.

Sorry...I've never posted on this subject because it really bothers me...but today I just felt like. I don't mean to offend anyone with my comments. I just had to get it out there today.

Amy why does it offend you if someone chooses not to come without their kids? Wouldn't it be a good thing that they are respecting your wishes and not attending with their children? If she made a big fuss about it I don't get that either. If you don't want kids there and the guests with kids don't wish to attend without their kids I don't understand why either side would be offended. It's a win win for you.

I don't have kids but I wouldn't be offended by someone telling me I couldn't bring my child. Not everyone is going to feel the same way about my little susiepoo as I do. And I do care if your child sticks thier hands in my cake cause I'm sure you'd care if my child did it to yours. I don't think people intend on getting "drunk" at receptions but alcohol does impair judgement and I can't account for what you might do in front of or around my child at someone's reception. Children don't enjoy weddings, shoot some adults barely enjoy them. I just think people shouldn't take it so personally. If you don't like it stay at home...with your child!

Okay, the reality is this; when you decide to have kids, you make a decision that effects a lot of other decisions in your life as a family; do you get to ride a motorcycle, dive out of a plane? Maybe not anymore. Do you go to a wedding that will stretch your dollars and patience to a thin thread? Maybe not; no one would be offended (I don't think) if you stayed home with that as the excuse; it's a darn good one. Someone should ask THAT question...)

I can tell you this too; no one except the grandparents think your kid is as adorable as you do. Other guests are frequently annoyed by them, to the point of distraction. Many, many times the ceremony that includes screaming, tantrum throwing children is a ceremony that is ruined (and I'm not blaming the kids; a three year old may just not be ready to be forced down the aisle in front of 200 guest, no matter how cute you think she is and how much you want her to do

Whether or not the bride and groom consider this a 'family event that includes kids' or not, is really up to them, not anyone who is invited. And trust me, most kids do not enjoy the wedding. Many adults do not enjoy the wedding, as Brittany pointed out.

Bottom line? It's the couple's choice. If the guests choose to be offended, well, that's their issue, not the couple's.

Celia while I agree with you about people shouldn't be offended if their child can't come, I stick with the bride and groom shouldn't be offended if people choose not come without their child. Goes both ways.

It absolutely does go both ways!

As a mother of a very well behaved 9 yr old..Im not offended! If you can get a sitter for date night or when you want to go out, this shouldnt be much different other than you have about a year to find a sitter. I found a sitter for a week when we went on our honeymoon! lol

We didnt have an adult only but if there were more kids in our family, we would have! We only had 4 young children, all of which were in the bridal party.

Me personally, I'm annoyed going to weddings where there are kids. I want a night out and personally don't want to hear the baby whining/crying in the church or listen to the 2 year saying zoooom zooooom with his match box car during the toast...

I don't want to curb my conversations because a 9 year old might over hear something that a 9 year shouldn't hear. Older teens are fine but I have often seen them hitting up the bar when no one is looking.

I know all of this makes me sound like a terrible human being but I can be nice when I'm at a wedding with kids. I'm still polite, but it does annoy me nonetheless.

What about offering someplace for the kids to go? another room with games and babysitters and a place to sleep when it gets late? Maybe that will calm her down.

@Future Mrs. Covingtion. Wedding are for children. Why do I have to comprise because for a kid. I am paying for a stress free celebration. Not some toddler screaming bloody murder, 8 year who doesn't like any of the food, or a stink teenager forced to come because mom and dad don't want to leave them home. I understand if you can't come because you don't have someone to watch them. I feel it would be cheaper on the parents to leave them home. Why pay 4 people special outfits, flights, food, and stay when you can pay for only two. Wouldn't be cheaper to pay for a sitter for an overnight .

MY FH doesn't care but I am looking at the budget.

Where did I say you had to compromise? Never. Do what you wish. I simply responded to you posting weddings aren't for children. That is your opinion. Not everyone feels that way therefore if your guests choose not to come because they can't bring their kids then so be it. You can't be upset with them nor they with you.

I am having an adult only wedding - too many people I'd like to invite and not enough $$ to spread down to feed the kids too. Plus - space - i don't have enough chairs for the kids. so it has to be an adult wedding. My cousin is not attending since he has kids. he said he never went to past adult only wedding so he's not going to mine.

Not at all... I'd love the chance for a night for just the two of us without feeling guilty for getting a babysitter